Anger Management and Counselling in Lions Bay, BC.

Together we create a safe space to explore your anger, what is under neath it and practice strategies to track the nervous system when the strong impulse kicks to learn to bring it back into a state of regulation. Practical grounding tools in session combined with exploration of what the anger holds, your relationship with it, triggers, impulses to learn to notice them and slow them down.

Anger is often an expression of unhealed loss and pain. I will guide you to finding healthy ways of expressing anger and explore with you the underlying issues which may be fuelling the anger. Often we respond in the way we observed others express anger and other emotions. The important thing to know is that there are other options to use in expressing anger and we will find those ways together.

What Clients are saying: "You were able to put my mind at ease even though I was very nervous about the first session. I didnt feel judged and was able to learn how to express my feelings better so that I wouldnt get mad as easy. I didnt realize that I had so many expectations on myself and was setting myself to get mad at everyone else. Thanks for teaching me about boundaries and how to love myself and other people with limits. Im not as stressed out and dont get mad like I used to."

Anger can be a reaction to a range of experiences, from past traumas to present-day stressors, and EMDR can help to desensitize and reprocess these experiences, reducing the intensity of the emotional response. Through the use of bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping, EMDR can help to process the distressing memories and emotions, leading to increased emotional regulation and a greater sense of control over one's emotional response. By addressing the underlying emotional triggers, EMDR can help to alleviate symptoms of anger and promote more adaptive coping strategies.

As a couples and marriage counsellor, I help partners slow down the negative dance that takes over their relationship. Anger in relationship is often like a suit of armor meant to keep the person safe from feeling underlying pain. I help couples create the safety they need to begin to investigate the pain that lies beneath the shield of anger. The healing is transformative and couples find connections with themselves and each other that restores safety and confidence and brings love back.

Anger is a healthy and normal emotion. It is only when it is acted out in inappropriate ways that it becomes unhealthy and socially "unacceptable". The key to getting a handle on anger is to learn mindful awareness of what you are actually experiencing in the moment - particularly what you are experiencing physically in your body. That moment to moment awareness shows you the truth of your experience and slows your reaction time, giving you a chance to take a breath, evaluate, and assess how you might want to RESPOND, rather than simply REACT, in a given situation. It is equally important to discover underlying anxiety or depression that might be contributing to unwanted anger.

Anger can arise from a number of events in one's life. For some it is comes about from frustration and a lack of coping strategies, for others it is the culmination of many (sometimes divergent and seemingly unrelated) events, or it may be in reaction to changing life circumstances (e.g. loss of employment). I work first to help my clients understand the source of their angry behaviours, feelings, and thoughts, and then work with them to develop more effective ways of expressing their needs and dealing with other potential triggers. Leaving them feel a greater sense of control and strength.

Anger is a normal healthy human emotion. When people allow it to get out of control it can turn destructive, it can lead to problems at work, personal relationships, and the overall quality of life. I like to think of anger using the metaphore of a hammer. You can do a lot of things with a hammer. You can build things and you can tear things apart. The hammer is just a tool just like anger can be a tool. Anger isn't the problem, it's what you do with it. I help people learn the skills they need to use their anger and the underlying hurt and feelings of injustice to make positive choices that lead to positive relationships and experiences.

Anger is a normal emotion that is necessary to our survival. However, if anger is controlling you, rather than you controlling it, your anger is likely impacting your relationships and functioning in important parts of your life. Anger management counselling can help you develop techniques for changing the way you think and behave in response to events that trigger you to respond inappropriately. Self-soothing strategies, cognitive-behavioural therapy, and family systems therapy are some interventions that I use to help people manage anger more effectively.

Contrary to popular belief, anger is a normal and healthy emotion. The challenge is how anger is expressed. Often we feel angry for no apparent reason or our anger is more than the situation warrants - or we do things in anger that are hurtful to ourselves or others. These are things that need to be looked at in counselling. What are the triggers? What other emotions are beneath the anger? How can we control our anger? What are healthy ways of expressing anger? in counselling you will be given the tools to understand and manage these feelings.

One of the greatest detriments of anger is that it makes us feel helpless and out of control. Anger management techniques aren't meant to eliminate your anger. Anger management techniques put you in charge of the situation and teach you how to make your anger work for you. Resolve conflict creatively, calm yourself before you hit the red zone, recognize the early warning signs of anger…so that you’ll stay in control of your emotions, offer and respond to criticism with confidence and react to a crisis calmly and confidently...so that you will be powerful instead of overpowering.

Personally, I struggle with the term "anger management". Anger is an important emotion that needs to be viewed through a lens of acceptance not barred to a back room. Until a person understands the myriad of emotions that lie under the surface of 'anger', they are often controlled by these emotions, One of the purposes of anger is to alert the emotional person to the fact that something is wrong (much like pain signals the body when something is wrong). People do need to "control" their behaviour - especially when feelings are strong. i believe that people can learn to manage their life better once they understand what is affecting them AND what they want to accomplish by their action.

