Great Couples Counselling in Chemainus, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

When couples begin therapy we often teach strategies such as fair fighting. Avoiding name calling, staying in the here and now (not bringing up the past), reducing the use of harsh language, speaking for one’s own experience (I statements), sticking to one problem at a time, and reducing the volume of their voices can be useful tools. As therapists, we try to get to know the couple’s individual communication styles, support them when working through conflicts of any size, help foster further intimacy, establish appropriate boundaries, navigate grief and loss, and provide a safe space to explore past issues and hurts. We offer Gottman trained counsellors who can support couples.

If you're looking to improve your relationship, we'd work together to create a supportive environment for discussion, allowing each of you to share your perspective and experience. With important conversations and empathetic questions, there's opportunity to truly see each other and to collaborate to resolve the issues rather than engaging in blame. Together, we'd uncover experiences that promote mutual understanding, empathy and appreciation. Through this process you'll gain insights, develop new ways of communicating, strengthen your connection and establish a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.

My approach to couples counselling integrates Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Gottman Method principles to create a balanced, supportive, and practical path toward change. I help partners slow down, understand the emotions and attachment needs driving their conflict, and reshape negative cycles into moments of connection. At the same time, I offer clear, evidence-based tools for communication, repair, and strengthening of your relationship. Clients benefit from a space that feels structured yet compassionate—where they can safely explore their patterns, learn new skills, and build a more secure, intimate, and resilient bond.

Couples counselling focuses on developing strong communication skills, conflict resolution techniques, forgiveness, and effective dialogue. Many couples experience frustration at some point in their relationship where they feel they are not heard, valued or even loved any more. A toxic cycle of blaming, fighting and pulling away begins to form, creating distance and fatigue. For others an affair has shaken the very core of the safety and love they once felt in their relationship. It can be an agonizing and terrifying discovery for the partner who has been betrayed, and strong feelings of guilt, shame and a lack of understanding to how it even happened for the offending partner. Whether you are looking for a tune up to build back the excitement and...(view profile to read more)

Couples counselling shares similarities to family or marriage therapy, but I like to focus on the stressors that are present. Sometimes, with couples counselling, the focus is navigating unmet expectations or lack of communication. A focus can then be on building better communication techniques so the other partner can recognize the explicit needs. Let's work on ways to connect and communicate your needs.

I specialize in working with couples who are challenged by their adult child's behaviours/mental health and/or addiction. Having an adult kiddo who isn't quite launched, or who struggles to "adult", can cause much embarrassment and shame and it is rarely talked about openly. The secret is that this scenario is far from uncommon. I bring my years of experience of both developing and running groups for "affected others" to my practice of supporting couples as they navigate how to support without enabling. I offer suggestions on how and when to set realistic boundaries. I aim to reduce the guilt couples feel about living a good life while their adult child is struggling.

Communication styles and building constructive communication skills are key to improving any relationship. One lesson we cannot overlook from the teachings of Sue Johnson in her Emotionally Focussed Therapy is that learning to really listen to your partner, learning to empathize and really hear what your partner is telling you by their words and behaviours, is paramount in constructive communications. Couples often get caught in a spin cycle where we stop listening and simply vent, react or ignore. We can always do better and few are more keenly motivated to return to trust, intimacy, sharing and cooperation than couples.

Couples often seek help when they are unable to resolve common problems and issues. This could be due to a build up of frustrations and disappointment overtime, the loss of affection and caring, an affair, or a traumatic event. A lack of communication, constant disagreements, unfilfilled emotional needs, financial concerns, parenting issues are concerns and the aim to to help couples gain a better understanding of both their partner and themself in order to learn how to interact more positively and effectively. Being an objective third party enables both partners to express themselves in safety, identify and clarify problem areas and determine a compromise where both parties are satisfied

I'm a down-to-earth, client-centered counsellor that can bring new hope to you and new life to your relationships. I specialize in marriage and couples counselling. I'm trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and Gottman Couples Therapy. With over ten years of experience, I have the tools to get your relationship back on track. I also offer intensive therapy for highly distressed couples. I'm here and ready to listen with warmth, kindness and compassion, without any judgement or criticism.

Relationship are complicated and can be difficult. Each partner has had an upbringing, and life experiences that have shaped their values and outlook on life. These may differ from the outlook and values of their partner. Each partner also has their own methods of coping: direct, avoiding, exploding, running, and retreating. As your counsellor, I will help you both explore how your similarities help and hinder your relationship. You will gain a better understanding of why you and your partner 'do what you do'. You will learn effective ways of communicating, problem solving, managing emotions and conflict; in an effort for you both to achieve respect and love.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php