Great Couples Counseling in Stanton, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

I am passionate about working with couples in whatever stage of relationship they find themselves. I am honored to walk alongside a couple whether they are seeking to connect or reconnect, I consider it a privilege to a part of that process. I have recieved training in Emotionally Focused Therapy(EFT) and I am excited about this approach to working with couples. EFT is backed by valid research and live testimonies of those who have recieved it. EFT has been hailed as the most effective approach to helping couples lead healthier, happier more connected lives.

I believe that good relationships are built on secure attachments, ones that are engaged and emotionally responsive to one another. In my experience working with couples, and research supports this idea as well, a combination of strategies that teach them to be more accepting of each other while at the same time working to change some of their assumptions and automatic behaviors are at the root of change. I see this in my private practice with partners attacking, often forgetting what brought them together in the first place; I guide them back into each other's arms, and back into a safety zone with a combination of attachment and communication techniques that have shown to be effective.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Couples come in all sorts of configurations, from Mommy/baby, to employer/employee, to parent/child/adoles. and of course husbands/partners/wives. Each of these couples are tremendously intimate and are often the very place we act out, feel grave disappointments and experiences some of our highest joys. This can be an optimum place of growth for both participants. It takes courage, honesty and a willingness to look inward and outward.

Is your perception of your partner one that brings you calmness and strength, or agitation and fear? I help couples to remember their forgotten longing. As partners, we need to be responsible for the type of energy we bring into the relationship. Through counseling, I help couples change their emotional negativity, in whatever form it takes, by focusing on extreme compassion for your partner's issues. Catch your relationship before it feels beyond fixable.

I specialize in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a a highly effective method for healing relationships. Research has shown that 70-75% of couples who participate in EFT become closer and more intimate in their relationship, and 90% show significant improvements. As a trained EFT therapist, I am more interested in exploring the patterns and cycles that you get stuck in when facing conflict. How do you handle conflict? Do you become angry and lash out with your words, or do you shut down and tune out (or leave). How does your partner respond to you during these times? It is the dance between you that I am interested in exploring. Once we identify the dance, then we can work at change.

My goal is to help the couple learn how to love each other well. We work on learning how to express their needs and desires and also how to give to the other in the way that they need. I require homework assignments to develop intimacy and passion on a daily basis. We work on sexuality and physical closeness. Communication, anger management, roles and responsibiliteis are all addressed as needed. I am a nationally touring group counselor for New Life Ministries couple conventions. I have a hugs bag of tools and techniques as well as experience in leading couple retreats. Couples are my specialty.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

Being understood and respected is the foundation for a healthy and loving relationship. This can happen when we decide to truly listen to each other. As Author Dr. David Augsburger puts it “Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference.” If you'd like to repair your relationship and move toward growth and healing then please call me for a free consultation at 714-326-6578