I worked for eight years co-facilitating men's mandated domestic violence groups. I am very experienced at helping both men and women deal with a reactionary way of expressing their anger along with the opposite men and women that don't express their anger in healthy and or direct way but instead stuff it down. I have helped many men and women learn how to think and "do" their anger differently. The benefit to learning anger management is happy relationships.

Anger is a healthy emotion. It is an important part of our human experience in certain instances where our boundaries have been violated, or some injustice has impacted us, for example. Anger becomes destructive (to ourselves and others) when it is expressed in dysregulated ways such as angry outbursts, abusive speech, violent acts, feeling overwhelmed and out of control, etc. Dysregulated anger was at one point a quiet, subtle regulated feeling, but was either overlooked or avoided and, just like any boiling pot of water that has been left unattended, it bubbles over and burns whatever it touches. In therapy, I help clients slow down their experience of anger so they can learn to give proper attention to the subtle nudges – the early bodily experiences of anger – rendering the escalation

I help clients to distinguish their racket (unauthentic, manipulative) feelings from their genuine feelings of anger. I teach them the meaning/role of anger as well as other three basic feelings: sadness, fear and happiness. Together we explore if there is another feeling covered by the feeling of anger and in the case of authentic anger, what did the client need at the time. The clients also learn a number of coping strategies.

Collaboratively, we will explore the underlying causes of anger and identify triggers within relationships (with self and other). An emphasis on relational strategies can promote effective expression and constructive conflict resolution. We will work on developing emotional intelligence, helping you recognize and understand what is beneath the surface of your anger. It can be useful to explore past experiences that might be contributing to present challenges. Treatment focusses on building healthy connections and increasing self-awareness.

Anger often stems from feeling so many emotions all at once. You lose a sense of control. You go from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye. By getting angry you’re attempting to regain control that’s presumed lost. But instead, you’re full of guilt and shame. Feeling angry and reacting in anger, is simply exhausting. I’ll help you learn how to regain control, in a healthy way.

Has losing your temper hurt your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues? Is anger your go-to state when you are overwhelmed, exhausted, and feel misunderstood? Do you often think: it shouldn’t be this hard to be patient and calm, even when you’re frustrated? Anger can bring out the worst in us. It often leads us to make decisions that we regret later causing pain to the people we love and care about the most. ANGER MANAGEMENT THERAPY CAN HELP YOU RECOGNIZE THE EARLY SIGNS OF ANGER SO YOU CAN STOP IT FROM ESCALATING

Are you a gay man that struggles with anger at yourself or other people? Perhaps you’re even searching for help after a blow up that’s left you feeling bad about your reactions. Anger often shows up in some unique ways for gay men, so the traditional approaches to anger management don’t always work. I help gay men transform their relationship with anger so that they can understand their anger better, use anger effectively, and feel more in control of their responses.

We employ an integrative approach to assist our clients in gaining a deeper understanding of their emotions. Our primary goal is to eliminate the stigma surrounding anger by fostering a compassionate environment that encourages clients to explore the underlying meaning behind their anger. Through our guidance and support, we empower clients to express anger healthily and constructively.

We are all thoroughly emotional beings. We were not all fortunate enough to be coached from birth on how to handle our emotions, especially the big ones, like anger. My role is in helping you learn to regulate your feelings in order for those spikes of anger to become less overwhelming. It is never too late to integrate these skills.

Anger and violence are wildly misunderstood issues. I believe that it is important to explore the context in which the anger or violence occurs. For example, does it happen at home, or at work, or in public? Who is impacted by the anger or violence? How do the individuals who are impacted resist and respond to the anger/violence? Through counselling we will explore the context of the interactions. Once we understand the context (who is doing what to who?) I will respectfully invite responsibility taking and strategies for more helpful communication and responses.

Anger can become emotionally addictive and yet this may not be obvious to a client. They may have many reasons for being angry and may feel very justified in their anger. Anger can jeopardize meaningful relationships. I help clients get to the core of their anger and give them new tools and methods to handle these explosive feelings. I will also help my client uncover the underlying beliefs and sources of their anger. There is no need for them to continue to suffer.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

While anger is a natural human response to frustration or upset it needs to be managed appropriately. In counselling, I help clients of all ages identify and understand their anger "triggers." We then process together appropriate responses to such triggers and practice such reactions. Over time, the goal is for clients to use the tools and strategies learned in counselling and apply them in their everyday lives at home with family, at school with peers and in the work place with colleagues. I look forward to working with you to make positive life changes.