Great Couples Counselling in Nanaimo, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

When couples begin therapy we often teach strategies such as fair fighting. Avoiding name calling, staying in the here and now (not bringing up the past), reducing the use of harsh language, speaking for one’s own experience (I statements), sticking to one problem at a time, and reducing the volume of their voices can be useful tools. As therapists, we try to get to know the couple’s individual communication styles, support them when working through conflicts of any size, help foster further intimacy, establish appropriate boundaries, navigate grief and loss, and provide a safe space to explore past issues and hurts. We offer Gottman trained counsellors who can support couples.

Couples experience a number of challenges that get in the way of optimal relationship functioning. My role is to help families identify how each partner is supporting each other and what patterns are contributing to the “problem”. As a couples therapist, I provide a neutral third party perspective as to these patterns and we can explore the meaning or context behind them. Once we have identified what patterns are impacting the relationship we will develop strategies for more helpful patterns and responses. I utilize therapeutic interventions from the Gottman model, Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Attachment Theory, Response-Based Practice, and Narrative Therapy.

Couples counselling focuses on developing strong communication skills, conflict resolution techniques, forgiveness, and effective dialogue. Many couples experience frustration at some point in their relationship where they feel they are not heard, valued or even loved any more. A toxic cycle of blaming, fighting and pulling away begins to form, creating distance and fatigue. For others an affair has shaken the very core of the safety and love they once felt in their relationship. It can be an agonizing and terrifying discovery for the partner who has been betrayed, and strong feelings of guilt, shame and a lack of understanding to how it even happened for the offending partner. Whether you are looking for a tune up to build back the excitement and...(view profile to read more)

Couples counselling can offer benefits to partners in every stage of their relationship. Dating, engaged, or married, relationship counselling can help build, strengthen or repair your connection with one another. Working with Linda Duarte, Kathryn McInroy or Andee Dale at Gravitate Counselling Inc. can help you and your partner build a strong foundation, discuss important relationship topics, work through challenges, change existing patterns to something that works better for both of you, or adjust to a new season in your relationship. We can also help with co-parenting conversations and when couples decide to end their relationship.

I help couples move beyond conflict and distance by focusing on what lies beneath--the patterns and emotions creating problems. I do this in a gentle, non-judgemental way that allows couples to gain control of their interactions, finding a deeper sense of connection, intimacy, and understanding. By connecting emotionally you can avoid the negative interactions which are often rooted in couples not feeling their partner truly hears them. Couples therapy is an active process of helping you find effective, long-term solutions to gridlock, trust, emotional distance, sexual issues, and more. When your relationship works, everything else in life just works that much better.

Couples and families have many different configurations today and the methods we use foster connections between two people. The brains of human beings are naturally wired for relationship with others so when distance occurs between people, unhappiness and loneliness develops. We offer a facilitated method for couples to explore these feelings, learn about the deeper parts of themselves and each other, and repair the distance between them by using the right combination of compassion and directness. Conflict is not the problem -- conflict is normal and healthy when it is done with good communication tools and personal and interpersonal insight.

Relationship are complicated and can be difficult. Each partner has had an upbringing, and life experiences that have shaped their values and outlook on life. These may differ from the outlook and values of their partner. Each partner also has their own methods of coping: direct, avoiding, exploding, running, and retreating. As your counsellor, I will help you both explore how your similarities help and hinder your relationship. You will gain a better understanding of why you and your partner 'do what you do'. You will learn effective ways of communicating, problem solving, managing emotions and conflict; in an effort for you both to achieve respect and love.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Many couples struggle with communication and "feeling heard". Over time a once happy and vibrant relationship can begin to decay through hurt feelings, anger, lack of attention, feeling valued, infidelity, the strain of children, childhood issues, and much more. We focus to heal the wounds of the past and rebuild the love and trust within the relationship. We work to equip both partners with a voice and ability to effectively listen and hear one another. We will work together to establish individual boundaries within the relationship, while creating a stronger and healthier connection. Our goal is to equip each couple with the tools they require for success, independent of counselling

I work with couples using Gottman Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Therapy. I will help you identify your maladaptive patterns of behaviour and improve your communication skills. There is no shame in getting some coaching in how we connect with each other and how we can better meet each others needs. I use a strengths based approach to help you see the positives and remember why you fell in love.

Couples often seek help when they are unable to resolve common problems and issues. This could be due to a build up of frustrations and disappointment overtime, the loss of affection and caring, an affair, or a traumatic event. A lack of communication, constant disagreements, unfilfilled emotional needs, financial concerns, parenting issues are concerns and the aim to to help couples gain a better understanding of both their partner and themself in order to learn how to interact more positively and effectively. Being an objective third party enables both partners to express themselves in safety, identify and clarify problem areas and determine a compromise where both parties are satisfied