Anger Management and Counselling in Vancouver, BC.

Anger is a very legitimate and important emotion. We need anger, to help us set boundaries, honour our dignity, and heal from deep wounds. It is an emotion we need to honour within ourselves while finding ways to express it so we don’t hurt ourselves or anyone else. In my practice we start by honouring the anger, even if we don’t understand where it comes from. A lot of our anger is built up inside of us from childhood experiences or life events where we felt helpless and not in control. In therapy we get to the source of the anger and release the emotion safely allowing us to connect to the emotions the anger was being used to cover.

If you're seeking out therapy to help you with anger management, you have likely experienced yourself losing control, only to feel racked with guilt later on. Or, perhaps you simmer with resentment, and your anger comes out in passive aggressive slights. My approach to anger is to explore it fully, so that we can understand its source, and figure out a constructive and healthy way to manage this important emotion. I work collaboratively and actively with my clients to use mindfulness, self-compassion, and emotional awareness to learn about the roots of their anger, and intercept it before it hijacks them.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce Anger is often an intense emotional response that can negatively affect people’s lives. Many people struggle to manage and express their anger effectively due to often intense and overwhelming feelings. Families, work, friendships and one’s personal well-being can be destroyed unintentionally along the way. Although we cannot control anger provoking situations, we can learn step by step techniques for successfully and efficiently managing them. Through counselling we will work to access the issues provoking anger and outbursts, and develop tools to identify and effectively manage emotional triggers. When needed, we will also work with families and...(view profile to read more)

We are all thoroughly emotional beings. We were not all fortunate enough to be coached from birth on how to handle our emotions, especially the big ones, like anger. My role is in helping you learn to regulate your feelings in order for those spikes of anger to become less overwhelming. It is never too late to integrate these skills.

Expression of healthy anger is important for emotional well-being. The question frequently asked is "What is the difference between expression of healthy anger/frustration versus hurtful behaviour?" Concepts such as these are dealt with during the counselling session. It is important to help the client understands that repressed anger only leads to further health-related challenges. Opening up through writing and/or compassionate dialogue helps the client learn to mange and process his/her/they emotions in a constructive manner. Graphic organizers depicting Anger Mountain and the 5 Point scale help the client begin to notice when his/her/they emotions are escalating.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

Does your anger feel explosive or unmanageable? Are you troubled or overwhelmed by another negative emotion like guilt, shame, fear, or jealousy? Generally speaking, our emotions are healthy and normal, but the way we react to them can cause real problems our lives and relationships. I can share skills to help you understand your emotions, what’s causing them, and how to react to them in a helpful way. When we can work with our emotions, rather than fight against them, we are healthier and happier.

Anger is a normal healthy human emotion. When people allow it to get out of control it can turn destructive, it can lead to problems at work, personal relationships, and the overall quality of life. I like to think of anger using the metaphore of a hammer. You can do a lot of things with a hammer. You can build things and you can tear things apart. The hammer is just a tool just like anger can be a tool. Anger isn't the problem, it's what you do with it. I help people learn the skills they need to use their anger and the underlying hurt and feelings of injustice to make positive choices that lead to positive relationships and experiences.

Anger is a healthy emotion. It is an important part of our human experience in certain instances where our boundaries have been violated, or some injustice has impacted us, for example. Anger becomes destructive (to ourselves and others) when it is expressed in dysregulated ways such as angry outbursts, abusive speech, violent acts, feeling overwhelmed and out of control, etc. Dysregulated anger was at one point a quiet, subtle regulated feeling, but was either overlooked or avoided and, just like any boiling pot of water that has been left unattended, it bubbles over and burns whatever it touches. In therapy, I help clients slow down their experience of anger so they can learn to give proper attention to the subtle nudges – the early bodily experiences of anger – rendering the escalation

Anger is a strong emotion and when not regulated in a healthy manner, it can impact us in different ways. It can impact the most important relationships in our lives, our work and even how we feel about ourselves. When working with anger, I want my clients to first listen to what anger is trying to tell them. Anger, like any other emotion, has a message for us. It might be trying to tell us something about the pains we have never dealt with, the boundaries in our lives that are being crossed, and the changes that we desire in our lives. Once we learn to your anger and hear it out, we will work on tools to regulate it better and express it constructively without suppressing it.

If a client comes to me with anger management, I would approach them with curiosity and examine the root cause of the anger. Depending on the source of the anger, I would determine what type of approach to use. For example if the anger was caused by a specific event, if the client agrees, we would explore that specific event in detail, as well as practical strategies to manage the existing anger. Approaches I use are Alderian therapy or EFT for treatment.

