Great Couples Counselling in Lions Bay, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

I welcome the opportunity to work with couples, whether married or not, LGBTQ, coupling or uncoupling. My goal is for partners to become more curious about themselves and about each other. We explore how unfinished business in one's family of origin and past trauma can affect emotional initmacy between partners. We will address ways of lessening emotional reactivity in order to work on relationship issues in a calm and respectful way.

Relationships are essential for living a heathy life. Human brains are hard wired for love and connection, and as such, when relational issues surface life may become a challenge. Conflict, however, is a natural part of life. Relationships typically move from harmony, to disharmony to repair. It is the repair of the rupture in relational issues that is essential. Learning to communicate with respect and transparency is key. Using tools such as Non-Violent Communication, The Feedback Wheel the 5 Losing Strategies are valuable sills to learn for developing healthy ways of communicating with others.

Relationships can become tense, defensive, and hostile. Sometimes, ruptures in trust occur that leave us questioning "should I still be with you?" When our relationships feel insecure, we react often through becoming critical/nagging, or shutting down and checking out. I practice a form of evidence-based couples therapy called Emotion-Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT). Through EFT, we identify the negative cycle that has come to define your relationship, and work to repair this ruptured attachment bond, helping partners feel safer and freer around one another. This leads to improved intimacy, better communication, and a stronger emotional connection.

I'm a down-to-earth, client-centered counsellor that can bring new hope to you and new life to your relationships. I specialize in marriage and couples counselling. I'm trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and Gottman Couples Therapy. With over ten years of experience, I have the tools to get your relationship back on track. I also offer intensive therapy for highly distressed couples. I'm here and ready to listen with warmth, kindness and compassion, without any judgement or criticism.

Sue Johnson teaches in her emotion focussed therapy that there is a specific emotional process - a dance - that occurs between each couple. This cycle of relating (which can start with not getting one’s needs met and be followed by some protective response, for example), is largely informed by each partner’s early attachment wounds. When our relationship does not offer enough safety to be vulnerable, or when the more honest we are with our partner the more our connection is threatened, it’s time to reach out for support. In couples therapy we work to establish safety, vulnerability and connection, as well as learn the practical skills of effective communication and conflict resolution.

My role as a couple's therapist to create a safe haven, a calm bay, for you to make the repairs as needed, for you to re-embark on your journey together, stronger, more connected and back on the same team. The storminess of relationships is as natural as waves in the ocean, our ability to stay connect during the swells and crashing waves is what makes or breaks a marriage, not the wave itself. Our work together focuses on identifying our patterns and our partners patterns as we run for cover in the tumult of the wave. We then work on understanding, supporting and staying reconnected.

It can be extremely difficult when we are experiencing issues in our closest relationships. Thankfully, a lot of these issues come down to communication skills that can be learned. When using active listening skills, you can begin to create a fuller understanding of your partner(s). We can also work on skills to express your own needs and desires in an effective way, using Non-Violent Communication tools. More often than not, we become frustrated when we don’t feel understood, but the reality is that we are not communicating properly, and our partners are not mind-readers, as much as we would like them to be (sometimes). Together we can create a more stable, loving foundation to grow from.

I have extensive experience in working with parents and their child or youth on a wide variety of issues. For example: dropping grades, school absenteeism, communication breakdown, anger issues, control and power, oppositional communication, self-esteem difficulties, and self-harming behaviours. I specialize in helping parents better understand their child/youth and youth better understand their responsibilities. My goal is to help child/youth and parents have better communication in order to live happier and healthier lives. I look forward to working with you and your child or teen.

Is telephone counseling possible with couples? Usually face to face couple counseling is preferable but in reality it is not always possible. Couples that I have worked with either have lived in different locations or like many couples with children, have no free time until the children are put to sleep. 9:00 PM on the east coast is only 6:00 PM on the Pacific coast where I am located. If both partners are motivated and feel comfortable on the phone, then telephone counseling can be very helpful. Couples counseling is often centered on improving communication which can easily be addressed through telephone counseling.

Do you or your partner suffer from social anxiety and it's affecting your relationship? Social anxiety is a fear of negative judgment from others and it can lead to reduced levels of intimacy, suppressed emotions, feelings of isolation and loneliness and lack of communication. If one or both of you feels anxious socially, your relationship may be suffering too. Contact me for ways in which you can move past social anxiety to a fuller, intimate, richer, relaxed more authentic relationship.

Real Solutions to Real Challenges. Common Sense Techniques. Short-term & Cost Effective. All couples are exposed to challenges such as; traumas, accidents, sickness, infidelities, job loss, grief, and unproductive communication cycles. Individuals histories contain our unique interpretation of ourselves and our world and how we currently cope and function. Understanding more about our selves, recognizing unfulfilled intentions, and discharging umcomfortable feeling will produce greater self-acceptance and communion/ imtimacy with our partners

Most couples get stuck at some point in their relationship. Intimacy is challenging for most us! I have a 2 pronged approach: I teach communication and conflict resolution skills as well as going deeper to discover the driving forces which lead to conflict. Conflict, once resolved, can lead to greater intimacy. The struggles you are facing now are the key to future deeper happiness and fulfillment and an opportunity for growth. I work with all types of couples.

Relationships are work, and each person in a relationship brings their own unique set of baggage to the relationship. Some of it is good and some of it is challenging. Depending on the type of couple (married, dating, common law, heterosexual, homosexual) the goals can be quite different. In counselling we can explore what those goals are and what baggage, or different values are contributing to the challenges. Even though relationships are work, they should also be the greatest place for reward. Working through understanding the goals, expectations, values, emotions and areas of conflict in the relationship, the reward can be achieved.