Family Counselling Services in Chemainus, BC.

Each family is as unique, as are all relationships. Today, families are not only made up of the traditional two parent same sex couple; but are blended, same sex, single parented, having children raised by grandparents and extended family and friends-more than ever in our history. There are times when all types of families experience difficulties that we can not resolve on our own. As your counsellor, I can provide you with a neutral perspective and provide suggestions and strategies to cope. I can provide a safe environment and provide mediation. All parties will be given an opportunity to express themselves openly, with the benefit of finding a resolution, clarity and peace.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Despite the best intentions of ourselves and our family members, we are often tangled in patterns of invalidation, rejection, frustration and blame. It can feel so messy that we operate in a constant state of fear and a crippling sense of unworthiness. In 2008 I started my counselling career as a family therapist. A combination of individual and joint sessions will take place to allow the space for all voices to be respectfully heard, while helping to identify bigger ‘systems’ patterns that keep you stuck in pain and finger-pointing. I will help to smooth out communication, make room for wants and needs and to heal the old wounds holding you back from having a healthier relationship.

Family Therapy with me provides a supportive space to improve communication, repair tension, and strengthen your relationships. Together, we'll explore patterns, deepen understanding, and build healthier ways of connecting. Each voice matters. Our work creates space for healing, cooperation and a renewed sense of trust and belonging within your family.

Families operate within a system with the confines of individual expectations. When expectations are challenged or not met, family member resort to what makes the individual feel safe and comfortable whether it is placating, withdrawing, over accommodating, or demanding. Families operate as a system and each action creates either a positive or negative reactions. Each family member operates as part of the greater system and learning how to communicate effectively, listen actively, and clarify what is heard, will help overcome the misinterpretations that cause hurt feelings, withdrawing and anger.

Today family can mean different things to different people. Each family structure is challenged with their own set of difficulties and problems. Whether you are a blended family, single parent family due to divorce or loss, adoptive family, same sex parents, or traditional, we recognize family dynamics can be complicated. Together we will work to develop strong communication skills between each family member, while nurturing and solidifying the family unit. We will work to overcome conflict, heal the wounds of the past, build parenting skills and create a safe environment where all family members can be heard.

The narcissism-co-dependency (or self-love deficit as described by Ross Rosenberg) pattern begins for many of us in the family unit. Relationships we form early in life shape our templates for relationships later in life. Learning to understand our own patterns of problem behaviours helps us develop self-awareness and opens the door to change. Is there a pattern of power imbalances, control issues, manipulation or even abuse in your family? Learn to see where things are going wrong and develop new coping techniques that help you navigate troubling relationships and build healthy new relationships.

Family counselling can be useful when miscommunication, disagreements, and family conflict is occurring. It is also useful as a preventative strategy in times of transition. Families come in all shapes and sizes; families change and expand as we age. If you are looking for family counselling in Nanaimo or a virtual approach, Island Clinical Counselling can help. Our family systems approach allow for families of all shapes and sizes to get the support they need in a timely manner. In our work with you we will help encourage families to practice empathy, give listening cues to one another, paraphrase or clarify meaning, avoid interruptions, and be mindful of each others body language.

My approach to family therapy is unique. I work with family members affected by their loved one's mental health and/or addictions challenges. Years of experience creating and running family groups of "affected others" contribute to my knowledge base on how to effectively guide families toward living their lives to their fullest, while not giving up hope. Helping families move away from caregiving toward supporting is my specialty!

When working with families, I like to make room for everyone to talk and share how the particular event(s) have shaped their reactions and how that affects the family unit. Sometimes, it takes a mediating approach to give space for everyone to contribute, and often, having an unbiased party available encourages new views of circumstances. Let's open a safe space to share and encourage growth and new patterns.

Family dynamics can be a complicated and sensitive balance within a home. This can be made increasingly complicated by divorce, blended families, individual parenting, spiritual values, health issues and much more. Counseling can provide family members a neutral voice and a place to be heard when fighting and arguing is impacting daily functioning and happiness, of one or more family members. We also help develop necessary tools to resolve conflict in a healthy way, bringing peace and harmony back to everyday lives.