Great Couples Counselling in Bowen Island, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Having difficulties communicating? Fighting too much? Not talking any more? Have you lost that loving feeling? Trying to get past an affair? Love is not always enough - there are relationship skills that every successful couple incorporates. Let me teach you some new skills and help you put the passion back into your relationship. I have been trained by the Gottman Institute which has been researching successful relationships for more than 30 years. Don't wait, call me now at 604-468-7300, and start loving again.

In my work with couples, I generally work individually with each person before we meet together as a group. My rationale is that especially for individuals who are new or somewhat uncomfortable with counselling, it allows me to build trust and rapport and really listen to each person so that they feel heard and understood. This helps me suggest goals and approaches in our work together.

Through emotional focused therapy I work with couples to heal their past wounds and move forward in creating a more safe and secure relationship with each other. I will closely work with couples to help them idenfity their emotional needs and find closeness, connection and safety with each other that they desire. Couples will learn to identify their negative cycle. They will be able to ask each other for their needs in a non-blaming ways. They will be able to move towards finding harmony and deepr love in their relationship.

Most people choose a partner who reminds them in a way of their parent/caretaker with whom they had an unsatisfying relationship. So often they try to re-play the past relationship in the present, and the two different scenarios usually interlock, resulting in re-enactment of the past relations. So, instead of having someone who will help 'heal our wounds', we end up with somebody reinjuring us through defensive behaviors. I use a 'mirroring' technique: it consists of helping the couple to paraphrase each other and then offer attuned empathic responses. What this means is that partner B is invited to make an emphatic statement to A about what he/she imagines A is feeling.

I am trained in the Gottman Couples Therapy Method developed by renowned therapists and researchers, Dr.'s Julie and John Gottman. This theory is based on over 25 years of research with couples and has been proven to be successful in helping couples overcome their relationship struggles. I use this approach in my work with both individuals and couples. I help clients determine their unique challenges and apply a variety of strategies to mend these challenges.

My role as a couple's therapist to create a safe haven, a calm bay, for you to make the repairs as needed, for you to re-embark on your journey together, stronger, more connected and back on the same team. The storminess of relationships is as natural as waves in the ocean, our ability to stay connect during the swells and crashing waves is what makes or breaks a marriage, not the wave itself. Our work together focuses on identifying our patterns and our partners patterns as we run for cover in the tumult of the wave. We then work on understanding, supporting and staying reconnected.

Are you unhappy in your relationship, and maybe even yelling and fighting all the time, but not sure how to create positive change? Are you in a good relationship and want to keep things going well? Or, are you moving in together or getting married and looking for strategies to improve your communication or conflict resolution? I work with couples of all ages and stages using the Gottman Method for relationship counselling. By using this research-based technique, I'm able to help couples effectively build skills and improve the quality of their relationship. If you’re looking for more intimacy, empathy, understanding, affection, and respect, give me a call and let’s get things started today.

Being in a relationship can, at times, be quite stressful. Two individuals who care for each other deeply may not always have the same perspective on the best way to deal with ongoing issues and changes. Learning to communicate, respecting each others dreams and working together to solve problems is the focus of my work with couples. I primarily use the Gottman approach to couples therapy which has been demonstrated to be very successful. The key is to seek help before the problems in your relationship become overwhelming.

I have extensive experience in working with parents and their child or youth on a wide variety of issues. For example: dropping grades, school absenteeism, communication breakdown, anger issues, control and power, oppositional communication, self-esteem difficulties, and self-harming behaviours. I specialize in helping parents better understand their child/youth and youth better understand their responsibilities. My goal is to help child/youth and parents have better communication in order to live happier and healthier lives. I look forward to working with you and your child or teen.

As human beings, one of our most fundamental needs is that of "connection". From our beginnings we are primed to seek and maintain our connection to important others. Sometimes our childhood needs for contact, acknowledgement, safety and loving-care are met well and sometimes they get overlooked or even threatened. Understanding how our experiences in current relationships often contain echoes of those we knew in early life, can reveal important insights about our powerful yet unconscious roadmaps for relationship. A healthy therapeutic connection is often a wonderful place to begin this enquiry. As most of our wounding has taken place "in relationship" - healing can take place there too.

Individual therapy is complementary with couple therapy. Clients come in to get individual therapy and then feel the need to bring their partner/spouse to overcome obstacles that are causing stress. I work with both people to create unhealthy and equally respected environment in the home. Each household is different thereby each need of each person is different, I help clients address their needs with their partner. The clients work through worksheets, role playing, make lists and do other exercises that encouraging positive change and healthy communication skills.

Couples Counselling supports the perceptions and emotional reality of both individuals while helping each person to understand the differences that may be contributing to any stress or power struggles between them. It also helps each partner to understand the emotional talking style, the love language and the needs of one another, and to learn the relationship skills to bridge any differences so that they can create emotional harmony and continued growth from their relationship. The best case scenario is the couple will learn and grow, and the worst case scenario is they will discover that they are not compatible and respectfully separate and not repeat the same patterns.

Heidi provides relationship therapy for couples regardless of their marital status, orientation, or length of time together. Her approach deepens the experience of the spouses in relation to each other and to themselves. Couples learn a new way of listening to each other based on empathy and deep understanding. From that foundation, genuine change can occur rather than having it imposed or demanded. Spouses begin to act and treat their partner differently because they want to enrich their relationship, not because they were told to change. The process leads to more satisfaction, and mutual respect and care within the couple's relationship, while furthering each one's individual development.