Great Couples Counseling in Burke, VA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couple counseling often help improve communication and many other issues that come up in relationships . Even Couple that have been married or engaged for long time sometime get stuck when approached with how to handle situations in there relationship. Stanley Tamale Counseling Services has therapist that can address issued of lack of communication .

Learning that one's spouse or partner has been living a "secret" sexual life can very quickly lead to the dissolution of a marriage or relationship. I work with couples to help heal the damage that one spouse has done to the marriage and family. Couples therapy can also be helpful in helping couples heal from the damage caused by a spouse's anger issues.

A large part of my work as a therapist is with couples: married, unmarried and pre-marriage. My approach focuses on communication, conflict resolution and understanding the internal dynamics of each individual and how these dynamics affect the couple relationship. I seek to help you understand your own personality and background as well as that of your partner. I am certified to administer an inventory, which can uncover the similarities and differences in your relationship dynamics.

There are two most basic fears of intimacy that we all have: one is fear of abandonment, the other is fear of being taken over, of losing my autonomy. In a relationship, people often become polarized with one clinging and the other seeming distant. With awareness of our fears and how to take care of ourselves and each other, we will bring out the best in each other. Everyone knows how to speak and listen, right? Not so. The most difficult skills to learn are to speak self-responsibly about your own experience and to truly listen and understand the other person's experience even when you don't like it. To learn these skills enables love. I can help.

Couples counseling, which includes marriage counseling, tends to be at least 50% of my work as a therapist. I have had post-graduate training in couples counseling and working with couples after an affair. I am also certified to provide pre-marriage counseling using the Prepare Inventory. There is great benefit in seeing a counselor when your relationship is fracturing. In therapy, each person is given the opportunity to express his or her concerns, communication and conflict resolution skills are developed, and new patterns of relating are established.

Couples counseling (whether with romantic partners, marital partners, friends or colleagues) is an effective means of improving your life, your partner's life, and the condition of those living with and around you. My approach is based on a blend of writers such as Drs. John & Julie Gottman, Ester Perel, Terry Real, etc..and theories such as Imago and Emotionally Focused Therapy. I do not think any one theory or method works for all clients. We will work together to determine what works best for you and your partner in order to facilitate growth and to enable you to have greater understanding, compassion, and improved communication in your own home.

My Approach is Different: I spend more time preparing for a session than the average marriage counselor, often an hour, and do so free of charge! I also spend more time between sessions, not just 10 minutes, so I am fully prepared to work on your case. Moreover, my "hour" is an actual 60 minutes, not a "therapy hour," defined to mean something less. My approach is diametrically opposed to that of one therapist who said "that 45- or 50-minute sessions allow therapists to offer a fresh perspective and remain objective without getting too immersed in a client’s life." "Too immersed?" I don't get that. Couples appreciate my full dedication to their success and happiness as a couple.

Intimate relationships have a unique ability to highlight areas we need improvement in. With that said, the challenges that intimate relationships pose also create the opportunity for each person in the relationship to grow in ways they otherwise would not have. In couples counseling with me, we will work to understand how the baggage each person brings into the relationship affects the relationship, as well as discover strategies to support each other in healing so that this relationship can help both individuals be the person they have potential to be.

My "Treasure Therapy" helps couples to become aware of themselves and their partner and to appreciate our inherent worth. I use different lenses to analyze how our social identity and sense of worth is shaped by society. This is important for helping couples have a sense of mutuality. John Gottman, an expert in couples therapy, talks about how power differentials can actually impede trust in his book, The Science of Trust. My own PhD research looked at 91 couples and found 12 common factors that influenced the balance of power in heterosexual romantic relationships, summed up with the word "TREASURES" because it summarizes how we approach people as precious treasures.

I offer couples therapy for partners who are looking make positive changes in their relationships, whether they are dating, engaged, married, or committed. I blend strategies and interventions from several couple therapy models to fit our conversations to your unique goals. By learning new skills, healing emotional injuries, experiencing each other's vulnerabilities in a safe way, and gaining insights about how each other's past influences their current behaviors, we work together to build a compassionate and joyful relationship.

Every relationship has its challenges. Sometimes it takes an outside person to help you and your partner work through these challenges in an empathic and objective way. I use techniques that have been proven to work. Together, we will create a trusting and safe environment where you and your partner can talk openly about the issues that divide you. I don’t take sides or place blame. Instead, I work to understand each of you as individuals and as a couple. Our work will focus on building better communication skills, having more positive experiences as a couple, and coping more effectively with challenges. Together, you and your partner can build a stronger relationship.

In my work with couples, I view the relationship through the lens of attachment theory. The person we chose to be our partner, may become our "secure home base" as your relationship grows to be a healthy partnership to celebrate, depend on and lean on through the ups and downs of life. I view couples counseling as working with three entities: both partners and the relationship. The relationship you both share becomes my focus as we all collaborate together to bring forth the best relationship you can imagine. I look forward to working with you both. I use EMDR, Emotion Focused Therapy and Expressive Arts in my work with Couples.