Great Couples Counseling in Santa Rosa, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Relationship problems are one of the most common causes of distress and unhappiness around! We seek comfort, security, companionship, connection, sexual fulfillment in our relationships. When there is a problem, it can feel like our very survival is at stake! I help couples to reconnect in a loving way, so they experience greater joy and happiness with one another. I use a variey of benefical techniques to help you work through your problems. You learn to really listen and tune into one another through a special communication process I developed. You also learn to identify and let go of old baggage that gets in the way of your connecting.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. I specialize in working with affairs and broken trust, abgtneuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you

Have you gotten to place with your partner that feels like you are just trying to "get through another day"? Or maybe you are afraid you are heading that direction? We are all relational beings that are continuously influencing and being influenced by others. Now, if the person at the store has an impact on you, imagine how much more impact your partner has! This is why I am passionate about investing in our relationships so that we can start enjoying our every day life instead of just getting through it. I use couples emotional focused therapy and principles from the Gottman method to help couples live the relationship they always dreamed of.

My passion is helping couples and individuals see, understand, and feel the cycle of conflict that’s keeping them stuck in disconnection, frustration, and unhappiness and teach them new ways to interact with each other - ways that lead to connection, emotional safety, belonging, trust, and love. I am not a sit-back-and-listen therapist. I consider myself a process consultant. I want to see you get the results you want, and I will guide you in an active, warm, loving and direct way to help you have a different kind of conversation than you’ve been able to have with your partner before. I love helping love thrive!

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

Couples counseling has been a passion of mine, and has been one of my top two specialties for 13 years now. I blend attachment theory with a few other amazing modalities into a process that I call "Conscious Love." Conscious Love is based on the concept that we tend to come together with a romantic partner who will trigger our core wound and bring to our attention to where we need healing. It's an opportunity for deepening love (and sex gets better too!) as you learn to self nurture and also become a better nurturer to your partner. I teach couples how to become a team to fight the patterns that are eroding their relationship via mindfulness, inner healing/soul work, and nurturing talks.

Even with well-meant intentions to find one another or to create harmony in your relationship, partners fall into repeating negative patterns which can include angry pleading, accusation, defensiveness or cold withdrawal. This is painful. I help you to understand how you get stuck and then guide you through new emotional experiences which stop the old negative patterns and help you to find safety and feel connected and in love again. I specialize in couples therapy. I have over 27 years working with couples and many hours of training specific to helping couples. I am certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples (EFT), an evidence-based, empirically validated approach.

I provide couples counseling, marriage counseling, pre-marital and blended family couples counseling. I use Gottman principals and emotional focused therapy approaches in helping you build stronger connections, foster effective communication, and overall create lives built and aligned together. For those that would like Christian couples counseling we will integrate biblical principals alongside therapeutic interventions.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Choosing to share our lives with someone can be a beautiful but challenging experience. Everyday life can rob you of the joy that you felt at the beginning of the relationship or maybe larger stressors happen and communication can be hard. Let's work together to find solutions to the stressors, increase communication, and find joy in the relationship. If you decide that the relationship is no longer a healthy one for you and instead you and your partner need support in separating, that is something I can also support with. A healthy divorce, separation, or breakup is better than an unhealthy relationship.