Great Couples Counseling in Valinda, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples come into counseling for various problems. Couples therapy can be very helpful to identify negative patterns of behavior which cause unhappiness, it also can point our strengths in the relationship which are causing a great deal of satisfaction in the relationship. I work from a Christian based Gottman model to help couples to quickly determine what is going wrong for them and help them to solve these issues and have the happy relationship they desire.

Many people can benefit from couples therapy sessions, even if their relationships do not have obvious problems. People often wait until very late in the game before seeking help, often times after one or both have already decided to end the relationship. Seeking the help of a psychologist can strengthen the behavioral and emotional bonds that keep couples together. Couples therapy changes the way that couples behave with each other. Sessions focus on improving interactions and building resilience. By focusing on the “Three C’s” of intimacy (closeness, communication, and commitment), partners learn how to achieve intimacy with their romantic partners rather than isolation

Couples' therapy is a particular love of mine. The bond between intimate partners is compelling, powerful and hard-wired for us mammals, and the pain of missing our connections with one another is deep. Together, we can discover the patterns that don't work, and then join to find ways to reach out and respond to one another that bring security and joy.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Whether you are married, engaged, dating and/or living together, Couple's therapy can help you learn to communicate in a more loving and healthy way. Sometimes couples get lost the cycle of their continued arguments, and forget how to reach out to the other. If you as an individual or you and your partner would like to learn how to communicate more effectively, couple's therapy can help greatly. My office is located at 4405 Riverside Drive, 105 Burbank I work evenings until 9.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

Couples therapy should not be about hashing over old wounds. Getting what you want from a relationship involves good communication and active listening, tolerance and forgiveness, emotional intelligence, having common goals and working cooperatively and, like all the bets things in life, presents us with a challenge. Relationships can be hard work but the work is rewarding and life-enhancing. I love to work with couples who are committed to improving their future rather than reliving their past.

The general goal is to reduce conflict and increase intimacy. In the safety of therapy, and with a trained professional as a third party, you each will have the opportunity to learn about yourself in depth, in addition to gaining insights into the complex dynamics of your relationship. The increasing of knowledge, communication skills, and relational tools can combine to create the intimacy and connection that is so necessary in marriage.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

My goal is to help the couple learn how to love each other well. We work on learning how to express their needs and desires and also how to give to the other in the way that they need. I require homework assignments to develop intimacy and passion on a daily basis. We work on sexuality and physical closeness. Communication, anger management, roles and responsibiliteis are all addressed as needed. I am a nationally touring group counselor for New Life Ministries couple conventions. I have a hugs bag of tools and techniques as well as experience in leading couple retreats. Couples are my specialty.

In couples counseling we will explore the strengths each of you brings to your relationship and how these contribute to the overall health of your relationship together. We will work to understand your contributions and barriers to making your relationship work. The focus will remain on your goals for the relationship with the understanding that these may change as we learn more about each parties level of contribution. I encourage honesty between both parties. You will be encouraged to speak directly with one another to work toward strengthening your communication skills by clarifying the meaning and quality of the words you choose when speaking with your partner.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php