Great Couples Counselling in Lions Bay, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Are you and your partner stuck in unsolvable arguments? Does one of you tend to ‘demand’ more while the other shuts down and withdraws? Are you feeling less connected and actually adding stress to each other’s lives instead of reducing it? While frustrating, these are perfectly normal patterns of partnership and there is hope. I would be glad to help you untangle the knots, learning to team up together instead of entering battles over who is right. In doing so, we will unpack past traumas and patterns of behaviour, learning to better communicate and to be safely vulnerable in a way that stands your relationship on solid ground.

The first step with my approach to couples therapy is for us to establish rapport as you inform me of the problem that has brought you to therapy. I use a Choice Theory approach which includes defining more closely what each of you want for yourselves as individuals and the relationship as a whole. From there, we get to work on rebuilding trust in the relationship by enhancing communication skills so each of you feel listened to, heard, and respected. Then we can build on trust to establish the changes needed to restore the happiness that brought you together in the first place.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Relationships are work, and each person in a relationship brings their own unique set of baggage to the relationship. Some of it is good and some of it is challenging. Depending on the type of couple (married, dating, common law, heterosexual, homosexual) the goals can be quite different. In counselling we can explore what those goals are and what baggage, or different values are contributing to the challenges. Even though relationships are work, they should also be the greatest place for reward. Working through understanding the goals, expectations, values, emotions and areas of conflict in the relationship, the reward can be achieved.

I am trained in the Gottman Couples Therapy Method developed by renowned therapists and researchers, Dr.'s Julie and John Gottman. This theory is based on over 25 years of research with couples and has been proven to be successful in helping couples overcome their relationship struggles. I use this approach in my work with both individuals and couples. I help clients determine their unique challenges and apply a variety of strategies to mend these challenges.

Couples counselling offers a safe environment in order to begin the process of making decisions for the future of your relationship. Many people often find it easier to say the things that they need to in front of a counsellor. Sometimes it is impossible to step back from the problems in the relationship with a view of moving forward when you are embroiled in turmoil. Having an objective helper in the room can allow each party to release themselves for healing and growth. Whether you have a specific problem or are just feeling disconnected, counselling can help.

Couples come together in love and many expectations too. Often, after the honymoon phase has passed couples experience a loss of the tight and sacred bond that they once had. Sometimes affairs have happend or fights and arguments are destroying the relationship. Yet couples are attached and want to re-build the relationship and find a way to stay together. I work hard with the couples I see to help them understand the dynamics of their unique partnership, using Emotioally Focused Therapy and Satir Model I help couples get back to where they want to be. Regardless of the issues bringing a couple in to therapy the most significant measure of their sucess is how much they want to be there !

I have extensive experience in marriage and couple therapy. In any relationship, both people play a role in the problems and concerns, and it take two to find solutions. I work with couple dealing with communication issues, fidelity, divorce and separation, co-parenting and commitment issues. I promote mutual support, and a collaborative approach to problem solving which builds trust in the couple and the counselling process. I help couples move through the old, repetitive cycles of arguing towards new and healthier communication and connection.

Most people choose a partner who reminds them in a way of their parent/caretaker with whom they had an unsatisfying relationship. So often they try to re-play the past relationship in the present, and the two different scenarios usually interlock, resulting in re-enactment of the past relations. So, instead of having someone who will help 'heal our wounds', we end up with somebody reinjuring us through defensive behaviors. I use a 'mirroring' technique: it consists of helping the couple to paraphrase each other and then offer attuned empathic responses. What this means is that partner B is invited to make an emphatic statement to A about what he/she imagines A is feeling.

Real Solutions to Real Challenges. Common Sense Techniques. Short-term & Cost Effective. All couples are exposed to challenges such as; traumas, accidents, sickness, infidelities, job loss, grief, and unproductive communication cycles. Individuals histories contain our unique interpretation of ourselves and our world and how we currently cope and function. Understanding more about our selves, recognizing unfulfilled intentions, and discharging umcomfortable feeling will produce greater self-acceptance and communion/ imtimacy with our partners

We specialize in providing essential support to couples through the effective utilization of evidence-based therapeutic approaches. We employ Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Attachment-Based Therapy, and Gottman Therapy to assist clients in recognizing and understanding the unique dance and patterns within their relationship dynamics. By fostering awareness, we enable clients to break free from ineffective communication patterns, promoting healthier and more fulfilling connections between partners.

Each relationship faces unique hurdles and holds unique potential for growth. By skillfully tuning in to each other's inner worlds, learning new ways of being together and strategies for navigating conflict, we'll resolve what is hindering you. We’ll get creative and collaborate on new possibilities. Intimate relationships can bring out the deepest parts of ourselves and ignite personal transformation. Learning about how we relate is key to learning about ourselves and each other.

Sue Johnson teaches in her emotion focussed therapy that there is a specific emotional process - a dance - that occurs between each couple. This cycle of relating (which can start with not getting one’s needs met and be followed by some protective response, for example), is largely informed by each partner’s early attachment wounds. When our relationship does not offer enough safety to be vulnerable, or when the more honest we are with our partner the more our connection is threatened, it’s time to reach out for support. In couples therapy we work to establish safety, vulnerability and connection, as well as learn the practical skills of effective communication and conflict resolution.

