Great Couples Counselling in Colwood, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

I work with couples using Gottman Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Therapy. I will help you identify your maladaptive patterns of behaviour and improve your communication skills. There is no shame in getting some coaching in how we connect with each other and how we can better meet each others needs. I use a strengths based approach to help you see the positives and remember why you fell in love.

The Gottman Method helps couples break out of painful cycles by applying research from over 3,000 couples—studying both those who thrive and those who divorce—to identify what makes relationships work. In Gottman couples therapy, we'll identify patterns eroding your intimacy—like criticism, defensiveness, or stonewalling—and replace them with healthier ways of relating. You'll learn practical, evidence-based skills for expressing needs, listening deeply, navigating conflict constructively, and repairing hurt. Whether experiencing frequent arguments, feeling disconnected, or facing major challenges, you'll gain concrete tools to rebuild connection, taking your relationship on a new trajectory

Healing and growing in our sexuality & eroticism can help us understand ourselves and our partners in ways we may have never been privileged to before. It opens us to the appreciation of the full depth and breadth of human erotic expression. I work with individuals and couples. My approach is informed by training as an Erotic Blueprint Coach, somatic attachment and conscious kink. All forms of love, relationship structures, and sexual expression welcome.

If you're looking to improve your relationship, we'd work together to create a supportive environment for discussion, allowing each of you to share your perspective and experience. With important conversations and empathetic questions, there's opportunity to truly see each other and to collaborate to resolve the issues rather than engaging in blame. Together, we'd uncover experiences that promote mutual understanding, empathy and appreciation. Through this process you'll gain insights, develop new ways of communicating, strengthen your connection and establish a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.

In couples counselling, I would use a combination of an EFT approach as well as the Gottman Method which validated extensively couples, and has been shown to be two of the most successful approaches to help manage couples problems. Using these evidence-based techniques, we would explore the attachment style of each partner, determine the patterns of behaviour between the two individuals and the negative cycle that they are in. We would evaluate cultural factors if there are any, and of course focus on the core issues that the couple presents with. As a marriage counsellor, I would also use EFT and Gottman techniques to identify keys interactions and cycles in the relationship.

My experience is that we all have a deep and powerful urge to bond emotionally with another who will offer us safety and acceptance. Our first experiences of love and attachment in our families set the scene and form our future expectations and sense of deserving (or not) of care and care-taking. Our Couples and Relationship work will be informed by Sue Johnson's "Emotionally Focused Therapy". We will explore each partner's early experiences of attachment. Slowly and gently we will work toward how to re-capture and ignite the flame of love, care and wonder that first drew you to the other.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php