Great Couples Counseling in Live Oak, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Nothing means more to you than your relationship with your partner. It's why it hurts so much when you try to get close and they shut down or find some other way to pull away. Or maybe you feel suffocated, criticized, and not enough because it feels like too much is wanted from you. You're not alone. I get how important this person is to you, and want to help you to recognize your stuck push/pull pattern so that you can feel satisfied and understood in your relationship. This is also true when there are more serious problems, like affairs or addictions. As you learn what motivates you as well as your partner, you can again renew the bond of this most important relationship.

I have experience providing therapy with couples about sexual concerns, exploring poly/open relationships, and increasing communications and conflict resolution skills. I teach couples foundational communications skills, then assist them in looking at their relational patterns preventing marital satisfaction. I work together with the couple to develop and implement new ways of relating.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. While I work with all couples, I specialize in working with neuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you!

I am a Certified Gottman Therapist and use the world famous, clinically proven Gottman method in my work with you. The Gottman Method is backed by 40 years of research establishing what makes marriage succeed or fail. I bring a deep, abiding passion to helping you and your partner get back to the love that you have for each other. Using the Sound Marital House to asses your relationship strengths and weaknesses, according to the research, I customize our work together, focussing on the areas you need help and education with to restore trust, intimacy & friendship. Most people contact me for painful fighting that creates emotional and sexual distance. Learn tools to restore your relationship!

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.