Our anger can be a sentry, a protector and a wise indicator that our boundaries have been transgressed or that something vitally important to us is threatened. It can also be a raging tyrant, a short fuse, a simmering internalisation that off-gases through passive aggression, or a childish tantrum. Becoming intimate with our anger is synonymous with becoming intimidate with our power. In anger therapy, we will work to understand the unique way your anger process happens through somatic awareness, mindfulness and emotional intimacy. We will look at your history with anger, your family lineage, and you will learn tools to channel this fire in ways that support rather than hinder your life.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

For every client that I see, I always offer an individualized and tailored approach by draw from a variety of therapeutic approaches in order to enable your mental health healing and functional recovery. Using a collaborative and client centered approach, I will walk alongside you and together, we will explore solutions to overcome anger challenges.

It sucks to be angry and loose control of our emotions. Anger can have a devastating impact on the people we love the most. I will support you in addressing the emotions, trauma and pain underneath anger and learn to identify your triggers and patterns. I will teach you tools to address your stress and help you learn to better deal with your emotions. Learning to communicate our needs in a way that will be received is also a part of how I address anger issues.

Anger often stems from feeling so many emotions all at once. You lose a sense of control. You go from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye. By getting angry you’re attempting to regain control that’s presumed lost. But instead, you’re full of guilt and shame. Feeling angry and reacting in anger, is simply exhausting. I’ll help you learn how to regain control, in a healthy way.

If you're finding it difficult to control your anger I can help you by getting to the root of the issue. Underneath anger lies a whole host of emotions that you may not be consciously aware of. In therapy I'll help you dig underneath the surface, identify those emotions and meet the corresponding needs they're associated with. I'll also give you practical tools to calm yourself down when you get triggered and communicate with others in an assertive way that respects both your rights and theirs. I'd be honoured to travel with you on your journey.

Anger management equips individuals with the tools and insights necessary to understand and regulate their anger effectively. A range of techniques are utilized, including cognitive restructuring, relaxation exercises, and assertiveness training, to help clients identify triggers, manage physiological responses, and express emotions constructively. By fostering self-awareness, empathy, and problem-solving skills, counseling empowers individuals to break destructive patterns of behavior, cultivate healthier relationships, and navigate conflicts with greater resilience and composure.

Do you find yourself yelling at your partner, losing your temper at your children, storming out of the office in a fury of frustration and anger? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion that sometimes gets away on a person. Feeling disappointed in yourself when you 'lose your cool' is information that there may be better ways to handle a situation. Together we will work to help you develop the skills to communicate effectively, maintain your authenticity and foster strong, positive relationships.

Therapy with me offers a safe, supportive space to understand and manage anger. We'll explore your triggers, build healthy coping tools, and uncover what's beneath the surface. You'll learn to express yourself clearly without losing control, strengthen relationships, and feel more grounded and in control of your emotions.

People often confuse anger management with the impossible task of eliminating anger. Anger is a feeling, and, like all feelings, demands to be felt. My favourite line about this is, "Feelings are like sh--. They have to come out eventually." The key to anger management is to feel the anger, recognize it, and find ways to express and release it safely.

Anger is often an expression of unhealed loss and pain. I will guide you to finding healthy ways of expressing anger and explore with you the underlying issues which may be fuelling the anger. Often we respond in the way we observed others express anger and other emotions. The important thing to know is that there are other options to use in expressing anger and we will find those ways together.

In anger management, we start with your story: understanding your concerns, what triggers your anger, and how it's impacting you and your loved ones. Often anger affects relationships, work, or your wellbeing in ways that feel out of control. Together we'll build awareness about the patterns and underlying emotions driving your anger. Sometimes it masks hurt, frustration, or feeling unheard. Then we work on practical strategies: recognizing early warning signs, reframing triggering situations, and developing healthier ways to express feelings. Our therapeutic relationship provides the foundation where you bring knowledge of yourself and I bring clinical perspective. You'll learn to respond rather than react, communicate more effectively, and regain control of your emotions.

Anger is a healthy and normal emotion. It is only when it is acted out in inappropriate ways that it becomes unhealthy and socially "unacceptable". The key to getting a handle on anger is to learn mindful awareness of what you are actually experiencing in the moment - particularly what you are experiencing physically in your body. That moment to moment awareness shows you the truth of your experience and slows your reaction time, giving you a chance to take a breath, evaluate, and assess how you might want to RESPOND, rather than simply REACT, in a given situation. It is equally important to discover underlying anxiety or depression that might be contributing to unwanted anger.

Learning to recognize your anger without acting impulsively is a challenge I can help you with. My approach to anger includes: • Learning to recognize and fully understand your anger triggers • Working with self-esteem—often feelings of shame or self-doubt exacerbate anger problems • Finding ways to express the energy of anger in healthy ways, like assertion rather than aggression, setting boundaries with kind firmness, breath, movement and energetic release • Practices tailored to you, for between sessions to integrate the new healthy ways you are finding in our sessions together