Great Couples Counselling in Bowen Island, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Are you and your partner stuck in unsolvable arguments? Does one of you tend to ‘demand’ more while the other shuts down and withdraws? Are you feeling less connected and actually adding stress to each other’s lives instead of reducing it? While frustrating, these are perfectly normal patterns of partnership and there is hope. I would be glad to help you untangle the knots, learning to team up together instead of entering battles over who is right. In doing so, we will unpack past traumas and patterns of behaviour, learning to better communicate and to be safely vulnerable in a way that stands your relationship on solid ground.

Relationships are work, and each person in a relationship brings their own unique set of baggage to the relationship. Some of it is good and some of it is challenging. Depending on the type of couple (married, dating, common law, heterosexual, homosexual) the goals can be quite different. In counselling we can explore what those goals are and what baggage, or different values are contributing to the challenges. Even though relationships are work, they should also be the greatest place for reward. Working through understanding the goals, expectations, values, emotions and areas of conflict in the relationship, the reward can be achieved.

Couples counseling, rooted in the Gottman Method, focuses on enhancing communication, understanding, and connection between partners. Through assessments like the Sound Relationship House, we help couples identify patterns of interaction and areas of strength and growth. Interventions such as the "Four Horsemen" and "Repair Attempts" aid in addressing conflict constructively and fostering emotional attunement. By nurturing friendship, managing conflict, and building shared meaning, couples cultivate stronger bonds and develop skills for sustaining a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

Real Solutions to Real Challenges. Common Sense Techniques. Short-term & Cost Effective. All couples are exposed to challenges such as; traumas, accidents, sickness, infidelities, job loss, grief, and unproductive communication cycles. Individuals histories contain our unique interpretation of ourselves and our world and how we currently cope and function. Understanding more about our selves, recognizing unfulfilled intentions, and discharging umcomfortable feeling will produce greater self-acceptance and communion/ imtimacy with our partners

In times of conflict we feel attacked and unsafe. We are flooded with emotions and act out of a sense of being overwhelmed: "Attack," "Run!" "Comply!" and "Hide!" are some of the ways we respond to conflict. In counselling, couples learn to see themselves as separate from each other and therefore less threatened. Once the emotional storm is diffused, couples can learn specific skills and perspectives that heal the relationship. But we do not seek simply to return to the status quo. Couples can then learn to hear, value and enjoy each other. Life with your partner can be fun and every day a day of discovering the pleasure of the person you are with.

I use the Intimacy From the Inside Out framework for couples therapy. This approach focuses on helping individuals and couples explore their internal worlds—their emotional needs, fears, desires, and vulnerabilities—in a way that fosters more authentic and fulfilling connections with one another. "Inside Out" refers to looking inward and understanding how your inner world influences your behavior, actions, and reactions in the relationship. This includes examining your emotional patterns, past experiences, and unmet needs that shape how you engage with your partner.

I have extensive experience in marriage and couple therapy. In any relationship, both people play a role in the problems and concerns, and it take two to find solutions. I work with couple dealing with communication issues, fidelity, divorce and separation, co-parenting and commitment issues. I promote mutual support, and a collaborative approach to problem solving which builds trust in the couple and the counselling process. I help couples move through the old, repetitive cycles of arguing towards new and healthier communication and connection.

I use the Gottman method to help couples work through their marital concerns to establish a friendship, nurture a stronger emotional bond, find shared meaning, and learn skills for conflict resolution. Couples typically engage in therapy to strengthen their connection, cope with crisis situations, and improve communication. I work with partners to instill a sense of understanding by breaking unhealthy patterns of communication and behaviours that may be showing up due to earlier experiences. Couples are provided with the opportunity to navigate through difficult relational dynamics to achieve happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction in their relationship.

Sue Johnson teaches in her emotion focussed therapy that there is a specific emotional process - a dance - that occurs between each couple. This cycle of relating (which can start with not getting one’s needs met and be followed by some protective response, for example), is largely informed by each partner’s early attachment wounds. When our relationship does not offer enough safety to be vulnerable, or when the more honest we are with our partner the more our connection is threatened, it’s time to reach out for support. In couples therapy we work to establish safety, vulnerability and connection, as well as learn the practical skills of effective communication and conflict resolution.

