Anger Management and Counseling in Coto de Caza, CA.

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions. Anger management is an approach designed to help you manage the emotional and physiological arousal that accompanies anger. As it's often not possible to change the circumstances or people that elicit anger, anger management can help you recognize your triggers for anger and learn to cope with them more effectively.

IS ANGER MAKING YOUR LIFE MORE DIFFICULT? Are concerned about losing your relationships or job due to anger? Have you tried ways to control it but nothing worked? I can help you learn effective strategies to manage your mental state so that you will be in control of your life instead of being the slave of your emotions. Call me for a free telephone consultation session today to be one step closer to the kind of life you truly want.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

I have worked in the field of counseling for 30 years, and in specific have assisted many clients over the years in the area of anger and rage management--either court ordered or not. I have a specific format to follow and some adjunct exercises to assist my clients in their finding a means for expressing their feelings without resulting in rage. I help my clients regain control over their emotions, rather than letting their emotions control them. New tools are introduced and reviewed with couples or individuals to assist in this process. I hope that you will give me a call to find out more about how i might help you in this area.

Anger when used appropriately can be a useful tool to give us the aggressive energy we need to take action when we are feeling helpless or victimized. Unfortunately, it is often misused and becomes abusive, creating whole new problems for relationships and careers. I work with clients to first learn to control their emotional expressions, define the underlying feelings creating the hostility, and learn new skills to better utilize their feelings to resolve conflict in more adult ways.

Anger is actually a secondary emotion. Below anger one can almost always find more vulnerable emotions. It is difficult to access and communicate those more vulnerable feelings when emotions are running high. The first step is to learn to turn down the volume of the emotions. This can be done a using a variety of skills which I teach, such as through breath control, progressive muscle relaxation, body scan, calming imagery and affirmations, etc. Then once quieted we can help you to understand and be able to use constructively the deeper feelings and needs which fueled the overly strong anger response.

Often our relationship with anger can transform from 'management' to recovery, when we allow ourselves to work through the themes that generated the anger in the first place. Anger keeps us stuck and directs too much of our energy in a non-productive manner. I can help you work it through so your energy can flow in a more profitable direction. An internal shift of this type and magnitude can represent the difference between getting through life with anger and resentment and fully enjoying your life.