Great Couples Counseling in Oakland, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Love can be stressful, frustrating and hard to maintain. It can also be passionate, fun, deeply fulfilling and wild! I utilize Somatic, trauma informed Psychotherapy and the Gottman Method to help couples identify what is and isn't working in their relationship and pattern of conflict or avoidance. By studying how you and your partner interact in the moment I will help identify where you are stuck, what causes that feeling of disconnection. During sessions you will practice, and receive helpful tools and support to move forward and begin to feel the love, support and connection that brought you together in the first place.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

It really hurts when the person you love is focused on "being right", rather than really getting you! Does your relationship create a deep pain or numbness in your heart? When we start to believe that our LEGITIMATE needs for connection will not be adequately met with our partner, it is easy to focus on our personal needs (at the expense of our partner's). A NORMAL human response to this is: nagging, petty repetitive fights, silent-treatments, numbing out, outbursts, being condescending, focusing on being right (rather than really listening). Using EFT, I FOCUS ON SHIFTING THE CULTURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP from its current negative painful cycles into being a safe place for both of you.

Couples therapy can be intimidating to start. There's a lot of anxiety that comes up for people about things getting even worse or one person being labeled as the problem or, worse yet, that it will lead to breaking up. But I have treated a great many couples over 25 years and that is almost never what happens. Although, yes, the process is sometimes very painful, I never "take sides" and blame one person in the couple and usually the couple feels better after the session. I have seen people come in with problems that made them feel like enemies and after therapy they feel like friends and lovers again. Do call for couples therapy now and don't let the problems keep on getting worse.

Using a combination of Gottman Method Couples Therapy as well as Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Couples therapy, I will help you and your partner identify your problem areas and negative cycles that keep you stuck and support your relationship moving back into a pattern of ease and intimacy. We will support increased core emotion expression, identification of each individual's needs, breaking down old negative habits, and reconstructing new habits that will keep your connection strong for the long term. Let's discuss your needs today in a free consultation.

In my Couples Counseling work I help partners build on the strengths of their relationship while we work together to create new skills for communicating and solving problems. My approach is collaborative and I teach each partner to learn how to listen and hear what the other is expressing and needing as well as ways to be heard and understood better. I provide a safe place where difficult problems can be discussed and solutions explored and practiced so that couples can better resolve ongoing problems.

All relationships have problems but how we address them shows whether we will have healthy relationships or not. Couples Counseling can help all couples whether you're dating, in a long-term relationship, living together or been married for years. Having another person that is neutral and non-judgemental can help both of you discover new ways to communicate in a healthy manner and learn ways to safely share your feelings and feeling less vulnerable. Take the first step to have a balanced and healthy relationship with each other.

All couples face challenges in a relationship. What makes some relationships last and others that don't is a combination of communication skills and commitment to making the marriage work. Many marriages test people to their limit, but that doesn't mean it's a bad marriage. If you are able to hang in there and work with a trusted professional, you can expand and grow into a more loving and nurturing person.

Loving, successful relationships need to be carefully and skillfully nurtured in the following five areas: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, Sexual, Financial. Couples who are ready to do ongoing work on their relationships are richly rewarded with a loving, meaningful and joyful life together. Committed relationships that have the possibility of morphing into long term relationships benefit greatly by being guided by the Gottman research on relationships as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).