Couples therapy is extremely rewarding. When couples are able to resolve conflict and learn to find their loving connection again it makes for a new beginning to their relationship. This often transfers to the rest of their family--their children. What a wonderful gift for your family. My approach to couples therapy is to find out where a couple is, then find ways to mend the problem area by encouraging more open communication in a safe environment. Also, by providing psycho-educational information about what the latest research on marital therapy reveals about healthy marriages, couples have a blueprint from where to set goals and make some changes.

Relationship counselling focuses on the question "Why aren’t you having fun together?" Satisfying relationships require intimacy, honest communication, and interdependence. But sometimes they can seem like a Groundhog Day of bickering, criticizing, withdrawing, and frustration. I'm here to help clarify, demystify, and encourage you to speak frankly and listen deeply to each other. Is the message you’ve sent your partner the message that’s been received? Are you distinguishing freedom from license (interfering with the other's freedom, are demands disguised as boundaries? Through counselling, you can improve intimacy and communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen your emotional connection.

I offer Gottman Method Couples Therapy which is an evidence-based practice derived from decades of collected data with effective tools for couples to address areas of weakness and strengths within the relationship. This will entail a rigorous assessment process to determine treatment plan. I will be guiding the couples throughout the session and will be supporting couples coping tools during sessions.

I have extensive experience in working with parents and their child or youth on a wide variety of issues. For example: dropping grades, school absenteeism, communication breakdown, anger issues, control and power, oppositional communication, self-esteem difficulties, and self-harming behaviours. I specialize in helping parents better understand their child/youth and youth better understand their responsibilities. My goal is to help child/youth and parents have better communication in order to live happier and healthier lives. I look forward to working with you and your child or teen.

In Couples Counselling with me, I blend therapeutic approaches, including Gottman Couples Therapy, to create a safe, nonjudgmental space for partners to openly communicate and address relationship concerns. Through evidence-based techniques like Gottman assessments and proven strategies, couples can enhance understanding, develop healthier communication, and rebuild trust. The benefits include improved communication, emotional intimacy, and a renewed connection. Whether resolving conflicts, reigniting the spark, or enhancing the bond, I empower couples to build a fulfilling partnership.

As a Marriage Therapist, Couples counsellor and Sex Therapist, I specialize in helping couples experience more joy and connection in relationship. After completing a relationship assessment which will give you a concrete and very specific blueprint of your strengths as a couple as well as an outline of your individual experience of what isn't working I will help you develop very practical tools so you can change how you communicate, heal trust issues, create emotional safety and address Addiction, Anger or other issues. Resolving conflict and growing the love you have will allow you to develop a deeper intimate connection and rekindle the passion you once shared.

I welcome the opportunity to work with couples, whether married or not, LGBTQ, coupling or uncoupling. My goal is for partners to become more curious about themselves and about each other. We explore how unfinished business in one's family of origin and past trauma can affect emotional initmacy between partners. We will address ways of lessening emotional reactivity in order to work on relationship issues in a calm and respectful way.

My Approach to Couples Counselling includes - Providing you the tools for: Resolving Conflict and misunderstandings Effective problem solving Healthy ways to listen, talk and be heard Have a win-win relationship Moving past anger, resentment and bitterness Successfully changing self defeating behaviours Explore how your past affects your relationship/s Discover new ways to assist your life, It’s not just about your relationship, it’s also about you by building: Self-Esteem Love Intimacy Self worth Confidence Value Discovering how your personal past and baggage affect you Understanding what you need and your partner needs in a relationship And much more. Call now 604.290.1336

IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP DIFFERENT THAN IT ONCE WAS? ARE YOU STRUGGLING TO RECONNECT OR GROW STRONGER TOGETHER? Relationships can be complicated. Despite being in a partnership, you may find yourself feeling lost and alone. You may be struggling with communication difficulties, trust issues, conflicts, or feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner. These challenges can impact your daily life, causing feelings of sadness, frustration, and anxiety. Therapy can offer you a supportive and safe space to work through your challenges, develop healthy communication skills, build trust, and address conflicts in a constructive manner. Learn to set healthy boundaries and develop tools needed.

Individual therapy is complementary with couple therapy. Clients come in to get individual therapy and then feel the need to bring their partner/spouse to overcome obstacles that are causing stress. I work with both people to create unhealthy and equally respected environment in the home. Each household is different thereby each need of each person is different, I help clients address their needs with their partner. The clients work through worksheets, role playing, make lists and do other exercises that encouraging positive change and healthy communication skills.

Relationships can become tense, defensive, and hostile. Sometimes, ruptures in trust occur that leave us questioning "should I still be with you?" When our relationships feel insecure, we react often through becoming critical/nagging, or shutting down and checking out. I practice a form of evidence-based couples therapy called Emotion-Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT). Through EFT, we identify the negative cycle that has come to define your relationship, and work to repair this ruptured attachment bond, helping partners feel safer and freer around one another. This leads to improved intimacy, better communication, and a stronger emotional connection.

The research around attachment tells us that having a sense of closeness with others is essential to our well-being. When partners feel a lack of connection, it can touch on past wounds that may even exacerbate the present difficulties. All couples go through challenging times, and it is important that both individuals remain allies, even through trouble. Skilled couples counselling can support this, and help the relationship become stronger than ever before. I draw from a number of approaches when working with couples, especially Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Solution Focused Brief Therapy, and communication approaches such as Non Violent Communication.