Grief and Loss Counseling in Ho Ho Kus, NJ.

Grief and loss is, unfortunately, a normal part of living. There is no single "correct" way to grieve: different cultures and even individuals from the same culture grieve differently. The only consistent feature is that grief takes time. The most effective thing anyone can do for someone grieving is to be there—to listen, to empathize, to walk along with the grief. There is no "fixing" grief. But counseling can help prevent normal grief from developing into major depression or other mental health conditions.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you dont include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

When I very young I lost my fiancée. I went about life as if nothing had happened until it caught up to me. I was trying to open a door with a key and it wouldn't work. I found myself crying and felt out of control. This happened because I didn't want to grieve. What I learned is you can't skip this process. It will catch up to you at the strangest times. I can walk you through this without bottoming out. Ignoring it and avoiding it doesn't work

Individuals struggling with grieving the loss of a loved one can learn how to cope and heal from these painful life experiences and ease the trauma of grief. EMDR can assist in helping to relieve suffering and allow the natural process of grief and mourning to continue in a healthy, adaptive way. Clients can reprocess distressing memories that may relate to grieving process.

Grief counseling helps people cope with grief and mourning following the loss of a loved one or due to major life changes that trigger feelings of grief (i.e. job loss or divorce). It provides a space for individuals to work through and process the complex emotions surrounding loss. Healthy grieving results in remembering the loss with a newfound sense of peace, rather than searing pain.

We all experience loss at one point in our lives, but that doesn’t make it easier. Whether you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job, or something else meaningful to you, loss can leave us feeling alone, depressed, confused, and empty. I have extensive experience working with children and adults who have experienced loss and complicated grief. I provide a safe, gentle, and non judgemental environment and use a mix of trauma focused cognitive behavioral and insight oriented interventions. Through our work together you will begin to process your grief experience, learn coping skills to get you through the day, honor what you have lost, and to ultimately heal.

All of us experience grief and loss in our lives. There is no escaping it. Unfortunately, there are many times that you will experience a loss that society does not sanction as "grief worthy." Loss of an early pregnancy, miscarriage, loss of a valued career or relationship, and the loss of a beloved pet often hit us hard, and result in feelings of grief. I listen with empathy and concern, and will assist you through the grieving process with sensitivity and support, while offering you effective ways of coping with your feelings.

The benefit of my approach for someone who is grieving and who has suffered a great loss is that I actively teach you how to accept things that cannot be changed. Only by achieving real acceptance can the individual carry on in life despite the loss. Acceptance in REBT does not mean liking or even denying the loss. Acceptance in REBT means to acknowledge that a great loss has occurred and to feel healthy negative feelings of sadness, even great sadness. The benefit that results is that one can still have some degree of enjoyment in life. One can function without guilt and do well in life despite having suffered a great loss. This is leverage over the loss, the thing that cannot be changed.

Grief in and of itself is not a diagnosis. However, many people find themselves seeking out professional help following the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or the loss of financial means. In grief and loss therapy you will benefit from a compassionate and warm environment where you can explore your grief with out judgement or fear. Grief is often isolating in our sessions not only will you be given the space to process and remember your loss, but also the tools and guidance necessary to eventually continue a fulfilling life.

Grief and loss inevitably leads to anger & sadness. Not surprisingly, it also can lead to depression and feelings of guilt. The latter is called irrational guilt, as most of us lack magical powers to cure dying people. Even if they mean the world to us. I would encourage my clients to express feeling of guilt and anger often unconscious related to the loss. The anger is often at the person who died. Of course, this is irrational anger in most cases, as we all are going to die. The anger is over losing someone we love, value. I would use clinical interventions that usher in the grieving process. This fosters coming to terms with and an acceptance of the loss.

The pain you experience after losing a loved one is an intense human experience that could make you feel abandoned, hopeless, and incapable of moving forward in life. In addition, sometimes there is grief connected to losing something: a job, an opportunity, a past that will not come back, a country you left behind. I can offer an empathic ear and listening to you as you ponder important questions at this point in your life: What does your grief say? What are the fears that accompany your grief and loss? Is there a way to move forward in life knowing that the present and future will be different because someone or something won't be there with you?

Personal loss such as a loved one or due to trauma needs to be mourned in order to move on in one's life. This difficult process requires a 'witness' to the emotional loss. Psychoanalysis serves the function of enabling a person to speak about the loss. It enables an individual to remember in a way that enhances the individual survivor.

If it is a past loss we will talk about that relationship and what it meant to you, and see how that person affected you in your current life and what he/she meant to you. If it is a current or impending loss, we can focus on day-to-day issues to lessen anxiety, and process how to handle what time is left. Practical issues may be discussed. if you find yourself obsessing we will probably focus on feeling, if you find yourself lost in feeling, we may focus on verbalizing your thoughts and your feelings. If you are overwhelmed by depression and find it difficult to function, I will make recommendations for medications and/or alternative strategies.