Great Couples Counseling in Rancho Palos Verdes, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Do you envision a loving, respectful relationship with your partner? Would you like to strengthen your bond & gain a better understanding of your spouse? Are you interested in avoiding divorce & keeping your family together? I have some ways to help. In session I help couples improve communication, so that each person in the relationship feels heard, & solutions are fair & effective. I help you understand & respect your partner’s perspective & develop ways to compromise, to improve your relationship, without compromising your personal values. I also teach couples ways to discuss issues without arguments, establish fair rules and boundaries, & make your relationship rewarding and fun.

Couples come into counseling for various problems. Couples therapy can be very helpful to identify negative patterns of behavior which cause unhappiness, it also can point our strengths in the relationship which are causing a great deal of satisfaction in the relationship. I work from a Christian based Gottman model to help couples to quickly determine what is going wrong for them and help them to solve these issues and have the happy relationship they desire.

I specialize in couples and marriage counseling. My most successful approach involves helping couples identify and then change circular patterns of interacting with each other. To change these patterns, I teach new effective communication skills as well as new problem-solving skills in a 9-step program called "Conflict to Connection."

The main thing I notice couples coming in for is to work on trust issues, communication problems, and lack of intimacy within the relationship. This can manifest into anger, affairs, shutting down, and a number of other behaviors. I work with couples FIRST on what does work, so that they can build upon skills they already possess within their relationship. 2: Teaching basic listening skills so that partners feel heard. 3: Teaching the couples how to communicate without attacking. 4: implementing those skills at home. Therapy is much more complex than this, and there are many more aspects of communication, but building strengths is very important to relationship success.

How do you rate your partner? Do you just KNOW your relationship could be better? With Kevin Bergen, you'll find a specialist who can get you over your hurdles to relationship bliss. Are you tired of arguing? Is trust a problem now? Has one of you checked out of the relationship? Feeling alone or more like roommates? Kevin understands what you're feeling. He understands each of you equally, he'll affirm you when your partner is off track, and kick your butt when it's you who's out of line. If you want understanding and honesty, call Kevin for your couple's needs.

Is this you? All we do is fight! It seems like we never hear each other and neither of us listens anymore! It is so frustrating I do not want to come home and try. I have been successfully helping couples to develop the tools necessary to communicate effectively for more than 20 years. Having disagreements is not unusual. Learning how to resolve disagreements is a key element to healthy relationships. Conflict resolution is about learning to fight fairly by listening in an atmosphere of Respect, Trust, Safety and love and not placing my desire to be right over the relationship.

Relationships are an area where young adults can struggle. Wanting to create lasting bonds, they don't always think about who is a good match for them, given their family values, and plans for their life. Past failed relationships can also leave sensitive young adults hesitant to open their hearts and try to find love again. I help sensitive young adults discover what it takes to create the loving relationship they've always dreamed of.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

My approach is to help each partner see clearly where s/he stands, what s/he stands for, and what meaning the relationship holds. How do these values come into play in the relationship? How do our own expectations, and those of society at large, influence the relationship? Often, understanding the role of a relationship in our own lives reveals possible ways forward. Sometimes, it shows us that moving forward might not be what we want to do.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Couples counseling can be helpful to any relationship looking to grow and improve skills to make your relationship thrive. If you are just starting out and it's premarital therapy you are looking for, or you are on the brink of the relationship ending, couples counseling can help. It will provide an outside perspective and increase your ability to interact in ways that are more productive and enjoyable. Even if your relationship is going great, there is always something to learn about your partner in couples counseling.

When couples wish to work through their relationship difficulties, or do premarital couples therapy, they will find my office to be a safe, nonjudmental, and encouraging space. You will colaborate with your spouse, and prioritize issues you'd like to discuss. You will explore your own ability for acceptance and tolerance of your spouse's behavior. We will work together on communication skills, and styles, we'll try to soften the dialogue. We'll learn about problem solving skills with which husband and wife are heard. If there are sexual problems, I have experience in treating sex addiction, internet pornography addiction, and the affect of extended families on your relationship.

Couples therapy is about breaking painful cycles and rediscovering connection. Many couples come to me feeling stuck in the same arguments, exhausted by disconnection, or longing to feel like true partners again. I help couples identify hidden patterns, improve communication, and smooth out subtle misunderstandings that erode trust. With a direct but compassionate approach, I provide tools to rebuild closeness and strengthen teamwork. The goal is not blame, but clarity and connection—so couples leave therapy with greater trust, intimacy, and lasting calm in their relationship.