Anger Management and Counselling in Bowen Island, BC.

Anger is a healthy and normal emotion. It is only when it is acted out in inappropriate ways that it becomes unhealthy and socially "unacceptable". The key to getting a handle on anger is to learn mindful awareness of what you are actually experiencing in the moment - particularly what you are experiencing physically in your body. That moment to moment awareness shows you the truth of your experience and slows your reaction time, giving you a chance to take a breath, evaluate, and assess how you might want to RESPOND, rather than simply REACT, in a given situation. It is equally important to discover underlying anxiety or depression that might be contributing to unwanted anger.

If you find yourself snapping at loved ones and feeling awful afterward, I help you step back, understand what’s underneath your reactions, and respond with greater clarity and control. When you keep telling yourself, "I should be able to handle this," but things aren't getting better, I help you figure out what's going on and what to do about it. And if your relationships feel like walking on eggshells, I guide you toward deeper trust, safer communication, and genuine connection.

Does your anger feel explosive or unmanageable? Are you troubled or overwhelmed by another negative emotion like guilt, shame, fear, or jealousy? Generally speaking, our emotions are healthy and normal, but the way we react to them can cause real problems our lives and relationships. I can share skills to help you understand your emotions, what’s causing them, and how to react to them in a helpful way. When we can work with our emotions, rather than fight against them, we are healthier and happier.

Anger can take over quickly, leaving you saying or doing things you regret, shutting people out, or getting caught in conflicts that never seem to resolve. Often, anger is protecting something more vulnerable underneath — hurt, fear, rejection, shame or the feeling that you don’t matter. I offer anger management counselling that helps you understand your triggers and what your anger is trying to communicate, not simply control or suppress it. Using an emotion-focused approach, we can work toward responding differently when you’re triggered, communicating what you really need, and creating safer, healthier relationships with the people who matter most.

As a couples and marriage counsellor, I help partners slow down the negative dance that takes over their relationship. Anger in relationship is often like a suit of armor meant to keep the person safe from feeling underlying pain. I help couples create the safety they need to begin to investigate the pain that lies beneath the shield of anger. The healing is transformative and couples find connections with themselves and each other that restores safety and confidence and brings love back.

I use cognitive therapy to help people overcome their anger issues. Thoughts create feelings which create behavior. If a person feels angry while driving in the car and cannot control his temper vis a vis the driver he is angry at, identifying the irrational thought at the root of it is often helpful. Usually I find the clients having such thoughts as, "He cut me off on purpose" or "Who does he think he is driving like that?" These types of thoughts can and do create anger. But if the client changes his thoughts for more rational ones such as, "Wow he must really be in a rush to be driving that way, perhaps there is an emergency", the client finds that he is less angry and less reactive!

We feel anger because we feel that something is not fair, something is not working out the way we thought it should, our boundaries have been crossed, or we feel we have been treated badly, or missed out. Anger can be frustrating if you don't know how to address the underlying issue. I specialize in helping those whose anger is related to social anxiety, isolation, bullying, harassment or lack of important social skills.

Collaboratively, we will explore the underlying causes of anger and identify triggers within relationships (with self and other). An emphasis on relational strategies can promote effective expression and constructive conflict resolution. We will work on developing emotional intelligence, helping you recognize and understand what is beneath the surface of your anger. It can be useful to explore past experiences that might be contributing to present challenges. Treatment focusses on building healthy connections and increasing self-awareness.

I believe anger management ultimately comes down to emotional regulation and finding an alternative way to still express yourself, but in a more safe and effective way. The goal is not to get rid of the emotion, but to work with it before it overcomes you. What is underneath the anger? What message are you trying to get across when you feel angry? How was anger expressed to you growing up? What emotions did you feel safe to express growing up? How did you learn to deal with your anger over the years? These are questions that I would explore and build skills from here to help you reach a better understanding of the processes behind the intense anger that you are feeling.

If you're seeking out therapy to help you with anger management, you have likely experienced yourself losing control, only to feel racked with guilt later on. Or, perhaps you simmer with resentment, and your anger comes out in passive aggressive slights. My approach to anger is to explore it fully, so that we can understand its source, and figure out a constructive and healthy way to manage this important emotion. I work collaboratively and actively with my clients to use mindfulness, self-compassion, and emotional awareness to learn about the roots of their anger, and intercept it before it hijacks them.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

Anger is a normal emotion that is necessary to our survival. However, if anger is controlling you, rather than you controlling it, your anger is likely impacting your relationships and functioning in important parts of your life. Anger management counselling can help you develop techniques for changing the way you think and behave in response to events that trigger you to respond inappropriately. Self-soothing strategies, cognitive-behavioural therapy, and family systems therapy are some interventions that I use to help people manage anger more effectively.

Real Solutions to Real Challenges. Common Sense Techniques. Anger can be helpful or it can be destructive. Anger unchecked and not understood can consume a persons attention and energy and keep them stuck. Anger can be hepful in that it is telling us that something is wrong. We may feel unfairly treated, overpowered, and hurt. As a result individuals may become defensive, withdrwan/silent, or even aggresive if they sense injustice and then go the attack. Quite often if the intensity of the anger response seems out of proportion to the current incident then this is most likely due to a cumulative history that comes rushing in to the present and hence the over reaction.