Great Couples Counseling in Ho Ho Kus, NJ. Therapy to heal relationships.

I use my vast experience to help couples in their early 20s to late 70s, of all genders and sexual orientations to understand each other and communicate effectively. Whether the conflicts are emotional, sexual, or financial, I am there for you to help you navigate the waters, leading to a satisfying relationship. Couples counseling and premarital counseling can empower you to bring more joy into your life and can help prevent the heartache and the tremendous cost of divorce.

I help you learn genuine communication expressing your needs while respecting and caring for your partner. These fulfilling communications lead to a better relationship and a better life. Drawing close in intimacy in a couple can be challenging. Being close to another person can result in buttons getting pushed in areas of the self that were never resolved. Despite the challenge, we deeply want to feel intimacy in life. Intimacy in relationship, while often challenging, is one of the greatest opportunities for growth. Caring, compassionate communication between partners opens each person to deeper feeling, connection, and expression. These capacities are crucial for a fulfilled life.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

It's important that you know that I don't take sides or engage in blaming either partner. I understand that you are in my office because you want help. I get to know the couple as individuals and as a couple. So in addition to meeting together, I would meet individually with both partners. We would come up with a treatment plan, including frequency of meeting and schedule, treatment goals, and what each person wants from the therapy. We might focus on identifying feelings, changing toxic communication patterns, and opening up communication.

Careers and children each place enormous stress on a couple’s ability to be together in an intimate and satisfying way. Every couple has different ways of dealing with the challenges, and counseling can provide the perspective and encouragement to re-create a shared vision for the future. For something as important as this, it is surprising how little training and preparation is provided; family therapy fills in the blanks, and resolves the confusion.

Our intimate relationships can be our greatest source of happiness or the source of our deepIest pain. My desire is to help you explore how your beliefs and choices have disrupted your relationship and have undermined your personal happiness. Good relationships require mutual respect, flexibility, and commitment. If you have lost your way and find yourself stuck in repetitive and destructive patterns of interaction, I can help you identify and understand what is driving those patterns and determine strategies for overcoming them.

Anger is not an aphrodisiac nor is it helpful in getting more of what you want. Couples in conflict often focus too much energy on changing their partner. The problem is that each partner does not have direct control over the other. The way out is of this dilemma is to learn how to not get so upset over what you dislike in your partner. I teach each partner how to improve their relationship by first modifying their own behavior. By having better control over your emotional and behavioral reactions you can more constructively communicate, negotiate and influence your partner. I teach you how to get your message across and positively influence your partner so that you can enjoy the results!

The quality of relationships is central to your well-being; however, relational stress is often difficult to manage. Your ability to develop meaningful and healthy connections can greatly improve when you learn strategies to improve your communication. With my therapeutic support, we will examine your interactions to determine what is causing or maintaining your interpersonal conflicts. I look forward to help you improve your relationship style and connections with others. My therapeutic strategies aim at gaining confidence, effectively communicate your needs in a warm and non-threading manner, and experience greater joy in your personal connections.

You fell in love with your partner, enjoyed the heady first days of the relationship, but staying in love is difficult. Your relationship isn't what it was or you want, you "can't seem to get it right", or even start. The "happily ever after" fairy tale has soured. You can reauthor your story - you know life is not a fairy tale, but the real tale is far more interesting. Therapy is not about being broken, sick or wrong. It's about growth, courage & moving forward. You can learn practical skills to create an authentic loving relationship which includes passion & intimacy as well as caring & communication. It is exciting & joyful to rediscover your feelings for each other.

I usually see each person separately for a while to determine what the dynamics are and what each person brings to the relationship that is their own issues that need resolution.I will then see them together and achieve better results.My style of working with couples has been effective if both are ready to look at their issues and improve communication.

Dr. Joel Stukalin and Dr. Sara Mandelbaum are particularly sensitive to the needs of unmarried couples, such as conflicts regarding trust, fidelity, emotional-bonding, finances, future-planning, resistance to committment. We have specialized in couples work for 40 years and have been highly praised by clients as attuned psychologists who truly understand the problems and frustrations of couples living together. As child psychologists, we additionally help couples negotiate important issues with child-care concerns. Dr. Joel and Dr. Sara offer realistic models to improve empathic-communication and problem-resolution with minimum disruption. Meaningful change can start within 4 sessions.

Relationships and marriage are hard work and require healthy and open communication. Life gets hectic & things are constantly changing. We believe there's always room for growth. From becoming new parents, to children starting school, dealing with peer relationships, social media, navigating the teen years, starting college, becoming a young adult, first relationships, dating & marriage. You'll learn how to be transparent and honest and work through difficult conversations and break down barriers to get your relationship back on track.

Working with couples, married or not I will help you understand and resolve conflicts and improve your relationships. I will give you the tools to communicate better, negotiate differences, problem solve and even argue in a healthier way. I know the techniques that will help you reach the right pathway to happiness.