Grief and Loss Counseling in Ho Ho Kus, NJ.

Grief and loss can happen when you're young or old. Whenever it happens it can result in an ongoing depression that can hamper your life. I understand how devastating it can be and use various approaches to help you recover and return to your best self. Having been there myself and worked through my own grief and loss, I know what it takes to overcome the pain of grief and loss, and I will help you overcome your own pain and regain your own healthy balance.

Grief and loss inevitably leads to anger & sadness. Not surprisingly, it also can lead to depression and feelings of guilt. The latter is called irrational guilt, as most of us lack magical powers to cure dying people. Even if they mean the world to us. I would encourage my clients to express feeling of guilt and anger often unconscious related to the loss. The anger is often at the person who died. Of course, this is irrational anger in most cases, as we all are going to die. The anger is over losing someone we love, value. I would use clinical interventions that usher in the grieving process. This fosters coming to terms with and an acceptance of the loss.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

All of us experience grief and loss in our lives. There is no escaping it. Unfortunately, there are many times that you will experience a loss that society does not sanction as "grief worthy." Loss of an early pregnancy, miscarriage, loss of a valued career or relationship, and the loss of a beloved pet often hit us hard, and result in feelings of grief. I listen with empathy and concern, and will assist you through the grieving process with sensitivity and support, while offering you effective ways of coping with your feelings.

Grief doesn't follow a schedule, and it doesn't always look like sadness. It can show up as anger, numbness, guilt, or even relief, and any of it is valid. Losing someone or something significant can shake your entire sense of self and purpose. I work with grieving clients using a combination of CBT, EMDR, and somatic approaches to help you process what you're carrying, at whatever pace feels right. We'll work through the hard emotions, find ways to honor what you've lost, and rebuild a sense of meaning. Healing from grief isn't about moving on. It's about learning to carry it differently.

Grief in and of itself is not a diagnosis. However, many people find themselves seeking out professional help following the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or the loss of financial means. In grief and loss therapy you will benefit from a compassionate and warm environment where you can explore your grief with out judgement or fear. Grief is often isolating in our sessions not only will you be given the space to process and remember your loss, but also the tools and guidance necessary to eventually continue a fulfilling life.

Grief and loss are certainly very difficult to deal with, but sooner or later, it comes to all of us. I meet my clients right where they are in the process of their grieving, and sit with them in that space. I help people to walk through the feelings and stay with them through the process. I create a safe space where clients can be with all the emotions they are experiencing. I am very patient as individuals walk through their grief at their own pace.

Grief and loss is, unfortunately, a normal part of living. There is no single "correct" way to grieve: different cultures and even individuals from the same culture grieve differently. The only consistent feature is that grief takes time. The most effective thing anyone can do for someone grieving is to be there—to listen, to empathize, to walk along with the grief. There is no "fixing" grief. But counseling can help prevent normal grief from developing into major depression or other mental health conditions.

The benefit of my approach for someone who is grieving and who has suffered a great loss is that I actively teach you how to accept things that cannot be changed. Only by achieving real acceptance can the individual carry on in life despite the loss. Acceptance in REBT does not mean liking or even denying the loss. Acceptance in REBT means to acknowledge that a great loss has occurred and to feel healthy negative feelings of sadness, even great sadness. The benefit that results is that one can still have some degree of enjoyment in life. One can function without guilt and do well in life despite having suffered a great loss. This is leverage over the loss, the thing that cannot be changed.

Grief counseling helps people cope with grief and mourning following the loss of a loved one or due to major life changes that trigger feelings of grief (i.e. job loss or divorce). It provides a space for individuals to work through and process the complex emotions surrounding loss. Healthy grieving results in remembering the loss with a newfound sense of peace, rather than searing pain.

If it is a past loss we will talk about that relationship and what it meant to you, and see how that person affected you in your current life and what he/she meant to you. If it is a current or impending loss, we can focus on day-to-day issues to lessen anxiety, and process how to handle what time is left. Practical issues may be discussed. if you find yourself obsessing we will probably focus on feeling, if you find yourself lost in feeling, we may focus on verbalizing your thoughts and your feelings. If you are overwhelmed by depression and find it difficult to function, I will make recommendations for medications and/or alternative strategies.

Dealing with grief and loss is thought by most people to be life’s greatest challenge. Whether it be loss of a partner, child, friend, or other important person in one’s life, it is universally a sad and tremendously challenging part of the human experience. I have worked with people who have experienced losses of all types throughout the lifecycle, and helped them to understand the compendium of complex feelings and challenging situations that accompany grieving. Although in the midst of grief, there is often a sense of despair, I have helped hundreds of people resolve grief, and move on with their lives.

Our credentialed music therapists tailor sessions to each individual, utilizing personalized music exercises and interventions to address each person's unique experiences of loss or trauma. Involvement in music addresses trauma in two ways: music reaches us on an emotional level to help with coping, as well as on a neurological level to address and heal areas of the brain that are affected when trauma or loss are experienced. Our music therapists work with each client using musical elements like songwriting, processing, and guided imagery to help clients find their own voice and learn new coping skills to help manage trauma of any severity.