Anger Management and Counselling in Bowen Island, BC.

Therapy with me offers a safe, supportive space to understand and manage anger. We'll explore your triggers, build healthy coping tools, and uncover what's beneath the surface. You'll learn to express yourself clearly without losing control, strengthen relationships, and feel more grounded and in control of your emotions.

Like all other emotions , anger is a messenger about the unmet needs. Unlike the common belief about anger ; experiencing healthy anger can assist us have a healthier life . In therapy , I will help you transform the unhelpful anger to helpful one . As a result you will experience assertiveness and skills on setting boundaries instead of burst outs .

People often confuse anger management with the impossible task of eliminating anger. Anger is a feeling, and, like all feelings, demands to be felt. My favourite line about this is, "Feelings are like sh--. They have to come out eventually." The key to anger management is to feel the anger, recognize it, and find ways to express and release it safely.

Our anger can be a sentry, a protector and a wise indicator that our boundaries have been transgressed or that something vitally important to us is threatened. It can also be a raging tyrant, a short fuse, a simmering internalisation that off-gases through passive aggression, or a childish tantrum. Becoming intimate with our anger is synonymous with becoming intimidate with our power. In anger therapy, we will work to understand the unique way your anger process happens through somatic awareness, mindfulness and emotional intimacy. We will look at your history with anger, your family lineage, and you will learn tools to channel this fire in ways that support rather than hinder your life.

I use cognitive therapy to help people overcome their anger issues. Thoughts create feelings which create behavior. If a person feels angry while driving in the car and cannot control his temper vis a vis the driver he is angry at, identifying the irrational thought at the root of it is often helpful. Usually I find the clients having such thoughts as, "He cut me off on purpose" or "Who does he think he is driving like that?" These types of thoughts can and do create anger. But if the client changes his thoughts for more rational ones such as, "Wow he must really be in a rush to be driving that way, perhaps there is an emergency", the client finds that he is less angry and less reactive!

As a couples and marriage counsellor, I help partners slow down the negative dance that takes over their relationship. Anger in relationship is often like a suit of armor meant to keep the person safe from feeling underlying pain. I help couples create the safety they need to begin to investigate the pain that lies beneath the shield of anger. The healing is transformative and couples find connections with themselves and each other that restores safety and confidence and brings love back.

Does your anger feel explosive or unmanageable? Are you troubled or overwhelmed by another negative emotion like guilt, shame, fear, or jealousy? Generally speaking, our emotions are healthy and normal, but the way we react to them can cause real problems our lives and relationships. I can share skills to help you understand your emotions, what’s causing them, and how to react to them in a helpful way. When we can work with our emotions, rather than fight against them, we are healthier and happier.

Real Solutions to Real Challenges. Common Sense Techniques. Anger can be helpful or it can be destructive. Anger unchecked and not understood can consume a persons attention and energy and keep them stuck. Anger can be hepful in that it is telling us that something is wrong. We may feel unfairly treated, overpowered, and hurt. As a result individuals may become defensive, withdrwan/silent, or even aggresive if they sense injustice and then go the attack. Quite often if the intensity of the anger response seems out of proportion to the current incident then this is most likely due to a cumulative history that comes rushing in to the present and hence the over reaction.

Contrary to popular belief, anger is a normal and healthy emotion. The challenge is how anger is expressed. Often we feel angry for no apparent reason or our anger is more than the situation warrants - or we do things in anger that are hurtful to ourselves or others. These are things that need to be looked at in counselling. What are the triggers? What other emotions are beneath the anger? How can we control our anger? What are healthy ways of expressing anger? in counselling you will be given the tools to understand and manage these feelings.

We are all thoroughly emotional beings. We were not all fortunate enough to be coached from birth on how to handle our emotions, especially the big ones, like anger. My role is in helping you learn to regulate your feelings in order for those spikes of anger to become less overwhelming. It is never too late to integrate these skills.

While anger is a natural human response to frustration or upset it needs to be managed appropriately. In counselling, I help clients of all ages identify and understand their anger "triggers." We then process together appropriate responses to such triggers and practice such reactions. Over time, the goal is for clients to use the tools and strategies learned in counselling and apply them in their everyday lives at home with family, at school with peers and in the work place with colleagues. I look forward to working with you to make positive life changes.

