Anger Management and Counselling in Bowen Island, BC.

We employ an integrative approach to assist our clients in gaining a deeper understanding of their emotions. Our primary goal is to eliminate the stigma surrounding anger by fostering a compassionate environment that encourages clients to explore the underlying meaning behind their anger. Through our guidance and support, we empower clients to express anger healthily and constructively.

Anger is a very legitimate and important emotion. We need anger, to help us set boundaries, honour our dignity, and heal from deep wounds. It is an emotion we need to honour within ourselves while finding ways to express it so we don’t hurt ourselves or anyone else. In my practice we start by honouring the anger, even if we don’t understand where it comes from. A lot of our anger is built up inside of us from childhood experiences or life events where we felt helpless and not in control. In therapy we get to the source of the anger and release the emotion safely allowing us to connect to the emotions the anger was being used to cover.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I use cognitive therapy to help people overcome their anger issues. Thoughts create feelings which create behavior. If a person feels angry while driving in the car and cannot control his temper vis a vis the driver he is angry at, identifying the irrational thought at the root of it is often helpful. Usually I find the clients having such thoughts as, "He cut me off on purpose" or "Who does he think he is driving like that?" These types of thoughts can and do create anger. But if the client changes his thoughts for more rational ones such as, "Wow he must really be in a rush to be driving that way, perhaps there is an emergency", the client finds that he is less angry and less reactive!

Anger can arise from a number of events in one's life. For some it is comes about from frustration and a lack of coping strategies, for others it is the culmination of many (sometimes divergent and seemingly unrelated) events, or it may be in reaction to changing life circumstances (e.g. loss of employment). I work first to help my clients understand the source of their angry behaviours, feelings, and thoughts, and then work with them to develop more effective ways of expressing their needs and dealing with other potential triggers. Leaving them feel a greater sense of control and strength.

Does your anger feel explosive or unmanageable? Are you troubled or overwhelmed by another negative emotion like guilt, shame, fear, or jealousy? Generally speaking, our emotions are healthy and normal, but the way we react to them can cause real problems our lives and relationships. I can share skills to help you understand your emotions, what’s causing them, and how to react to them in a helpful way. When we can work with our emotions, rather than fight against them, we are healthier and happier.

As a couples and marriage counsellor, I help partners slow down the negative dance that takes over their relationship. Anger in relationship is often like a suit of armor meant to keep the person safe from feeling underlying pain. I help couples create the safety they need to begin to investigate the pain that lies beneath the shield of anger. The healing is transformative and couples find connections with themselves and each other that restores safety and confidence and brings love back.

One of the greatest detriments of anger is that it makes us feel helpless and out of control. Anger management techniques aren't meant to eliminate your anger. Anger management techniques put you in charge of the situation and teach you how to make your anger work for you. Resolve conflict creatively, calm yourself before you hit the red zone, recognize the early warning signs of anger…so that you’ll stay in control of your emotions, offer and respond to criticism with confidence and react to a crisis calmly and confidently...so that you will be powerful instead of overpowering.

Therapy with me offers a safe, supportive space to understand and manage anger. We'll explore your triggers, build healthy coping tools, and uncover what's beneath the surface. You'll learn to express yourself clearly without losing control, strengthen relationships, and feel more grounded and in control of your emotions.

Real Solutions to Real Challenges. Common Sense Techniques. Anger can be helpful or it can be destructive. Anger unchecked and not understood can consume a persons attention and energy and keep them stuck. Anger can be hepful in that it is telling us that something is wrong. We may feel unfairly treated, overpowered, and hurt. As a result individuals may become defensive, withdrwan/silent, or even aggresive if they sense injustice and then go the attack. Quite often if the intensity of the anger response seems out of proportion to the current incident then this is most likely due to a cumulative history that comes rushing in to the present and hence the over reaction.

Anger often stems from feeling so many emotions all at once. You lose a sense of control. You go from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye. By getting angry you’re attempting to regain control that’s presumed lost. But instead, you’re full of guilt and shame. Feeling angry and reacting in anger, is simply exhausting. I’ll help you learn how to regain control, in a healthy way.

Anger is often an expression of unhealed loss and pain. I will guide you to finding healthy ways of expressing anger and explore with you the underlying issues which may be fuelling the anger. Often we respond in the way we observed others express anger and other emotions. The important thing to know is that there are other options to use in expressing anger and we will find those ways together.

Anger can be a frightening emotion; it can turn into to rage and lead to destructive behavior. Anger management will teach you how to control your anger, communicate your anger in a constructive manner and finally look at the sources of the anger (either from childhood or present situation). The approach I use to help you deal with your anger includes cognitive behavioral therapy, building self-confidence, and improving communication skills. I help to guide through this process of changes always with compassionate and empathy. .