Anger Management and Counseling in Kearny, NJ.

Sometimes anger is a response to feeling misunderstood: you cannot believe that the other person does not see what is evident to you. At other times, anger is an expression of frustration because you cannot attain a goal or you are prevented (by others or by life situations) from reaching a desired landmark in your life. As a therapist, I will help you understand what is fueling your anger, and once you get a better sense of this, you will be able use emotional energy to deal with the underlying personal frustration instead of wasting it in staying angry.

Anger is a universal emotion. Anger that results in aggressive behaviors, acting out, or is interfering with living a healthy lifestyle is problematic. I will help you learn techniques to manage your angry feelings by working with you in identifying and modifying the thoughts you have that lead to angry behavior. As a result, you will learn healthier ways of coping with the triggers of your anger, and experience healthier ways of being .

Children and adolescents don’t usually say, “I’m having trouble with my anger right now and I need help coping”. They show us they’re experiencing overwhelming feelings with their actions and behaviors. Whether your child or teen is experiencing frequent tantrums or meltdowns or just difficulty regulating their emotions, I can help. I have extensive experience working with children and adolescents in both outpatient and school settings. Using play therapy, creative modalities, and cognitive behavioral therapy, I can help children and teens to communicate, make sense of their feelings, and begin to gain control over them so that they can overcome what’s standing in their way of happiness.

We feel anger because we feel that something is not fair, something is not working out the way we thought it should, our boundaries have been crossed, or we feel we have been treated badly, or missed out. Anger can be frustrating if you don't know how to address the underlying issue. I specialize in helping those whose anger is related to social anxiety, isolation, bullying, harassment or lack of important social skills.

I believe children must first want to learn and perfect anger management. I have developed techniques to motivate the child or teen to develop a value system of respectful behavior toward others. Once this is achieved anger management skills can easily be obtained. Without a change in attitude and values, anger management training will fail because the child lacks the motivation to practice such techniques.

Anger Management Therapy will include learning new ways of communication and self-expression. Using DBT and Internal Family Systems approach will allow for a balance in learning more about triggers to anger and that will result in more effective ways to manage these intense feelings. Results will be increased confidence in difficult conversations, being able to cope with any triggers that come up and using natural ways to self soothe and relieve any tension.

The goal of anger management is to control the anger before it controls you by reducing your emotional and physical responses to situations that trigger outbursts. At Emerge, you’ll learn to manage the intensity of your thoughts, behaviors and actions since that is all that you have control over. You can’t change the people or environments that cause you to feel enraged, but you can change yourself and identify when to remove yourself from the situations that are triggers. If you feel you’re becoming angry more easily and having low frustration tolerance, you can benefit from anger management. The first step is understanding that there is help available and reaching out for the support in order to make the change.

Anger is a natural reaction to a hurtful or threatening situation. When it becomes uncontrollable, constant, and extreme, unhealthy anger can wreak havoc on our lives. Some people can manage anger with self-taught techniques, reading materials, and other resources. Yet, anger management therapy is considered the most effective treatment option to address these anger issues and adopt healthy coping strategies to handle them when they arise.

We all get angry at times in our life, and there are times when anger is a useful signal that tells us something needs to change or that something is wrong. But there are also times where anger can begin to dominate our thoughts and actions, causing problems at work and in our relationships. My goal as a therapist is to help you talk though your concerns and issues so that I can give you the tools to help you overcome sources of non-productive anger. When you're tired of being angry and ready to move on, let's talk.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwaive optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

One of the main tools I use with people to help them control anger, is mindfulness. Anger is a normal emotion; we all know what it feels like. No one can help how they feel, but they can certainly control what they do with these feelings. Mindfulness is a way to help people understand what is happening for them in the moment. Teaching people to stop and pause, as they become more aware of what is happening for them, is a way to help them make different choices, rather than jumping into the same patterns which have not been useful in their lives. There are other behavioral skills clients can use as well, but it all starts with slowing the process down and awareness of what is happening.

Clients can explore and resolve past experiences which may be contributing to an amplification of negative feelings in trigger situations causing tension and distressing emotions and body sensations. Resolving underlying emotional issues related to present anger can help to be able to safely express anger that a client may not have been able to get in touch with before.

Hurt, frustration, annoyance, irritability, disappointment....all can be experienced as anger. Gaining clarity about the sources of my frustration can lead me to a calmer and more satisfying life. My relationships do not thrive when anger is constantly present, so resolving these uncomfortable emotions can lead to a happier life. A therapist helps you achieve this.