Great Couples Counseling in Lakewood, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couple dynamics are complicated and thus require a multi-pronged approach. My goal is to focus on the improvement of intimacy,communication, and conflict/resolution. This is accomplished by not only understanding the strengths and deficits of the couples' current relationship patterns but by also coming to understand the individual experiences that each member of the couple brings to the couple dynamic. Each member of the couple has a wealth of experiences, feelings, behaviors and beliefs that were formed well before the couple was formed. Understanding the impact of those separate experiences as well as current couple dynamic creates space for understanding, recover, and healing.

Couples come in all sorts of configurations, from Mommy/baby, to employer/employee, to parent/child/adoles. and of course husbands/partners/wives. Each of these couples are tremendously intimate and are often the very place we act out, feel grave disappointments and experiences some of our highest joys. This can be an optimum place of growth for both participants. It takes courage, honesty and a willingness to look inward and outward.

Couples have come to see me for a variety of reasons throughout the years, but I find that no matter what the presenting problem may be, being able to effectively communicate with each other is vital to restoring the relationship. Often couples have a completely different style of relating to one another and resolving conflict. I work with couples to better understand their partner and I help each person to communicate in a way that they can finally be heard. It doesn’t matter what you are fighting about if the other person can’t hear what you are saying. Call 714-751-0888 so I can help you express yourself more effectively so you can stop the fighting and start the healing process.

Every relationship experiences arguments and conflict. That is an inevitable part of being in an intimate relationship. These differences do not have to undermine a relationship so long as the underlying patterns of interaction which keep these conflicts active can be understood and resolved. As a specialist in couples counseling, I seek to help a couple identify these patterns and learn how to listen with understanding while promoting the authenticity of each individual. I use an emotionally focused treatment which allows a couple to work through their conflicts while enhancing their feelings of attachment and closeness. With 32 years of experience, I have helped many couples do this.

My doctoral research was on the difference between intense/compelling & secure/comfortable romantic love experiences and I have been studying love for the past 35 years. I taught the Interpersonal Attraction/Romantic Love course at Chapman University, along with Human Sexuality & Sexual Disorders & Treatment. I am certified in Gottman Method Couples therapy, as an ASL (Gottman) Workshop Leader, and a Gottman Method Level I Teacher. I also have trained in Emotion-Focused, Imago, and Voice Dialogue approaches to give couples in relationships of all kinds the best help available in making troubled relationships good and good relationships even better.

My work with couples has mainly focused on issues revolving around the very difficult and taxing effects of infertility and how this can affect one's relationship with his/her partner. In my practice I work with couples to help them better communicate and effectively listen to what each person is experiencing so that they can move forward in a space where they feel more positively connected.

What do you hope for with your partner? In couples therapy, we improve communication, bridge differences, and promote change. People come to couples therapy at many stages of relationship: pre-marital counseling; navigating differences in time management; blending households and families; birth of a child; infidelity; divorce -- any time a couple is seeking to change behaviors that are causing pain. When a life stressor has begun to affect your partnership in an unwanted way, or if you are seeking to be heard differently by your partner, the skills you learn in couples therapy will create a more mutually satisfying relationship.

Our staff of over 25 therapists specializes in helping couples in distress. From pre-marital counseling to couples work and even marriages that have been together for years--we are ready to help. Our staff has received training from Dr. Susan Johnson, the international expert on marriage and couples therapy and can help couples get free from patterns of fighting that you can't get out of on your own. We can teach you how to get free from the gridlock of fruitless fighting, and learn how to thrive in your relationship again.

Are you feeling disconnected from your partner? Drifting apart? Constantly fighting? Leading separate lives? It would be a privilege to help you reconnect and find the love that brought you together in the first place. I will help you understand why it doesn’t feel safe to truly express how you feel and create the safety necessary to share all of you with one another.

Practice communication skills to powerfully begin resolving those angry and blaming arguments. Write brief notes about what was said and have expert training to show your partner the love you feel and need. Learn how to express disagreements as well as affection that can transform your relationship. Find how to identify and manage the emotional baggage you are bringing to each other.

I will work with you to help you overcome whatever challenge you're facing, whether it's fighting, distance, a betrayal, or lack of trust, among other challenges. I will also help you to better communicate, including changing harmful or frustrating patterns of relating to each other. The ultimate goal that I keep in mind is to help the two of you become a more loving, cooperative, trusting, and intimate couple.

Conflict and discord often are a factor of poor communication and feelings that both partners must agree in order to be compatible. This kind of thinking can result in angry standoffs that lead to a feeling that in order for one to win the their must lose. I teach couples how to communicate and understand that difference in needs does not mean incompatibility. Working towards win-win solutions can enhance your marital satisfaction and increase intimacy. I enjoy working with couples and have a good success rate. Let me help you find happiness in your marriage.

As a couple certified in couples therapy, we understand betrayal, abandonment, feeling unappreciated, ignored, misunderstood, and having the same repeated fight. We know that troubles with family, finances, and substance use can strain even the healthiest of relationships. Our work as co-therapists in the room together brings balance and fairness so you can move through the rupture and into repair. We offer unique insight into how you can manage each other and life's challenges. Can you imagine feeling connected, making mutual agreements, experiencing intimacy and getting what you need from your partner without arguing over who is right? We can help.