Anger Management and Counseling in Montville, NJ.

We feel anger because we feel that something is not fair, something is not working out the way we thought it should, our boundaries have been crossed, or we feel we have been treated badly, or missed out. Anger can be frustrating if you don't know how to address the underlying issue. I specialize in helping those whose anger is related to social anxiety, isolation, bullying, harassment or lack of important social skills.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwaive optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

The goal of anger management is to control the anger before it controls you by reducing your emotional and physical responses to situations that trigger outbursts. At Emerge, you’ll learn to manage the intensity of your thoughts, behaviors and actions since that is all that you have control over. You can’t change the people or environments that cause you to feel enraged, but you can change yourself and identify when to remove yourself from the situations that are triggers. If you feel you’re becoming angry more easily and having low frustration tolerance, you can benefit from anger management. The first step is understanding that there is help available and reaching out for the support in order to make the change.

Clients can explore and resolve past experiences which may be contributing to an amplification of negative feelings in trigger situations causing tension and distressing emotions and body sensations. Resolving underlying emotional issues related to present anger can help to be able to safely express anger that a client may not have been able to get in touch with before.

Anger management counseling helps clients understand what is happening underneath the anger so reactions become more controlled and less damaging. Many people benefit from learning how to pause before responding, communicate more effectively, and reduce conflict at home or work. Therapy can help with irritability, frequent arguments, frustration, resentment, or feeling like emotions escalate too fast. Clients often gain practical tools for emotional regulation, stress reduction, and healthier expression of needs and boundaries. The goal is not to eliminate anger, but to use it in a way that is constructive, respectful, and aligned with your values.

I believe children must first want to learn and perfect anger management. I have developed techniques to motivate the child or teen to develop a value system of respectful behavior toward others. Once this is achieved anger management skills can easily be obtained. Without a change in attitude and values, anger management training will fail because the child lacks the motivation to practice such techniques.

Anger Management Therapy will include learning new ways of communication and self-expression. Using DBT and Internal Family Systems approach will allow for a balance in learning more about triggers to anger and that will result in more effective ways to manage these intense feelings. Results will be increased confidence in difficult conversations, being able to cope with any triggers that come up and using natural ways to self soothe and relieve any tension.

Regulating our behavior is hard thing to do. Regulating our emotions is even harder. How has your explosive anger hurt those around you? How has it taken from your belief that things can get better? Being able to navigate and regulate your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors is critical to controlling your explosive pattern of behavior. Using evidence-based therapeutic strategies and your commitment to practice, we can help you regain control of your life.

Anger isn't the problem. It's what's underneath it that we need to look at. Most people who struggle with anger aren't out of control, they're overwhelmed, and often carrying a lot more than they realize. Using CBT, EMDR, and emotional regulation techniques, I help clients identify what's actually triggering their reactions, shift the thought patterns fueling them, and develop healthier ways to express what they're feeling. We'll also look at how anger is showing up in your relationships, because that's usually where it does the most damage. The goal isn't to stop feeling angry. It's to stop letting it run the show.

Hurt, frustration, annoyance, irritability, disappointment....all can be experienced as anger. Gaining clarity about the sources of my frustration can lead me to a calmer and more satisfying life. My relationships do not thrive when anger is constantly present, so resolving these uncomfortable emotions can lead to a happier life. A therapist helps you achieve this.

Are you struggling with anger? Do you have outbursts & regret them? Do you stuff your anger & then take it out on someone? Is anger tearing apart you or your relationships? Are you worried how it will affect your kids? You are not alone. The good news is you can learn how to control your anger & still express yourself. You'll learn skills, understand where it comes from, and know how to express it in a healthy manner. Anger is a signal that you can listen to and learn from without destroying yourself or others.

I can help you learn how to manage your anger. Often anger is covering deeper feelings such as heartbreak, helplessness and loneliness. I can teach you a three-step anger process that can help you take personal responsibility for your angry feelings and learn what feelings you may be avoiding with your anger and, how you might be using anger to try to control others. Also how to know if you are really angry at yourself for maybe not setting a healthy boundary with someone and instead project your anger onto others.

This is an area that is vital to understand and know how to manage in order to have a healthy, compatible relationship. Not knowing how to reduce anger and handle it can sabotage a couple’s ability to communicate and get along on many levels. Anger unchecked, can destroy relationships and sometimes lead to violence. Over the years I have developed many techniques to help people reduce their anger, and have taught them how to communicate with their partner effectively. If you would like to learn about the 5 steps to manage anger you can go to: http://www.yourmarriagecounselor.com/anger-management-and-relationships/