Great Couples Counseling in West Chicago, IL. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples counseling can be scary, not knowing what to expect. I take the time to make sure that each person feels understood. Often this is what people want the most in order to feel resolve issues and feel closer. Secondly, people want to stay calm but do not always know how. Thirdly, most prefer creative proposals to solve problems versus debates. Having a communication coach, and an understanding of how your past affects the present can make the difference. We also provide premarital assessments and counseling.

I use a systems approach to couples and family therapy and often explore the communication patterns, roles, and rules of the couple or family. I help couples examine the interactions and/or dynamics of the relationship that are working and the patterns and/or interactions that are not. As opposed to continuing to blame his/her partner, I ask individuals to assess his/her part of the difficulties in the relationship and help them identify areas that he/she can work on to improve their relationship. Ultimately, the only thing one has control over is his/her own behavior or his/her part of the problem in the relationship.

Some of my clients call it a gift. I know it is my passion. Couples counseling is a perfect fit for me. I get energized whenever a new couple comes to see me. As a communication, relational specialist, I get to know my couples individually and as a couple by taking time to carefully listen and understand them. This allows me the opportunity to help them understand each other and where they are likely stuck in their relationship. Once I identify the negative pattern, I assist the couple in shifting the pattern into one that is mutually respectful, caring, accommodating, and enriching. As a result of my extensive couples work I am currently writing a book on respectful relationships.

Accepting and celebrating the differences that make up a couple can bring joy to any relationship. Validating emotions and not having to understand them reduces the amount of fighting that will take place. Watching for areas of stonewalling, contempt, defensiveness and criticism will allow communication to continue and not shut someone down or up. Learning how to repair a relationship on a daily bases will keep it on the road for many years.

Many issues bring a couple to seek counseling such as communication issues, cheating/trust issues, constantly fighting, wanting to improve whats already good, and many more. My approach includes working with both of you to help you learn new ideas and skills to improve your relationship. My goal is not to take sides but instead to help each of you understand your partners perspective even if you don't agree with it.

Couples counseling can be beneficial to any couple in a committed relationship. If both partners are willing to participate, counseling can be effective regardless of sexual orientation, age, race or length of time spent together. Couples will benefit from tracking progress as it helps to promote emotional awareness, communication, and healthy changes in behavior. Couples counseling can benefit clients dealing with trust issues, financial burdens, resentment/unresolved issues, infidelity, transition phases and countless other challenges effecting the relationship.

In the stress of daily life and struggles, couples often forget why they love each other. They lose perspective and only feel anger and hopelessness. This is not what God wants for your relationship. Couples therapy involves looking at the communication patterns and baggage that keeps you stuck but will also help you remember and regain the love and understanding for the one you love.

Most therapists are scared of providing couples counseling because it is difficult remaining unbiased towards two people who are in the throes of high conflict. However, I love it and it is my favorite type of counseling to provide. In my experience I have found most couples get caught up in the details of life and begin fighting to be right instead of fighting for each other. Instead of focusing on what they need to hear they become consumed over how their partner has wronged them. I focus on restoring reconciling the relationship to a place that is mutually beneficial for each partner using evidence based interventions from CBT, The Gottman Method, Bowen Family Systems, and ACT.

There are many different types of couples with whom I work - Traditional, Re-Married After Being Widowed, Step-Families, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender. Each couple and each relationship is special and unique. Therefore, the strategies we use to improve, change or dissolve/uncouple the relationship will be distinct for each pair of partners and will be based on the partners' goals.

We can help you create and sustain a close, honest and mutually satisfying relationship you deserve. Whether you are struggling with profoundly serious relational patterns, sexual challenges, communication problems, or just a few bumps in your road, our method of couples counseling can move you from pain, silence or anger to passion, restoration and love. Use the menu as ideas to discuss with your therapist your specific desires and goals to create the relationship you want. There is no problem too difficult, too deep, or too ingrained that cannot benefit from counseling. No matter what stage in your relationship, from the first spark to healing ongoing wounds we can help. Communication Therapy All couples create negative patterns of communication...(view profile to read more)

Being in a couple is a dream-come-true for most individuals. Yet, when the romance, over time (generally 6 months to 2 years), melds into the routine, lovers feel lost, lonely, and long for the past. What does this pattern mean on the developmental, life-long path of a couple? Feeling attracted is Step 1. Making a commitment to each other is Step 2. Disillusionment is Step 3 before you (Step 4) shake up your beliefs about a "happy marriage." How could you and your partner rejuvenate and inspire your commitment? I can help you understand the Steps with powerful ideas for you to start applying today. If you spouse isn't ready, you can lead the way!

I recognize that each couple is unique, in their approach to life and to each other. I would focus on their strengths, especially as work on their problematic areas began. I encourage open communication but discourage name calling; I also encourage the use of "I feel" statements. I would be interested in their individual life histories in that the baggage we bring to relationships cannot be removed, but responses to behavior can be altered. And sometimes awareness of why an individual acts and/or feels a certain way can be quite helpful.

What are the barriers to your individual and shared experience of life? What are the factors that can best aid you in achieving your desire for a harmonious union in your relationship. Frequently communication is a starting point that reflects individual challenges in effectively addressing emotional needs, forms of co-dependency, and long-standing ineffective habits. Working from treatment methods informed by the treatment theories of John Gottman, I seek to help clients learn to speak and interact in ways that reflect their vision for the relationship and not the unexamined habits of the past.