Anger Management and Counselling in Vancouver, BC.

If a client comes to me with anger management, I would approach them with curiosity and examine the root cause of the anger. Depending on the source of the anger, I would determine what type of approach to use. For example if the anger was caused by a specific event, if the client agrees, we would explore that specific event in detail, as well as practical strategies to manage the existing anger. Approaches I use are Alderian therapy or EFT for treatment.

If you're finding it difficult to control your anger I can help you by getting to the root of the issue. Underneath anger lies a whole host of emotions that you may not be consciously aware of. In therapy I'll help you dig underneath the surface, identify those emotions and meet the corresponding needs they're associated with. I'll also give you practical tools to calm yourself down when you get triggered and communicate with others in an assertive way that respects both your rights and theirs. I'd be honoured to travel with you on your journey.

In anger management, we start with your story: understanding your concerns, what triggers your anger, and how it's impacting you and your loved ones. Often anger affects relationships, work, or your wellbeing in ways that feel out of control. Together we'll build awareness about the patterns and underlying emotions driving your anger. Sometimes it masks hurt, frustration, or feeling unheard. Then we work on practical strategies: recognizing early warning signs, reframing triggering situations, and developing healthier ways to express feelings. Our therapeutic relationship provides the foundation where you bring knowledge of yourself and I bring clinical perspective. You'll learn to respond rather than react, communicate more effectively, and regain control of your emotions.

When anger gets the best of us, we can say and/or do things that we later wish we could change or take back. Anger is an instinctive universal emotion, one in which we all have, but not all expressions of anger have to be hurt. In fact, anger works as a great informant and can motivate us to take action to improve our own lives and the lives of people that we care about.

Anger is often an expression of unhealed loss and pain. I will guide you to finding healthy ways of expressing anger and explore with you the underlying issues which may be fuelling the anger. Often we respond in the way we observed others express anger and other emotions. The important thing to know is that there are other options to use in expressing anger and we will find those ways together.

Our anger can be a sentry, a protector and a wise indicator that our boundaries have been transgressed or that something vitally important to us is threatened. It can also be a raging tyrant, a short fuse, a simmering internalisation that off-gases through passive aggression, or a childish tantrum. Becoming intimate with our anger is synonymous with becoming intimidate with our power. In anger therapy, we will work to understand the unique way your anger process happens through somatic awareness, mindfulness and emotional intimacy. We will look at your history with anger, your family lineage, and you will learn tools to channel this fire in ways that support rather than hinder your life.

People often confuse anger management with the impossible task of eliminating anger. Anger is a feeling, and, like all feelings, demands to be felt. My favourite line about this is, "Feelings are like sh--. They have to come out eventually." The key to anger management is to feel the anger, recognize it, and find ways to express and release it safely.

Anger is a very legitimate and important emotion. We need anger, to help us set boundaries, honour our dignity, and heal from deep wounds. It is an emotion we need to honour within ourselves while finding ways to express it so we don’t hurt ourselves or anyone else. In my practice we start by honouring the anger, even if we don’t understand where it comes from. A lot of our anger is built up inside of us from childhood experiences or life events where we felt helpless and not in control. In therapy we get to the source of the anger and release the emotion safely allowing us to connect to the emotions the anger was being used to cover.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger is a strong emotion and when not regulated in a healthy manner, it can impact us in different ways. It can impact the most important relationships in our lives, our work and even how we feel about ourselves. When working with anger, I want my clients to first listen to what anger is trying to tell them. Anger, like any other emotion, has a message for us. It might be trying to tell us something about the pains we have never dealt with, the boundaries in our lives that are being crossed, and the changes that we desire in our lives. Once we learn to your anger and hear it out, we will work on tools to regulate it better and express it constructively without suppressing it.

Does your anger feel explosive or unmanageable? Are you troubled or overwhelmed by another negative emotion like guilt, shame, fear, or jealousy? Generally speaking, our emotions are healthy and normal, but the way we react to them can cause real problems our lives and relationships. I can share skills to help you understand your emotions, what’s causing them, and how to react to them in a helpful way. When we can work with our emotions, rather than fight against them, we are healthier and happier.

If you're seeking out therapy to help you with anger management, you have likely experienced yourself losing control, only to feel racked with guilt later on. Or, perhaps you simmer with resentment, and your anger comes out in passive aggressive slights. My approach to anger is to explore it fully, so that we can understand its source, and figure out a constructive and healthy way to manage this important emotion. I work collaboratively and actively with my clients to use mindfulness, self-compassion, and emotional awareness to learn about the roots of their anger, and intercept it before it hijacks them.

Anger often stems from feeling so many emotions all at once. You lose a sense of control. You go from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye. By getting angry you’re attempting to regain control that’s presumed lost. But instead, you’re full of guilt and shame. Feeling angry and reacting in anger, is simply exhausting. I’ll help you learn how to regain control, in a healthy way.