Anger Management and Counseling in Saddle Brook, NJ.

One of the main tools I use with people to help them control anger, is mindfulness. Anger is a normal emotion; we all know what it feels like. No one can help how they feel, but they can certainly control what they do with these feelings. Mindfulness is a way to help people understand what is happening for them in the moment. Teaching people to stop and pause, as they become more aware of what is happening for them, is a way to help them make different choices, rather than jumping into the same patterns which have not been useful in their lives. There are other behavioral skills clients can use as well, but it all starts with slowing the process down and awareness of what is happening.

Managing our frustrations, irritations, upsets, and angry communication is a major challenge for men and women, children, and teens. Women’s anger is often sublimated as anxiety and incorrectly treated as such. I am interested in helping empower people to work through their anger and transform it into emotional strength. After working through anger issues, clients often report unexpected benefits, including more fulfilling relationships and financial success. Once the anger is overcome and clients develop skills to cope with everyday annoyances, they find themselves able to reach goals that had been thus far unattainable.

The goal of anger management is to control the anger before it controls you by reducing your emotional and physical responses to situations that trigger outbursts. At Emerge, you’ll learn to manage the intensity of your thoughts, behaviors and actions since that is all that you have control over. You can’t change the people or environments that cause you to feel enraged, but you can change yourself and identify when to remove yourself from the situations that are triggers. If you feel you’re becoming angry more easily and having low frustration tolerance, you can benefit from anger management. The first step is understanding that there is help available and reaching out for the support in order to make the change.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwaive optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

The benefit of my approach is that instead of getting angry you will learn how to think and react creatively so you are better able to find a way to prevail in the long run. People and life will sometimes do you in and obstruct you. However, you are rarely at your best when angry. It is your beliefs that lead to your self-defeating feelings of anger. I show how an angry response leads you to have far less leverage than if you felt healthy negative feelings like great annoyance, frustration, displeasure and disappointment. I teach you how to think about injustice, interference, and insult so that you stay in control of your reactions in order to creatively respond and ultimately prevail!

By helping individuals connect their irrational beliefs to their ineffectual and sometimes violent consequence, you will learn to take control of your anger and not allow it to control you. Using the ABC's of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy we will explore how activating events in your life and your belief systems or your schema trigger your emotional and behavioral consequences. Additionally, using a pulse oximeter we will explore the effects of anger on your body and learn how to de-flood your system while learning self soothing techniques.

Do you find you have difficulty managing outbursts of anger? Or are you more prone to bottling your anger and sitting on it for hours or weeks on end allowing it to fester? Both of these are common responses to anger, and neither are beneficial. Anger management therapy can benefit you by helping you to learn that you can control the way in which you respond to your anger. Through exploring the underlying reasons for your anger you will gain useful knowledge to help you recognize your triggers. Furthermore, through mindfulness and cognitive behavioral approaches you will learn to channel your anger in a more productive way.

Sometimes anger is a response to feeling misunderstood: you cannot believe that the other person does not see what is evident to you. At other times, anger is an expression of frustration because you cannot attain a goal or you are prevented (by others or by life situations) from reaching a desired landmark in your life. As a therapist, I will help you understand what is fueling your anger, and once you get a better sense of this, you will be able use emotional energy to deal with the underlying personal frustration instead of wasting it in staying angry.