Great Couples Counselling in Sidney, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Shelley helps couples to enhance their communication, create safety and connection, heal past hurts and frustrations, and restore passion and playfulness. Through the Intentional Dialogue couples learn how to hear each other's perspective with compassion and empathy. With Shelley's guidance, couples can gain more understanding and awareness about the conflicts, and explore the dynamics that are stopping them from getting the love that they want. Couples learn to focus on the positive aspects of each other, and build on the strengths of their relationship, as well as work through the issues, in a safe and connected way, which promotes healing and growth.

Many couples struggle with communication and "feeling heard". Over time a once happy and vibrant relationship can begin to decay through hurt feelings, anger, lack of attention, feeling valued, infidelity, the strain of children, childhood issues, and much more. We focus to heal the wounds of the past and rebuild the love and trust within the relationship. We work to equip both partners with a voice and ability to effectively listen and hear one another. We will work together to establish individual boundaries within the relationship, while creating a stronger and healthier connection. Our goal is to equip each couple with the tools they require for success, independent of counselling

Are you and your partner stuck in unsolvable arguments? Does one of you tend to ‘demand’ more while the other shuts down and withdraws? Are you feeling less connected and actually adding stress to each other’s lives instead of reducing it? While frustrating, these are perfectly normal patterns of partnership and there is hope. I would be glad to help you untangle the knots, learning to team up together instead of entering battles over who is right. In doing so, we will unpack past traumas and patterns of behaviour, learning to better communicate and to be safely vulnerable in a way that stands your relationship on solid ground.

I understand that navigating relationship issues can be incredibly challenging, affecting both your emotional health and the quality of your partnership. In our couples counselling sessions, we'll establish a safe environment for open dialogue, employing the Gottman Method to identify and address the root causes of your conflicts. This evidence-based approach focuses on improving communication, building empathy, and fostering mutual respect. While the journey to a healthier relationship may take time and commitment from both sides, there's genuine hope for renewal and happiness. Together, we can work towards a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

The Gottman Method helps couples break out of painful cycles by applying research from over 3,000 couples—studying both those who thrive and those who divorce—to identify what makes relationships work. In Gottman couples therapy, we'll identify patterns eroding your intimacy—like criticism, defensiveness, or stonewalling—and replace them with healthier ways of relating. You'll learn practical, evidence-based skills for expressing needs, listening deeply, navigating conflict constructively, and repairing hurt. Whether experiencing frequent arguments, feeling disconnected, or facing major challenges, you'll gain concrete tools to rebuild connection, taking your relationship on a new trajectory

Couples counselling focuses on developing strong communication skills, conflict resolution techniques, forgiveness, and effective dialogue. Many couples experience frustration at some point in their relationship where they feel they are not heard, valued or even loved any more. A toxic cycle of blaming, fighting and pulling away begins to form, creating distance and fatigue. For others an affair has shaken the very core of the safety and love they once felt in their relationship. It can be an agonizing and terrifying discovery for the partner who has been betrayed, and strong feelings of guilt, shame and a lack of understanding to how it even happened for the offending partner. Whether you are looking for a tune up to build back the excitement and...(view profile to read more)

Communication styles and building constructive communication skills are key to improving any relationship. One lesson we cannot overlook from the teachings of Sue Johnson in her Emotionally Focussed Therapy is that learning to really listen to your partner, learning to empathize and really hear what your partner is telling you by their words and behaviours, is paramount in constructive communications. Couples often get caught in a spin cycle where we stop listening and simply vent, react or ignore. We can always do better and few are more keenly motivated to return to trust, intimacy, sharing and cooperation than couples.