Anger Management and Counselling in Vancouver, BC.

Are you a gay man that struggles with anger at yourself or other people? Perhaps you’re even searching for help after a blow up that’s left you feeling bad about your reactions. Anger often shows up in some unique ways for gay men, so the traditional approaches to anger management don’t always work. I help gay men transform their relationship with anger so that they can understand their anger better, use anger effectively, and feel more in control of their responses.

We employ an integrative approach to assist our clients in gaining a deeper understanding of their emotions. Our primary goal is to eliminate the stigma surrounding anger by fostering a compassionate environment that encourages clients to explore the underlying meaning behind their anger. Through our guidance and support, we empower clients to express anger healthily and constructively.

If you're seeking out therapy to help you with anger management, you have likely experienced yourself losing control, only to feel racked with guilt later on. Or, perhaps you simmer with resentment, and your anger comes out in passive aggressive slights. My approach to anger is to explore it fully, so that we can understand its source, and figure out a constructive and healthy way to manage this important emotion. I work collaboratively and actively with my clients to use mindfulness, self-compassion, and emotional awareness to learn about the roots of their anger, and intercept it before it hijacks them.

We work with individuals who want to work on and take accountability for their anger and violence. We offer a dignity informed approach to understand and offer insight and support in issues of anger and violence. Our hope is to delve into the context and history of the individual and determine what is happening in the anger and violence and help with accountability and different choices around the anger and violence.

I work with voluntary clients who want to change how they express their anger. Very few of us were lucky enough to see anger modelled in healthy ways in the families we grew up in. I will support you to slow down and pay attention to what leads you to feeling frustrated and angry. You'll discover your "anger styles", what types of interactions and situations tend to set you off, and the internal and external cues it’s important for you to notice so that you can get a handle on this problem. The goal is for you to gain mastery over your anger, learn how to express it in skillful and fair ways, and see your relationships and self-esteem improve.

Many people struggle with anger and don't have effective strategies to help them manage this anger. I work with clients to identify what makes them most angry and to teach ways to self-soothe, gain acceptance, communicate, and get their needs met in a more productive way. The strategies I choose for each client will depend on the client's unique personality requirements and past experiences of success.

Anger is ultimately a healthy emotion that can be an adaptive and appropriate response to our circumstances. It can let us know what we need and be a helpful guide in taking positive and proactive actions. Yet, in some cases it can control and motivate us to take actions we regret or that lead to negative consequences. Developing an empowering relationship with anger is a skill that can be learned. In order to do so, our individual contexts need to be considered—our personalities, values, life histories, and underlying psychologies. There is no one size fits all approach. Anger can fulfill different functions in each of our lives.

One of the greatest detriments of anger is that it makes us feel helpless and out of control. Anger management techniques aren't meant to eliminate your anger. Anger management techniques put you in charge of the situation and teach you how to make your anger work for you. Resolve conflict creatively, calm yourself before you hit the red zone, recognize the early warning signs of anger…so that you’ll stay in control of your emotions, offer and respond to criticism with confidence and react to a crisis calmly and confidently...so that you will be powerful instead of overpowering.

Have you found that anger has started to ruin relationships, interfere with your job, and negatively impact your life? Anger has a way of spreading and infecting day-to-day interactions. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. I work with many people who are controlled by their anger. Typically, anger is influenced by other underlying causes. In counselling, we will work together to learn new coping mechanisms to limit anger while also looking at what is causing anger. If you want to take the next step, reach out to me, and we can begin to change how you react to anger.

As a couples and marriage counsellor, I help partners slow down the negative dance that takes over their relationship. Anger in relationship is often like a suit of armor meant to keep the person safe from feeling underlying pain. I help couples create the safety they need to begin to investigate the pain that lies beneath the shield of anger. The healing is transformative and couples find connections with themselves and each other that restores safety and confidence and brings love back.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) specifically focuses on providing clients with skills in four specific areas: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. It is widely used to successfully treat many issues including anger management issues, domestic violence, PTSD, Substance Abuse, and Depression. We work with the individual to teach them how to manage and alter intense emotions, increase their ability to tolerate negative emotions, and communicate effectively in a non-emotional manner

Learning to recognize your anger without acting impulsively is a challenge I can help you with. My approach to anger includes: • Learning to recognize and fully understand your anger triggers • Working with self-esteem—often feelings of shame or self-doubt exacerbate anger problems • Finding ways to express the energy of anger in healthy ways, like assertion rather than aggression, setting boundaries with kind firmness, breath, movement and energetic release • Practices tailored to you, for between sessions to integrate the new healthy ways you are finding in our sessions together

Anger is a healthy and normal emotion. It is only when it is acted out in inappropriate ways that it becomes unhealthy and socially "unacceptable". The key to getting a handle on anger is to learn mindful awareness of what you are actually experiencing in the moment - particularly what you are experiencing physically in your body. That moment to moment awareness shows you the truth of your experience and slows your reaction time, giving you a chance to take a breath, evaluate, and assess how you might want to RESPOND, rather than simply REACT, in a given situation. It is equally important to discover underlying anxiety or depression that might be contributing to unwanted anger.