Great Couples Counselling in Esquimalt, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

i have over 30 years dealing with couples issues and have facilitated many healing relationships. The focus of this work is on recognizing some of the communications that create distance and resentments because members of a couple resort to protecting themselves from fear or pain rather than opening to the truth of what they are experiencing. Once a couple recognizes the value of sharing what is really going on and exploring their differences the intimacy and love returns. I also facilitate an active listening process where each person really listens to the other person without interupting or contradicting. After a bit of practise many couples report that this promotes postive changes.

My approach to couples counselling integrates Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Gottman Method principles to create a balanced, supportive, and practical path toward change. I help partners slow down, understand the emotions and attachment needs driving their conflict, and reshape negative cycles into moments of connection. At the same time, I offer clear, evidence-based tools for communication, repair, and strengthening of your relationship. Clients benefit from a space that feels structured yet compassionate—where they can safely explore their patterns, learn new skills, and build a more secure, intimate, and resilient bond.

My experience is that we all have a deep and powerful urge to bond emotionally with another who will offer us safety and acceptance. Our first experiences of love and attachment in our families set the scene and form our future expectations and sense of deserving (or not) of care and care-taking. Our Couples and Relationship work will be informed by Sue Johnson's "Emotionally Focused Therapy". We will explore each partner's early experiences of attachment. Slowly and gently we will work toward how to re-capture and ignite the flame of love, care and wonder that first drew you to the other.

I work with couples using Gottman Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Therapy. I will help you identify your maladaptive patterns of behaviour and improve your communication skills. There is no shame in getting some coaching in how we connect with each other and how we can better meet each others needs. I use a strengths based approach to help you see the positives and remember why you fell in love.

I believe couples counselling to be a healthy way to both prevent significant problems, and an important method of addressing and sifting through already challenging dynamics. Communication, intimacy, trust, respect and shared ideas, beliefs and life direction are some of what often bring couples to counselling. I am non-judgemental and objective in my work with couples. It is of the utmost importance that each person feels safe, respected, valued and able to express themselves during sessions. Strong healthy relationships add meaning and satisfaction to life. I hope to assist couples in their journey to remain connected to one another.

In couples counselling, I would use a combination of an EFT approach as well as the Gottman Method which validated extensively couples, and has been shown to be two of the most successful approaches to help manage couples problems. Using these evidence-based techniques, we would explore the attachment style of each partner, determine the patterns of behaviour between the two individuals and the negative cycle that they are in. We would evaluate cultural factors if there are any, and of course focus on the core issues that the couple presents with. As a marriage counsellor, I would also use EFT and Gottman techniques to identify keys interactions and cycles in the relationship.

Being in a relationship can be both deeply rewarding and, at times, very challenging. Couples counselling with Laurie offers the opportunity to strengthen your bond by increasing intimacy, rebuilding trust, and enhancing both personal and relationship satisfaction. Laurie helps partners develop more effective ways of expressing needs and working through differences, so that both individuals feel heard and supported. When couples are able to rely on and count on each other, they often experience greater harmony, closeness, and contentment in their relationship.

Couples counselling focuses on developing strong communication skills, conflict resolution techniques, forgiveness, and effective dialogue. Many couples experience frustration at some point in their relationship where they feel they are not heard, valued or even loved any more. A toxic cycle of blaming, fighting and pulling away begins to form, creating distance and fatigue. For others an affair has shaken the very core of the safety and love they once felt in their relationship. It can be an agonizing and terrifying discovery for the partner who has been betrayed, and strong feelings of guilt, shame and a lack of understanding to how it even happened for the offending partner. Whether you are looking for a tune up to build back the excitement and...(view profile to read more)

Thinking about getting married? Not the marriage type? Together learn more about yourself and the other you want to be with as we explore hopes, dreams, values, and beliefs. Master the art of negotiation and compromise in conflict, as well as the maintenance of healthy boundaries around those "big deal-breaker" issues. Couples of all types of configurations will learn about being an ally for each other as we work towards respect, love, collaborative problem solving and mutual understanding.

Shelley helps couples to enhance their communication, create safety and connection, heal past hurts and frustrations, and restore passion and playfulness. Through the Intentional Dialogue couples learn how to hear each other's perspective with compassion and empathy. With Shelley's guidance, couples can gain more understanding and awareness about the conflicts, and explore the dynamics that are stopping them from getting the love that they want. Couples learn to focus on the positive aspects of each other, and build on the strengths of their relationship, as well as work through the issues, in a safe and connected way, which promotes healing and growth.

Being connected to our partners is a great thing – but this closeness can get so complicated! Intimate partners hold a lot of power to disappoint us. How do we get into sync, and get what we need to stay invested? It is hard to manage disappointment. We can sometimes give up too much, agree to things we don’t want – or we go the other way, and start bullying the other person. Both of those are strategies to preserve your connection. Is your strategy working for you? In counselling, I help you clarify what is going on for you, what you both want, and what you can possibly do to get there. I create a safe, easy space to check out your relationship – it may be more fun than you think!

Each relationship faces unique hurdles and holds unique potential for growth. By skillfully tuning in to each other's inner worlds, learning new ways of being together and strategies for navigating conflict, we'll resolve what is hindering you. We’ll get creative and collaborate on new possibilities. Intimate relationships can bring out the deepest parts of ourselves and ignite personal transformation. Learning about how we relate is key to learning about ourselves and each other.

