Great Couples Counseling in La Habra Heights, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples therapy should not be about hashing over old wounds. Getting what you want from a relationship involves good communication and active listening, tolerance and forgiveness, emotional intelligence, having common goals and working cooperatively and, like all the bets things in life, presents us with a challenge. Relationships can be hard work but the work is rewarding and life-enhancing. I love to work with couples who are committed to improving their future rather than reliving their past.

I have worked with hundred's of couples over the last 20 years. Each couple is unique in their own right which means there is no one way to "fix" a problem. Our deepest longings and hopes emerge in a couples relationship. Oftentimes we are working out unmet needs and hopes carried forward from our early family relationships to our present couple relationship. Problems become increasingly complex and difficult to overcome when we don't know what these issues are all about. Couples remain stuck in conflict not because of what they know, but what they don't know or can't recognize. The work in therapy is to help couples recognize unhealthy patterns of relating and introduce novelty.

Is this you? All we do is fight! It seems like we never hear each other and neither of us listens anymore! It is so frustrating I do not want to come home and try. I have been successfully helping couples to develop the tools necessary to communicate effectively for more than 20 years. Having disagreements is not unusual. Learning how to resolve disagreements is a key element to healthy relationships. Conflict resolution is about learning to fight fairly by listening in an atmosphere of Respect, Trust, Safety and love and not placing my desire to be right over the relationship.

Couples come into counseling for various problems. Couples therapy can be very helpful to identify negative patterns of behavior which cause unhappiness, it also can point our strengths in the relationship which are causing a great deal of satisfaction in the relationship. I work from a Christian based Gottman model to help couples to quickly determine what is going wrong for them and help them to solve these issues and have the happy relationship they desire.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

The purpose of couples therapy is to restore an enhanced level of functioning in couples who experience relationship distress. This distress can result in poor communication skills, incompatibility, or a broad spectrum of psychological disorders that include domestic violence, alcoholism, depression, anxiety or other issues. You should be advised that honesty, providing all necessary information, cooperation, keeping appointments on time, and a sincere desire for change and improvement are all imperative to increase your chances of a successful outcome. Additionally, a willingness to work "towards" and "with" the process of treatment is essential. When you call me to begin the process, we learn about your relationship's traits and work together to...(view profile to read more)

Many couples find themselves having the same argument over and over in different forms, never quite reaching what it's really about. That repetition doesn't mean your relationship is broken; it means something underneath the surface hasn't been heard yet. I help you slow the cycle down and see what each of you is reaching for beneath the friction: the longings and fears that are hard to put into words. So much of what strains a partnership lives in what goes unsaid, and as it comes into the open, real understanding and closeness become possible again. I don't take sides. I've watched many discouraged couples rediscover each other, and I'm confident you can too.

Couple relationships are the source of our greatest joy, fulfillment, frustration, fear, and hopes. When they go well, there is nothing better. When the go wrong they are the source of intense emotional pain. Did you know that there is significant, reliable research that informs what builds and what can unravel even the most loving relationships? We have this knowledge and can share it with you in a safe, caring, and confidential environment. It is possible to make your good relationship great and your hurting relationship whole again.

I specialize in couples and marriage counseling. My most successful approach involves helping couples identify and then change circular patterns of interacting with each other. To change these patterns, I teach new effective communication skills as well as new problem-solving skills in a 9-step program called "Conflict to Connection."

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

My goal is to help the couple learn how to love each other well. We work on learning how to express their needs and desires and also how to give to the other in the way that they need. I require homework assignments to develop intimacy and passion on a daily basis. We work on sexuality and physical closeness. Communication, anger management, roles and responsibiliteis are all addressed as needed. I am a nationally touring group counselor for New Life Ministries couple conventions. I have a hugs bag of tools and techniques as well as experience in leading couple retreats. Couples are my specialty.

Being understood and respected is the foundation for a healthy and loving relationship. This can happen when we decide to truly listen to each other. As Author Dr. David Augsburger puts it “Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference.” If you'd like to repair your relationship and move toward growth and healing then please call me for a free consultation at 714-326-6578

As a dedicated student of both the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused modalities of couples therapy, I bring both specialized knowledge and extensive experience to my work with couples. I help partners improve communication, navigate conflict, deepen emotional connection, and develop the tools needed to create stronger, more fulfilling relationships.