Great Couples Counselling in Sechelt, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples and families have many different configurations today and the methods we use foster connections between two people. The brains of human beings are naturally wired for relationship with others so when distance occurs between people, unhappiness and loneliness develops. We offer a facilitated method for couples to explore these feelings, learn about the deeper parts of themselves and each other, and repair the distance between them by using the right combination of compassion and directness. Conflict is not the problem -- conflict is normal and healthy when it is done with good communication tools and personal and interpersonal insight.

Couples often seek help when they are unable to resolve common problems and issues. This could be due to a build up of frustrations and disappointment overtime, the loss of affection and caring, an affair, or a traumatic event. A lack of communication, constant disagreements, unfilfilled emotional needs, financial concerns, parenting issues are concerns and the aim to to help couples gain a better understanding of both their partner and themself in order to learn how to interact more positively and effectively. Being an objective third party enables both partners to express themselves in safety, identify and clarify problem areas and determine a compromise where both parties are satisfied

When couples begin therapy we often teach strategies such as fair fighting. Avoiding name calling, staying in the here and now (not bringing up the past), reducing the use of harsh language, speaking for one’s own experience (I statements), sticking to one problem at a time, and reducing the volume of their voices can be useful tools. As therapists, we try to get to know the couple’s individual communication styles, support them when working through conflicts of any size, help foster further intimacy, establish appropriate boundaries, navigate grief and loss, and provide a safe space to explore past issues and hurts. We offer Gottman trained counsellors who can support couples.

If you're looking to improve your relationship, we'd work together to create a supportive environment for discussion, allowing each of you to share your perspective and experience. With important conversations and empathetic questions, there's opportunity to truly see each other and to collaborate to resolve the issues rather than engaging in blame. Together, we'd uncover experiences that promote mutual understanding, empathy and appreciation. Through this process you'll gain insights, develop new ways of communicating, strengthen your connection and establish a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.

Relationship are complicated and can be difficult. Each partner has had an upbringing, and life experiences that have shaped their values and outlook on life. These may differ from the outlook and values of their partner. Each partner also has their own methods of coping: direct, avoiding, exploding, running, and retreating. As your counsellor, I will help you both explore how your similarities help and hinder your relationship. You will gain a better understanding of why you and your partner 'do what you do'. You will learn effective ways of communicating, problem solving, managing emotions and conflict; in an effort for you both to achieve respect and love.

Couples experience a number of challenges that get in the way of optimal relationship functioning. My role is to help families identify how each partner is supporting each other and what patterns are contributing to the “problem”. As a couples therapist, I provide a neutral third party perspective as to these patterns and we can explore the meaning or context behind them. Once we have identified what patterns are impacting the relationship we will develop strategies for more helpful patterns and responses. I utilize therapeutic interventions from the Gottman model, Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Attachment Theory, Response-Based Practice, and Narrative Therapy.

I help couples move beyond conflict and distance by focusing on what lies beneath--the patterns and emotions creating problems. I do this in a gentle, non-judgemental way that allows couples to gain control of their interactions, finding a deeper sense of connection, intimacy, and understanding. By connecting emotionally you can avoid the negative interactions which are often rooted in couples not feeling their partner truly hears them. Couples therapy is an active process of helping you find effective, long-term solutions to gridlock, trust, emotional distance, sexual issues, and more. When your relationship works, everything else in life just works that much better.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Our passion is supporting relationships! We are skilled and passionate in supporting marriages / relationships by understanding the context of the relationship and what the concerns/issues are. We also understand couples often need support in identifying the deeper meaning or deeper assessment of the concerns. We offer an individualized approach to each couple and family. We utilize Gottman, Systemic Family Therapy and other dignity informed approaches.

Loving, successful relationships need to be carefully and skillfully nurtured in the following five areas: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, Sexual, Financial. Couples who are ready to do ongoing work on their relationships are richly rewarded with a loving, meaningful and joyful life together. Committed relationships that have the possibility of morphing into long term relationships benefit greatly by being guided by the Gottman research on relationships as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Premarital Counselling prepares a couple for a new stage in their relationship by identifying potential areas of conflict and strength and developing tools to create a strong foundation.

Couples counselling can offer benefits to partners in every stage of their relationship. Dating, engaged, or married, relationship counselling can help build, strengthen or repair your connection with one another. Working with Linda Duarte, Kathryn McInroy or Andee Dale at Gravitate Counselling Inc. can help you and your partner build a strong foundation, discuss important relationship topics, work through challenges, change existing patterns to something that works better for both of you, or adjust to a new season in your relationship. We can also help with co-parenting conversations and when couples decide to end their relationship.