Great Couples Counselling in Shawnigan Lake, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

i have over 30 years dealing with couples issues and have facilitated many healing relationships. The focus of this work is on recognizing some of the communications that create distance and resentments because members of a couple resort to protecting themselves from fear or pain rather than opening to the truth of what they are experiencing. Once a couple recognizes the value of sharing what is really going on and exploring their differences the intimacy and love returns. I also facilitate an active listening process where each person really listens to the other person without interupting or contradicting. After a bit of practise many couples report that this promotes postive changes.

I work with couples using Gottman Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Therapy. I will help you identify your maladaptive patterns of behaviour and improve your communication skills. There is no shame in getting some coaching in how we connect with each other and how we can better meet each others needs. I use a strengths based approach to help you see the positives and remember why you fell in love.

Couples seek counselling for multiple reasons – from fighting and frustration to affairs or intimacy. Sometimes partners sense their relationship could just be better. Virtually all challenged relationships can be improved with better communications. Together we will explore and expand our communication skills, and practice them in a supportive and safe environment. Talking through the personal issues that each partner brings to the relationship can help couples build intimacy and grow closer.

Many couples struggle with communication and "feeling heard". Over time a once happy and vibrant relationship can begin to decay through hurt feelings, anger, lack of attention, feeling valued, infidelity, the strain of children, childhood issues, and much more. We focus to heal the wounds of the past and rebuild the love and trust within the relationship. We work to equip both partners with a voice and ability to effectively listen and hear one another. We will work together to establish individual boundaries within the relationship, while creating a stronger and healthier connection. Our goal is to equip each couple with the tools they require for success, independent of counselling

Seeking counselling for your relationship can bring you more clarity about habitual patterns, about your individual self and about your direction to move forward. I provide a safe and confidential place for you and your partner to talk to each other, explore your concerns and to be understood by each other. Sometimes this can involve learning communication skills to help you navigate conversations, tools to manage strong emotions and setting goals.

Couples have been studied extensively by amongst others Gottman, and this information helps us to look at where you are, to get a sense of the gaps that exist, and to explore systematically what is possible. If you find that you are fighting all the time, have lost confidence, want to hurt your partner, and you are miserable and feeling alone, you need to step back and take a fresh look. Many couples waste precious time in unsolvable power struggles resulting in broken communication and automatic negative responses. Although you may feel hopeless and don't know what to do, couples do manage to change every day. This is often hard to do and takes time, but can also be magical and rewarding.

I understand that navigating relationship issues can be incredibly challenging, affecting both your emotional health and the quality of your partnership. In our couples counselling sessions, we'll establish a safe environment for open dialogue, employing the Gottman Method to identify and address the root causes of your conflicts. This evidence-based approach focuses on improving communication, building empathy, and fostering mutual respect. While the journey to a healthier relationship may take time and commitment from both sides, there's genuine hope for renewal and happiness. Together, we can work towards a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

I believe couples counselling to be a healthy way to both prevent significant problems, and an important method of addressing and sifting through already challenging dynamics. Communication, intimacy, trust, respect and shared ideas, beliefs and life direction are some of what often bring couples to counselling. I am non-judgemental and objective in my work with couples. It is of the utmost importance that each person feels safe, respected, valued and able to express themselves during sessions. Strong healthy relationships add meaning and satisfaction to life. I hope to assist couples in their journey to remain connected to one another.

Communication styles and building constructive communication skills are key to improving any relationship. One lesson we cannot overlook from the teachings of Sue Johnson in her Emotionally Focussed Therapy is that learning to really listen to your partner, learning to empathize and really hear what your partner is telling you by their words and behaviours, is paramount in constructive communications. Couples often get caught in a spin cycle where we stop listening and simply vent, react or ignore. We can always do better and few are more keenly motivated to return to trust, intimacy, sharing and cooperation than couples.

Thinking about getting married? Not the marriage type? Together learn more about yourself and the other you want to be with as we explore hopes, dreams, values, and beliefs. Master the art of negotiation and compromise in conflict, as well as the maintenance of healthy boundaries around those "big deal-breaker" issues. Couples of all types of configurations will learn about being an ally for each other as we work towards respect, love, collaborative problem solving and mutual understanding.

The Gottman Method helps couples break out of painful cycles by applying research from over 3,000 couples—studying both those who thrive and those who divorce—to identify what makes relationships work. In Gottman couples therapy, we'll identify patterns eroding your intimacy—like criticism, defensiveness, or stonewalling—and replace them with healthier ways of relating. You'll learn practical, evidence-based skills for expressing needs, listening deeply, navigating conflict constructively, and repairing hurt. Whether experiencing frequent arguments, feeling disconnected, or facing major challenges, you'll gain concrete tools to rebuild connection, taking your relationship on a new trajectory

Couples can mean a lot of things: a romantic couple, two siblings, a parent/child, or even two friends struggling to connect. Love so often gets buried in untold stories, repressed needs, and personal insecurities. We all long to connect with each other, be accepted for who we are by those we love and yet often we don’t know how to give or receive love because we were never taught. I provide a safe space for partners to really hear and see each other, so they may learn to connect better. I may use concepts from internal family systems, emotionally-focused couples therapy or the Gottmans to help guide the process. Ready to improve your relationship? Let’s get started.

All couples, gay, heterosexual, lesbian, or Bi-sexual are respectfully welcomed. Most frequent issues presented by all couples include sexuality, financial struggles, parenting issues and communication problems. Sexuality probably presents as the most common concern. Some issues are polyamory, impotence, lack of desire, sexual addiction, indidelity, sexual trauma and abuse and incest. Dr. Graham's clients find her easy to talk to and discussion is frank and respectful. Some couples are struggling with questions concerning whether or when to have children and infertily. Most couples have the goal to strengthen their bond but others need support to end an unhappy relationship.