Great Couples Counseling in Moraga, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

I work with couples that are struggling to connect emotionally, have issues with communication, and want to create new relational dynamics that increase their connection. My approach is warm and collaborative and I work hard to carefully listen to each person to provide the therapeutic interventions necessary to increase understanding, communication, mutual interest, curiosity, and awareness. In my experience couples enter treatment with varying degrees of ambivalence and desire for change. I work hard to create a safe environment to explore each persons concerns and desires so we can better collaborate towards working together to generate movement and change.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. While I work with all couples, I specialize in working with neuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you!

Relationships are the most complicated, yet most rewarding things in life. They make us feel excited, happy, and high on life one minute while maintaining the ability bring us pain, frustration, and emotional distress the next. For all the beauty that comes with companionship and commitment, there are also times when you have to sacrifice things you may not want to for the sake of the relationship. Furthermore, maintaining one’s own identity while growing with another person can be a lot to manage. I help couples come to a much more meaningful understanding of how each person is showing up in the relationship so that they can make healthier choices towards a more fulfilling future together.

All couples face challenges in a relationship. What makes some relationships last and others that don't is a combination of communication skills and commitment to making the marriage work. Many marriages test people to their limit, but that doesn't mean it's a bad marriage. If you are able to hang in there and work with a trusted professional, you can expand and grow into a more loving and nurturing person.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

I thoroughly enjoy aiding couples in their ability to communicate with one another so they can fully enjoy the potential of their marriage/relationship. Facilitating deeper understanding in your personal feelings and workings and those of your partner, enable you as a couple to grow closer & stronger. It builds capacity to face adversity, for example past trauma.

I provide couples counseling which can be beneficial whether you are married or in a long term partnership. Therapy can be helpful for all couples to open up communication, gain mutual understanding and have a safe place to be vulnerable. Engaging in couples therapy can valuable whether there is a specific issue needing focus or just the desire to gain better communication. I look forward to supporting through with this process.

Tired of the same old arguments? Sad or even scared about the growing disconnect? Want to change but can't seem to stop the same old cycle from happening again and again? Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) transforms couples in a powerfully and emotionally engaging way , and is now considered one of the best validated couples interventions approach by leading experts all over the country. So often all of our arguments or disconnects have at their core a desire to know, "Are you there for me?" Or, " Do I really matter to you?" EFT addresses the fears that keep us apart and allows us to move close in ways that beautifully work. To learn more please visit my website right now.

In working with couples, I recommend holding a separate individual session with each partner. That allows me to understand the historical background that each partner brings to the relationship and how that impacts their attitudes and patterns of behavior. That process encourages each partner to honestly identify their perception of the conflict without fear of recrimination from their partner. I can then bring both partners together and help them understand aspects of their relationship that underlie their conflicts. We work together to implement strategies which support the goal of resolving their problems and improving the quality of their communication and their relationship.

One of my favorite subspecialties is working with couples. This comes out of my own experience of having been happily married for 35 years, and knowing that relationships are the crucible of transformation. Nothing in my life has returned more reward and more wisdom than the process of struggling along with my wife to figure out how to be in relationship with another human being. Relationships involve merging, separating, leading, following, and getting into a state of attunement. Most of us were not born knowing how to do these things. Couples therapy becomes an exciting exploration of these spiritual skills. After abandoning blame and shame we can actually be very happy together!

Dr. Goodwin finds working with couples to be very rewarding. She uses an eclectic, research-based approach which focuses on increasing insight and compassion to both the self and the other partner, (re)building friendship, and teaching behaviors that improve communication and connection. She believes in building on couples and individual strengths. Her approach is active, warm, and non-judgmental. Dr. Goodwin also has experience working with couples around sexual issues, an important aspect of many relationships. Dr. Goodwin also enjoys working with LGTBQ couples and individuals.

My work focuses on a combination of skills training in how happy couples talk and argue, and the creation of safety and opportunities to create "heart-to-heart" conversations to restore and revitalize intimacy in your relationship. It is these two approaches that are supported convincingly by a large body of research, and it requires a therapist who acts as coach and referee. I don't let couples fight their same old fights in my office - the whole point is to get past the same old arguments and have the deeper and more useful conversations that have been sidetracked.

