Family Counseling Services in Seaside, CA.

As a family therapist, trained in the modality of family systems, I work with the entire family and sometimes will see individual members, couples, the children, the teens and then bring all family members back together for joint sessions, depending on what will serve all the most at any given times. Often times families need to regain the trust and remember their love for one another which can be achieved through family sessions in which every one has a chance to speak honestly, respectfully and to be truly heard in a safe and comfortable environment with the help of a skilled therapist.

When communication inside a family breaks down, people slip into fixed roles and stop saying what they truly feel, often to keep the peace. Over time that silence breeds distance and resentment. In our work, we slow things down so each member can actually be understood, while paying attention to the deeper currents underneath the friction — the unspoken expectations, old hurts, and recurring scripts that drive conflict on every side. As those come to light, family members begin to hear one another differently, and situations that felt stuck start to move. I hold space for everyone fairly, without judgment. I'm confident we can rebuild trust and care in your family.

When I work with the family, the approach is often related to understanding the quality of parenting and the quality of attachment to the children. I will help each family member understand their role within the family responsibilities. We will discuss and identify those roles, and the expectations. We will develop ways for you to better cope and manage painful situations. We will work together to improve communication during difficult times. We will work at redirecting negative thinking in a positive direction.

When working with children and youth, the therapist cannot ignore the family system in which the child lives. I work with parents in multiple ways to help support youth in treatment, which may include separate parent sessions, co-parenting sessions, systemic family therapy, or Filial Therapy, a play therapy practice that coaches and guides parents in special play sessions with their child to decrease unwanted behaviors, improve relationships and communication, increase the child's emotional vocabulary, and increase the child's self-esteem.

I use a family systems approach in my therapy, so having family members in the room, in my opinion, is the most efficient route towards healing and growth in individuals. I encourage clients to address relationships that are causing distress in their lives and work towards healthy differentiation of self. This can be done in individual therapy as well, but is more effective when all members of the relationship are present.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Counseling for children and teens, is primarily accomplished within the context of family therapy, where mom, dad, siblings or others may be involved in various sessions. Families today find themselves facing issues that in past generations were nearly non-existent. With the divorce rate still raging at 50% for first marriages, and 70-80% for subsequent marriages, the American family unit is struggling. Divorce Recovery, Blending Families with step-parents and step-siblings of all sorts, Parenting Issues, and School Issues for the children, are just a few Family Therapy concerns. The goal here is to strengthen the family unit with bonding and security. See my webpage on Therapy/Family