Family Counseling Services in Moraga, CA.

Family counseling is designed to strengthen the bonds within the relationship. Many times families will be struggling with day-to-day living (small problems will start to add up to larger problems). We tend to fall into ruts of the way we do things and sometimes that creates resentments and conflict that are not communicated in a way that helps others within the family to understand your concerns. By bringing everyone together. we can work on communication, division of labor, finances, and other issues that may be making home life not the sanctuary that we all want our homes to be.

The most frequent family issues I see are problems with parenting (agreeing on limits/ consequences, either parent feeling supported by the other), difficulty with issues of adolescence (self-injury, eating disorder, suicidality, substance abuse, abusive relationships, bullying), and arguing/ yelling at one another. Any of these issues are difficult to handle; often times they occur as a bundle of issues. This can feel overwhelming to both parent and child. The whole system suffers and feelings of fear, hopelessness, guilt, anger, and resentment are free-floating with no useful direction. We will find strategies that work for your family so that you enjoy one another again.

Family life if complicated. Not only do we bring our own baggage to the relationship but all of the other family members bring theirs too. Many of the issues that come up are communications issues and many are due to our nervous systems being either on hyper alert or shut down from past traumas and an overaccumulation of daily strresses. Working as a team we build on the strengths of the couple/family and we also tease apart the less functional areas to understand them more fully. Then we devise a plan for working with the issues. That might involve working as a couple/family or it might involve individual session to resolve whatever issues we each bring into our relationships.

Family is the most important thing. However, sometimes stress and life transitions cause conflict and distress. Family members sometimes lose connection with each other. Our approach to resolving conflict and disconnection is heart-felt and based upon the idea that we all need to be connected to out loved ones. We believe all behavior makes sense and that if you get at the underlying needs and feelings propelling a behavior, you can resolve the issue. We help families repair ruptures by using empathic client centered interventions, which open up communication so that it is much fuller and deeper opening up a new dimension for the family. The benefit is a happy and cohesive family unit.

Having your family all in one room talking openly about personal issues with a therapist may sound like the worst possible way to spend an hour. Families are complicated and sometimes communication can almost completely break down. I can help each member of your family to feel heard and understood. By listening deeply to your past and present personal family history we can collaborate to make meaningful links and identify where communication might be breaking down. By creating effective communication we can generate movement around family issues and dynamics that may have felt stuck or impossible to understand. My style is warm, nonjudgmental, and active.

Issues arise in a family for a multitude of reasons, both big and small. In individual or marriage/couples counseling, the individual or parental unit learns skills to apply in their everyday life, including at home. In family therapy, I will work with your family and your values to help you resolve issues in a collaborative, effective and structured manner. I will work with you and your family in developing communication skills that allow each member of the family to express his/her needs in an open and honest way. Because we work within your family's value-system, the family unit learns and develops these skills together, knowing their thoughts and needs were acknowledged and respected

I help families work through their struggles, differences, and patterns by getting each member to focus on how the struggles, fights, and cycles happen. I help families tune into their patterns while exploring the collective and individual meaning behind those patterns. I start by getting a general feel for the dynamic by observing how you function. Then I try to guide discussion in very simple and concrete ways so that each member can see how they are interacting with the larger dynamic. This allows opportunity for a new perspective while creating the space for change and growth. I will work with you in discovering how you and your family affect each other so that you can grow together.

Family therapy is usually called for when families are in transition such as the addition of new family member, launching of a child, or when there is grief & loss or crisis. It is during this times when the family needs to be adaptable, but problems arise when the family fails to adapt to the changes. I will assess the family relational dynamics, challenge them to learn new ways of relating to each other and adapt to the changes. I give each member in therapy a voice to speak and share their needs, wants, and desires. They learn how to communicate and problem solve effectively. I do provide a free consultation, if clients ask me.

One of my main specialities is family counseling. I work with families of all varieties; sisters, fathers, daughters sons, mothers, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or your "family of choice" etc. I also work with business associates. Straight as well as members of the LBGTQ community. I enjoy this work immensely and have helped many families find more closeness, safety, compassion, ease and care for each other. No matter how old and deep the problems are in your relationship, I can help you finally move past these issues for good.

Families come to therapy feeling stuck in repetitive patterns of negative interaction. Oftentimes one or more families members feel like they have become the "scapegoat" for the family's problems and are fearful of entering therapy, concerned that doing so will only further cement that role for them. My approach to family therapy helps avoid that dynamic by not taking sides, but rather giving all members an equal voice, and helping each person feel respected and heard. At the same time, I understand that a parent's role is different than a child's, and I work to empower parents to have more "healthy authority" with their children. I am trained in Multi-dimensional Family Therapy (MDFT).

I provide family therapy for a variety of families including those with young children, teens and young adults. I help by having everyone present in the session to hear each other and to support each family member in being heard and understood. I help each person understand the underlying feelings that are often not seen, but have an impact when they are expressed as frustration or anger. Understanding each other to improve the closeness between family members can help resolve conflicts and provide a sense of safety and security.

I found that the skills that my Couples learn from me: how to speak and listen in a way that allows real intimacy to digest on the gut level is extremely useful in working with families. Many times family members love each other but that love does not digest. Often there is a child or teenager that is acting out and when the parents learn how to connect with their child on a deeper level, the need for the acting out behaviors goes away. Parents sometimes need help being on the same team to BOTH provide the necessary structure (rules) AND do it in a way so the child (or teen) digests the love. Your children appreciate the rules from a loving team (even if they pretend they hate them)!

Often in families there are concerns or issues that seem hard to talk about. Family therapy provides a safe space for your family to begin speaking, in an honest way, about whats upsetting or causing pain in the entire system. Just speaking to the pain is often a relief by itself for many families! Together, we will work towards creating optimal communication, care and health in your family as we discuss the more painful and challenging experiences in your family.