I am certified in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy which is based on 30 years of research into what works for couples. 90% of couples who go through Emotionally Focused Therapy report an improvement in their relationship. Sometimes it can seem like the same argument happens over and over, even though the topic might seem different. Often partners don't feel that they are understood or heard. I help couples understand, see, and hear their own and their partner's more vulnerable feelings which underlie the stuck pattern of arguments. The closeness you used to have can be regained and is often improved as you understand and know each other better than you ever did before

I focus on authenticity in my practice, and for me this is especially helpful when it comes to couples work. That most problems in relationships come from people being afraid to fully reveal themselves to their partners, for fear they won't be fully accepted and loved. And that by working on open and honest communication tools, and how to really share the depth of their beings with each other, we can create relationships of real intimacy that are healthy and nourishing.

So much of what makes a couple successful comes from careful listening and clearly communicating wants, needs and experience. It is easy to fall into the trap of making incorrect assumptions, letting misunderstandings fester and forgetting what you loved about your partner in the first place! The benefit of working with me is that I can provide the safe space to explore and fix how you might be organizing around each other in a way that results in frustration, confusion and anger. We can work with each other and get back on track!

Couples therapy can be intimidating to start. There's a lot of anxiety that comes up for people about things getting even worse or one person being labeled as the problem or, worse yet, that it will lead to breaking up. But I have treated a great many couples over 25 years and that is almost never what happens. Although, yes, the process is sometimes very painful, I never "take sides" and blame one person in the couple and usually the couple feels better after the session. I have seen people come in with problems that made them feel like enemies and after therapy they feel like friends and lovers again. Do call for couples therapy now and don't let the problems keep on getting worse.

Are you dating and having problems in communication and other areas? Getting counseling while you are in the dating phase can prevent you from developing unhealthy habits that keep you from moving to the next level in your relationship. Couples Counseling can help you learn those skills needed to enhance your relationship.

Issues that can be worked on in couples counseling often stem from conscious and unconscious assumptions and expectations that each person has about the other. The individual sees the other through the lens of their upbringing and relationship history. I help couples unpack the complex and often tangled web of how each person is understood and misunderstood in the eyes of the other. In doing so, each partner can have a deeper understanding of themselves and their partner, generating compassion, clearer communication, and emotional space from pressing issues.

Are you trapped in destructive cycles of anger and blame? Have you lost trust because of an affair? Are you avoiding your partner or feeling disengaged? Is it hard for you to have real conversations or solve problems together? I will help you untangle your painful negative cycles of communication and build new stronger connections. You can learn to have power over that cycle by learning your triggers and undoing them. You will learn about the roots of the cycle learned in early relationships. Call, text or email me to set an appointment.

Couples typically do not seek counseling until there is a major break down in their relationship and hope to find a counselor to "fix" their problems. Resolving your issues is not my goal as a counselor--my goal is to help you and your partner learn and develop new ways to communicate which will allow you two to resolve your own issues together as a couple, both during and after therapy. I aim to help you and your partner develop long-term skills which you can use for years to come.

I specialize in working with couples struggling with a wide range of issues. From problems with communication and feeling connected, to parenting, affair recovery and just learning not to take the relationship for granted anymore, therapy can make a big difference. Like any other living thing, a partnership is a dynamic, growing thing that needs attention and to be nurtured and cared for. Couples therapy is an effective way to learn how to identify and express your own needs at the same time hearing, understanding, and meeting your partners needs. I have helped many couples overcome seemingly impossible challenges and go on to build happy, healthy, more satisfying relationships that last!

As we know, romantic relationships can bring out the best and worst of us. Working with couples involves being open to identifying and experiencing those parts of ourselves that get triggered. In this way, we allow the relationship to be an opportunity for working through patterns that block intimacy and develop new ways of being that deepen communication, allow for more honest, open expression and enable each partner to be a healing agent for the other. This is a pathway of healing and growth- a vehicle for enhancing capacity for love (including self-love) and soul connection.

I will work with you at whatever stage you are in as a couple. You will develop better communication skills. I will help you both get to a place of repair and mutual understanding. We will look at what supports forgiveness and healing. You will become stronger and more connected as a couple. I will help educate you as to what contributes to a healthy relationship. I will coach and guide you as you take risks and try new ways of communicating.

I approach couples counseling from a collaborative stance that offers tangible results from the first session. My work empowers couples in distress to deeply understand and overcome the painful cycles of interaction between partners, as well as to address and heal these cycles' root causes. From there I help couples nurture and develop ever greater degrees of trust, intimacy and love between each other. I am passionate about my work with couples and believe deeply in the healing power of effective therapy.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php