Anger is a healthy emotion. It is an important part of our human experience in certain instances where our boundaries have been violated, or some injustice has impacted us, for example. Anger becomes destructive (to ourselves and others) when it is expressed in dysregulated ways such as angry outbursts, abusive speech, violent acts, feeling overwhelmed and out of control, etc. Dysregulated anger was at one point a quiet, subtle regulated feeling, but was either overlooked or avoided and, just like any boiling pot of water that has been left unattended, it bubbles over and burns whatever it touches. In therapy, I help clients slow down their experience of anger so they can learn to give proper attention to the subtle nudges – the early bodily experiences of anger – rendering the escalation

Anger is ultimately a healthy emotion that can be an adaptive and appropriate response to our circumstances. It can let us know what we need and be a helpful guide in taking positive and proactive actions. Yet, in some cases it can control and motivate us to take actions we regret or that lead to negative consequences. Developing an empowering relationship with anger is a skill that can be learned. In order to do so, our individual contexts need to be considered—our personalities, values, life histories, and underlying psychologies. There is no one size fits all approach. Anger can fulfill different functions in each of our lives.

Anger often stems from feeling so many emotions all at once. You lose a sense of control. You go from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye. By getting angry you’re attempting to regain control that’s presumed lost. But instead, you’re full of guilt and shame. Feeling angry and reacting in anger, is simply exhausting. I’ll help you learn how to regain control, in a healthy way.

I offer counselling for anger management to help clients manage difficult situations. The treatment process is rooted in CBT with a focus on identifying triggers and recognizing body sensations that indicate emotional dysregulation. Developing coping skills and strategies to manage anger and associated emotions can improve conflict resolution, communication, and problem solving abilities while showing individuals how to express emotions such as anger in a healthy way.

Anger is a useful emotion. The feeling of anger makes sense in the perspective of the one who is angry. Anger is an appropriate response to injustice or a reaction to being misjudged. Once we are able to determine the interpretation the client has made of the anger-inducing experience, we determine a concrete response to the triggering experience. Anger does not have to be so loud when its trigger is understood from the client's perspective and the energy redirected to a more authentic response.

Have you found that anger has started to ruin relationships, interfere with your job, and negatively impact your life? Anger has a way of spreading and infecting day-to-day interactions. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. I work with many people who are controlled by their anger. Typically, anger is influenced by other underlying causes. In counselling, we will work together to learn new coping mechanisms to limit anger while also looking at what is causing anger. If you want to take the next step, reach out to me, and we can begin to change how you react to anger.

When anger gets the best of us, we can say and/or do things that we later wish we could change or take back. Anger is an instinctive universal emotion, one in which we all have, but not all expressions of anger have to be hurt. In fact, anger works as a great informant and can motivate us to take action to improve our own lives and the lives of people that we care about.

Anger is a healthy and normal emotion. It is only when it is acted out in inappropriate ways that it becomes unhealthy and socially "unacceptable". The key to getting a handle on anger is to learn mindful awareness of what you are actually experiencing in the moment - particularly what you are experiencing physically in your body. That moment to moment awareness shows you the truth of your experience and slows your reaction time, giving you a chance to take a breath, evaluate, and assess how you might want to RESPOND, rather than simply REACT, in a given situation. It is equally important to discover underlying anxiety or depression that might be contributing to unwanted anger.

If you're seeking out therapy to help you with anger management, you have likely experienced yourself losing control, only to feel racked with guilt later on. Or, perhaps you simmer with resentment, and your anger comes out in passive aggressive slights. My approach to anger is to explore it fully, so that we can understand its source, and figure out a constructive and healthy way to manage this important emotion. I work collaboratively and actively with my clients to use mindfulness, self-compassion, and emotional awareness to learn about the roots of their anger, and intercept it before it hijacks them.

I believe anger management ultimately comes down to emotional regulation and finding an alternative way to still express yourself, but in a more safe and effective way. The goal is not to get rid of the emotion, but to work with it before it overcomes you. What is underneath the anger? What message are you trying to get across when you feel angry? How was anger expressed to you growing up? What emotions did you feel safe to express growing up? How did you learn to deal with your anger over the years? These are questions that I would explore and build skills from here to help you reach a better understanding of the processes behind the intense anger that you are feeling.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

If a client comes to me with anger management, I would approach them with curiosity and examine the root cause of the anger. Depending on the source of the anger, I would determine what type of approach to use. For example if the anger was caused by a specific event, if the client agrees, we would explore that specific event in detail, as well as practical strategies to manage the existing anger. Approaches I use are Alderian therapy or EFT for treatment.

Anger can arise from a number of events in one's life. For some it is comes about from frustration and a lack of coping strategies, for others it is the culmination of many (sometimes divergent and seemingly unrelated) events, or it may be in reaction to changing life circumstances (e.g. loss of employment). I work first to help my clients understand the source of their angry behaviours, feelings, and thoughts, and then work with them to develop more effective ways of expressing their needs and dealing with other potential triggers. Leaving them feel a greater sense of control and strength.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.