Great Couples Counseling in Lakewood, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Marriage counseling can be the best thing you can do for your relationship, whether you’re having marriage problems or not. Either way, the skills learned in marriage counseling can help you find happiness and satisfaction with your spouse. If you are having significant problems, and you want marriage counseling to work, you need to be willing to put everything into it. You cannot shut down and refuse to participate because you “already made your decision.” Give your marriage a chance. Give yourself and your spouse a chance to be happy. I have helped many couples, and I have found that the majority of them benefit from the therapy and gain happier marriages. Unfortunately, many couples wait ye....

When problems enter a relationship or family construct it is easy for people to fall into cycles of blame that create further disharmony. I utilize Narrative Therapy and post-modern practices that highlight social discourses that may be influencing your relationship. Collaborating, we will find what unites you in your relationship and how be in partnership against the problems that keep you in isolation. Together, we will target those struggles that are threatening your relationships and understand how to get out of the blame cycle—and how to re-focus on your shared dreams as a couple or family.

The love you once felt for each other when you met and decided to live together is still there. Love appears to erode and even disappear as we take our relationship for granted. We can become Insensitive, lazy, stop being involved, intimate or concerned and understanding. These disconnections lead to more and more distance over time. Arguing or indifference can become a way of life. Along with a lack of intimacy, sex,sharing of interests and even simple communication. This disconnect in the relationship can lead to abuse, betrayal, infidelity, separation and divorce. in Couples Counseling we will identify the issues, set goals and activities to reconnect with the love that is still there.

We work with couples who are struggling in their relationship because of problems that may include finances, communication, sex, kids, in-laws, abuse, boundaries, respect, roles, job stress, and infidelity. We also work individually with each member of the couple, as sometimes there are issues that are best discussed or explored separately. Our clients learn a different, more loving and accepting model of communication so that they can more fully enjoy their relationship without unnecessary frustration.

Even the best couples have long-term issues that they disagree about. Without communication, it is hard for even the most loving couples to last. I help couples take their conversations further in my office than they do at home. Eventually, you will learn to do it by yourself at home. I help couples learn to approach difficult subjects, discuss and resolve them. I help identifying hot spots, get more comfortable ways to communicate about them, learn to be more sensitive to each other, and perhaps more importantly, find your way through these conflicts so you can get on with the more satisfying, happy and enjoyable aspects of your lives together.

My initial work was with sexless/touchless couples, where I developed a speciality in supporting them in bringing the passion back to their relationship. This included sex of course, but also a deeper passion, a passion for life, a joie de vivre, a deep, loving connection. This is how I became known as the "Passion Doctor". My approach is to get the couple back into connection: verbally, emotionally and physically through psycho-education and exercises specifically tailored for them. My approach is not cookie-cutter or generic and combines the many disciplines I have studied and practiced including psychotherapy, somatic work, breath work and Tantric practices.

My goal is to help the couple learn how to love each other well. We work on learning how to express their needs and desires and also how to give to the other in the way that they need. I require homework assignments to develop intimacy and passion on a daily basis. We work on sexuality and physical closeness. Communication, anger management, roles and responsibiliteis are all addressed as needed. I am a nationally touring group counselor for New Life Ministries couple conventions. I have a hugs bag of tools and techniques as well as experience in leading couple retreats. Couples are my specialty.

I have worked with many couples over the years...married, living together, same sex or heterosexual. My initial focus is to understand the underlying dynamics and pain that each of the partners is experiencing in the relationship and what has caused the conflict, disappointment and distress they now feel. I then work to help each of them understand the needs of the other, and be able to communicate (hearing what the other means and "feels" and expressing what they need and feel) in more loving, respectful and clear ways. We work together to restore the attachment and bond that has been damaged so that they can rediscover love, intimacy, trust and respect for each other.

When couples wish to work through their relationship difficulties, or do premarital couples therapy, they will find my office to be a safe, nonjudmental, and encouraging space. You will colaborate with your spouse, and prioritize issues you'd like to discuss. You will explore your own ability for acceptance and tolerance of your spouse's behavior. We will work together on communication skills, and styles, we'll try to soften the dialogue. We'll learn about problem solving skills with which husband and wife are heard. If there are sexual problems, I have experience in treating sex addiction, internet pornography addiction, and the affect of extended families on your relationship.

Every relationship experiences arguments and conflict. That is an inevitable part of being in an intimate relationship. These differences do not have to undermine a relationship so long as the underlying patterns of interaction which keep these conflicts active can be understood and resolved. As a specialist in couples counseling, I seek to help a couple identify these patterns and learn how to listen with understanding while promoting the authenticity of each individual. I use an emotionally focused treatment which allows a couple to work through their conflicts while enhancing their feelings of attachment and closeness. With 32 years of experience, I have helped many couples do this.

When two individuals desire to be together due to the mutual love they feel for one another and encounter difficulties within the relationship seeking therapy is vital. Each couple has specific relationship need and goals. Learning the partners love language, relationship goals and assisting them with communication skills can be crucial in providing longevity to the relationship.

Are you feeling disconnected from your partner? Drifting apart? Constantly fighting? Leading separate lives? It would be a privilege to help you reconnect and find the love that brought you together in the first place. I will help you understand why it doesn’t feel safe to truly express how you feel and create the safety necessary to share all of you with one another.

Being understood and respected is the foundation for a healthy and loving relationship. This can happen when we decide to truly listen to each other. As Author Dr. David Augsburger puts it “Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference.” If you'd like to repair your relationship and move toward growth and healing then please call me for a free consultation at 714-326-6578