My role as a couple's therapist to create a safe haven, a calm bay, for you to make the repairs as needed, for you to re-embark on your journey together, stronger, more connected and back on the same team. The storminess of relationships is as natural as waves in the ocean, our ability to stay connect during the swells and crashing waves is what makes or breaks a marriage, not the wave itself. Our work together focuses on identifying our patterns and our partners patterns as we run for cover in the tumult of the wave. We then work on understanding, supporting and staying reconnected.

When a couple comes to counselling, they are often desperate for help. They have usually been arguing and drifting farther and farther apart. They feel lonely and dissappointed in their relationship. It is my goal as an Emotionally Focused therapist to help couples identify their patterns and behaviors, so they can make better choices and see major improvement. Through therapy, you begin to understand how your behaviors have impacted your partner, and led to the creation of the emotional distance between you. In essence, I give couples the tools they need to feel closer and rediscover the connection and intimacy they thought was lost forever.

Relationships are hard work. Sometimes it gets overwhelming. I offer inclusive relationship counselling, including triadand non-monogamous relationships. I will work with you to address your struggles and undesirable patterns. I am trained in Terry Real Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy. I take a very direct yet solution-focused approach to couples therapy.

If you're looking to improve your relationship, we'd work together to create a supportive environment for discussion, allowing each of you to share your perspective and experience. With important conversations and empathetic questions, there's opportunity to truly see each other and to collaborate to resolve the issues rather than engaging in blame. Together, we'd uncover experiences that promote mutual understanding, empathy and appreciation. Through this process you'll gain insights, develop new ways of communicating, strengthen your connection and establish a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.

Do you or your partner suffer from social anxiety and it's affecting your relationship? Social anxiety is a fear of negative judgment from others and it can lead to reduced levels of intimacy, suppressed emotions, feelings of isolation and loneliness and lack of communication. If one or both of you feels anxious socially, your relationship may be suffering too. Contact me for ways in which you can move past social anxiety to a fuller, intimate, richer, relaxed more authentic relationship.

Do you look at your partner and wonder what happened to the sense of connection and intimacy that you once enjoyed? Have the stresses of life, career, and parenting gotten in the way of your relationship? Would you like to learn how to be heard and to hear what is really going on in your partner's heart of hearts? Couples counselling is an opportunity to re-connect and re-discover yourself and your partner. It is a safe forum to air difficult issues , develop skills for effective communication and enhance emotional and physical intimacy.

In the couple therapy , I assist the couples to identify the dysfunctional patterns that they get stuck in and to understand the underlying maladaptive emotions. I guide partners to become more aware of primary anger and sadness, fear and shame, and the attendant needs and to regulate, make sense of, and communicate these in non-demanding ways to promote security, validation, and warmth. In addition, I help partners reveal their most vulnerable feelings to each other to promote bonding and validation and help couples learn to soothe and transform emotions that are maladaptive.

My approach to couples counselling integrates Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Gottman Method principles to create a balanced, supportive, and practical path toward change. I help partners slow down, understand the emotions and attachment needs driving their conflict, and reshape negative cycles into moments of connection. At the same time, I offer clear, evidence-based tools for communication, repair, and strengthening of your relationship. Clients benefit from a space that feels structured yet compassionate—where they can safely explore their patterns, learn new skills, and build a more secure, intimate, and resilient bond.

Relationships can become tense, defensive, and hostile. Sometimes, ruptures in trust occur that leave us questioning "should I still be with you?" When our relationships feel insecure, we react often through becoming critical/nagging, or shutting down and checking out. I practice a form of evidence-based couples therapy called Emotion-Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT). Through EFT, we identify the negative cycle that has come to define your relationship, and work to repair this ruptured attachment bond, helping partners feel safer and freer around one another. This leads to improved intimacy, better communication, and a stronger emotional connection.

Relationships are essential for living a heathy life. Human brains are hard wired for love and connection, and as such, when relational issues surface life may become a challenge. Conflict, however, is a natural part of life. Relationships typically move from harmony, to disharmony to repair. It is the repair of the rupture in relational issues that is essential. Learning to communicate with respect and transparency is key. Using tools such as Non-Violent Communication, The Feedback Wheel the 5 Losing Strategies are valuable sills to learn for developing healthy ways of communicating with others.

We specialize in providing essential support to couples through the effective utilization of evidence-based therapeutic approaches. We employ Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Attachment-Based Therapy, and Gottman Therapy to assist clients in recognizing and understanding the unique dance and patterns within their relationship dynamics. By fostering awareness, we enable clients to break free from ineffective communication patterns, promoting healthier and more fulfilling connections between partners.