Great Couples Counseling in Brea, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

FRUSTRATED ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? Stressed out about what to do next? Are you considering breakup or divorce but really want to give it a last chance? Would you like to take one more look before making any permanent decision? I can help you gain clarity, confidence in your decision making in regards to a very important matter in your life through a brief and focused counseling process.

Couples therapy combines techniques from the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy. After gathering a comprehensive history about your relationship, we will specify goals and work to build strong emotional alliances. The goal is to help lead you to a deeper understanding of each other, and then move toward more effective problem solving and accountability for communicating your needs within the relationship.

I have been assisting couples in their relationships as a professional, objective marriage counselor for 30 years. Couples counseling calls for specific techniques and abilities and I pride myself on being able to get to the core issues in a relationship and begin working to change those immediately. I incorporate many strategies to accomplish your goals which may include: new communiction tools, breaking old patterns, homework assignments--reading or exercises to practice, and role playing. Every couple is different, but many of the problems have similar root causes. We set goals together initially, and then effectively work together to reach those goals in simple and effective sessions

Many couples find themselves having the same argument over and over in different forms, never quite reaching what it's really about. That repetition doesn't mean your relationship is broken; it means something underneath the surface hasn't been heard yet. I help you slow the cycle down and see what each of you is reaching for beneath the friction: the longings and fears that are hard to put into words. So much of what strains a partnership lives in what goes unsaid, and as it comes into the open, real understanding and closeness become possible again. I don't take sides. I've watched many discouraged couples rediscover each other, and I'm confident you can too.

Couples can build and maintain positive close relationships. Take an objective look at your relationship, to get help to reduce dysfunctional behaviors, feel that you can share your emotions, communicate effectively, and emphasize what's working. Most importantly, by remembering that each relationship has its unique challenges and strengths, you'll be giving yours the best chances for survival.

I have worked with hundred's of couples over the last 20 years. Each couple is unique in their own right which means there is no one way to "fix" a problem. Our deepest longings and hopes emerge in a couples relationship. Oftentimes we are working out unmet needs and hopes carried forward from our early family relationships to our present couple relationship. Problems become increasingly complex and difficult to overcome when we don't know what these issues are all about. Couples remain stuck in conflict not because of what they know, but what they don't know or can't recognize. The work in therapy is to help couples recognize unhealthy patterns of relating and introduce novelty.

Whether early in a relationship or at the multiple decades mark, every couple will face challenges, some more devastating than others. After thirty plus years of marriage, I understand the temptations, challenge, and pitfalls that can create problems for even the healthiest of relationships. This may include communication problems, feeling disconnected, loss, sexual concerns, infidelity, finances, bringing up baby and more. Through addressing past and present concerns, I help couples to better understand and to appreciate the parts they can play in building a strong relationship. I help couples improve interactions and increase effective communication. Call me at 949.370.4726 or e-mail info@south....

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

Couples therapy should not be about hashing over old wounds. Getting what you want from a relationship involves good communication and active listening, tolerance and forgiveness, emotional intelligence, having common goals and working cooperatively and, like all the bets things in life, presents us with a challenge. Relationships can be hard work but the work is rewarding and life-enhancing. I love to work with couples who are committed to improving their future rather than reliving their past.

Couples are often asked to participate first individually in a pre-counseling consultation. The following goals are then planned around improving strategies as a couple. My initial approach is directed at improving communication skill; listening and how verbal information and body language are being delivered to the other. The couple learns how to work together in a stimulating specific behavioral change. Sessions promote conversation about the couple's differences and similarities. Individually, you will find ways to unlearn old negative patterns to interpersonal related conflicts. Negative behaviors from the past and the memories, can often weaken the couple relationship in the present.

Many of us can remember the frustrations, hurts, and joys experienced in a loving relationship. Often couples can become confused with the variety of emotions and complicated interpersonal interactions. A counselor can help a couple avoid the pitfalls that can destroy a relationship and help a couple to establish healthy bonding and boundaries within effective communication to enhance and maintain a healthy relationship. For those in an unhealthy relationship, counseling can help an individual understand their need for change, setting boundaries, and maintaining safety for themselves and for other family members.

When two individuals desire to be together due to the mutual love they feel for one another and encounter difficulties within the relationship seeking therapy is vital. Each couple has specific relationship need and goals. Learning the partners love language, relationship goals and assisting them with communication skills can be crucial in providing longevity to the relationship.