Great Couples Counseling in Arden Arcade, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples therapy often triggers roadblocks in communication. In being shaped by prior relationships, we create various meaning from our experiences as well as receiving and giving instructions on how to live. When we form new relationships of any kind, this gets challenged; coming together and finding a path forward that celebrates all involved is the key to success. My specialty is interracial couples; regardless of if you both come from different backgrounds, the goal is to create shared meaning that is co-constructed. I can help with this process.

Many couples find themselves having the same argument over and over in different forms, never quite reaching what it's really about. That repetition doesn't mean your relationship is broken; it means something underneath the surface hasn't been heard yet. I help you slow the cycle down and see what each of you is reaching for beneath the friction: the longings and fears that are hard to put into words. So much of what strains a partnership lives in what goes unsaid, and as it comes into the open, real understanding and closeness become possible again. I don't take sides. I've watched many discouraged couples rediscover each other, and I'm confident you can too.

It can happen to any of us...everyday stressors we bring home to get taken out on the wrong person - - the one person who means more to us than anything. It leaves you both feeling awful. Maybe you are not getting enough attention, conversation, physical intimacy. The focus of relationship counseling is to change the negative path to a positive one: learn to listen to each other, support each others needs and goals, be willing to compromise, make family and relationship decisions together, stop keeping score, reconnect, relax, and enjoy each other If you reading this, you have already begun to move forward. Please call me so I can help you work through your issues and reconnect.

In Couples therapy I have completed Level Three Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and I use Gottman Method in therapy work. Gottman Method Couples Therapy is a structured, goal-oriented, scientifically-based therapy. Intervention strategies are based upon empirical data from Dr. Gottman’s three decades of research. This research shows us what actually works to help couples achieve a long-term healthy relationship. Also, in my practice, as needed, other therapy methods are employed as well.

Nothing means more to you than your relationship with your partner. It's why it hurts so much when you try to get close and they shut down or find some other way to pull away. Or maybe you feel suffocated, criticized, and not enough because it feels like too much is wanted from you. You're not alone. I get how important this person is to you, and want to help you to recognize your stuck push/pull pattern so that you can feel satisfied and understood in your relationship. This is also true when there are more serious problems, like affairs or addictions. As you learn what motivates you as well as your partner, you can again renew the bond of this most important relationship.

Couples therapy is my area of specialization and I love this part of my work. Many couples I see are in significant distress in their relationship and we work toward understanding what is causing and maintaining the distress. We will identify and explore the relationship patterns that lead to disconnection as the first step toward positive change and then work toward the development of greater intimacy, trust, safety and emotional connection. I have helped many couples who are on the brink of separation and divorce, as well as couples who are recovering from affairs, betrayals, and addiction.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

“I work to help couples understand and communicate with each other better. I help them uncover the complex and varied realities that impact them while moving them to a better and healthier relationship.” I have a passion for working with all ages, races, cultures and orientations. I incorporate mindfulness techniques, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and methods by Satir and Minuchin into my sessions. My goal is to help couples to regain healthier ways of communicating and the ability to live with themselves as well as each other.

I use a combination of tried and true couples communication techniques to help couples create and build effective communication into their relationship. I also spend time on exploring sexual compatability and communication, when the couple wants their sexual lintimacy enhanced. IF there is lack of desire or an imbalance of desires, we address the roots of this.With couples who come for pre-marital counseling, we focus on communication skills and on common needs and wants the couple have for their impending marriage and family unit. We also look at any red flags that are showing up in the relationship.

Couples are often asked to participate first individually in a pre-counseling consultation. The following goals are then planned around improving strategies as a couple. My initial approach is directed at improving communication skill; listening and how verbal information and body language are being delivered to the other. The couple learns how to work together in a stimulating specific behavioral change. Sessions promote conversation about the couple's differences and similarities. Individually, you will find ways to unlearn old negative patterns to interpersonal related conflicts. Negative behaviors from the past and the memories, can often weaken the couple relationship in the present.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

I am a Certified Gottman Therapist and use the world famous, clinically proven Gottman method in my work with you. The Gottman Method is backed by 40 years of research establishing what makes marriage succeed or fail. I bring a deep, abiding passion to helping you and your partner get back to the love that you have for each other. Using the Sound Marital House to asses your relationship strengths and weaknesses, according to the research, I customize our work together, focussing on the areas you need help and education with to restore trust, intimacy & friendship. Most people contact me for painful fighting that creates emotional and sexual distance. Learn tools to restore your relationship!