Couples can mean a lot of things: a romantic couple, two siblings, a parent/child, or even two friends struggling to connect. Love so often gets buried in untold stories, repressed needs, and personal insecurities. We all long to connect with each other, be accepted for who we are by those we love and yet often we don’t know how to give or receive love because we were never taught. I provide a safe space for partners to really hear and see each other, so they may learn to connect better. I may use concepts from internal family systems, emotionally-focused couples therapy or the Gottmans to help guide the process. Ready to improve your relationship? Let’s get started.

Olivia is deeply passionate about helping couples at every stage of their relationship. Her true heart lies in supporting couples to enhance their connection, foster healing, and restore their bond. Olivia combines her extensive experience in counseling with practical tools to equip couples with effective communication, conflict resolution, and relationship-building strategies. She also has a unique ability to address deeper-rooted issues, guiding partners to uncover and resolve underlying patterns that may be causing strain. Whether helping couples prepare for a lifetime together or overcome hardships, Olivia is committed to nurturing growth, understanding, and lasting restoration.

For a relationship to really thrive, both people in the relationship need to thrive. I focus on the personal growth of each individual in the couple as the foundation for a healthy and happy life together. By bringing out the unique gifts and qualities of each person, the relationship can have its best chances. Once both people are ready for the work of couples therapy, we can work on communication, intimacy, vulnerability, availability, balance, and showing up for each other.

Communication styles and building constructive communication skills are key to improving any relationship. One lesson we cannot overlook from the teachings of Sue Johnson in her Emotionally Focussed Therapy is that learning to really listen to your partner, learning to empathize and really hear what your partner is telling you by their words and behaviours, is paramount in constructive communications. Couples often get caught in a spin cycle where we stop listening and simply vent, react or ignore. We can always do better and few are more keenly motivated to return to trust, intimacy, sharing and cooperation than couples.

Couples seek counselling for multiple reasons – from fighting and frustration to affairs or intimacy. Sometimes partners sense their relationship could just be better. Virtually all challenged relationships can be improved with better communications. Together we will explore and expand our communication skills, and practice them in a supportive and safe environment. Talking through the personal issues that each partner brings to the relationship can help couples build intimacy and grow closer.

The Gottman Method helps couples break out of painful cycles by applying research from over 3,000 couples—studying both those who thrive and those who divorce—to identify what makes relationships work. In Gottman couples therapy, we'll identify patterns eroding your intimacy—like criticism, defensiveness, or stonewalling—and replace them with healthier ways of relating. You'll learn practical, evidence-based skills for expressing needs, listening deeply, navigating conflict constructively, and repairing hurt. Whether experiencing frequent arguments, feeling disconnected, or facing major challenges, you'll gain concrete tools to rebuild connection, taking your relationship on a new trajectory

Couples counselling can offer benefits to partners in every stage of their relationship. Dating, engaged, or married, relationship counselling can help build, strengthen or repair your connection with one another. Working with Linda Duarte, Kathryn McInroy or Andee Dale at Gravitate Counselling Inc. can help you and your partner build a strong foundation, discuss important relationship topics, work through challenges, change existing patterns to something that works better for both of you, or adjust to a new season in your relationship. We can also help with co-parenting conversations and when couples decide to end their relationship.

I understand that navigating relationship issues can be incredibly challenging, affecting both your emotional health and the quality of your partnership. In our couples counselling sessions, we'll establish a safe environment for open dialogue, employing the Gottman Method to identify and address the root causes of your conflicts. This evidence-based approach focuses on improving communication, building empathy, and fostering mutual respect. While the journey to a healthier relationship may take time and commitment from both sides, there's genuine hope for renewal and happiness. Together, we can work towards a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

Couples seek counselling for a variety of reasons. Life brings an assortment of challenges, and it can be difficult to know how to support each other along the way. Our circumstances, family structure, families of origin, busy schedules, childcare, and career demands are just a few of stressors that couples find themselves navigating. I’ll work with you to understand your unique challenges. I'll help you find new strength in your relationship so that you can face today’s, and tomorrow’s, challenges together. Contact today to schedule a free 15 minute consultation.

Seeking counselling for your relationship can bring you more clarity about habitual patterns, about your individual self and about your direction to move forward. I provide a safe and confidential place for you and your partner to talk to each other, explore your concerns and to be understood by each other. Sometimes this can involve learning communication skills to help you navigate conversations, tools to manage strong emotions and setting goals.

All couples, gay, heterosexual, lesbian, or Bi-sexual are respectfully welcomed. Most frequent issues presented by all couples include sexuality, financial struggles, parenting issues and communication problems. Sexuality probably presents as the most common concern. Some issues are polyamory, impotence, lack of desire, sexual addiction, indidelity, sexual trauma and abuse and incest. Dr. Graham's clients find her easy to talk to and discussion is frank and respectful. Some couples are struggling with questions concerning whether or when to have children and infertily. Most couples have the goal to strengthen their bond but others need support to end an unhappy relationship.

Healing and growing in our sexuality & eroticism can help us understand ourselves and our partners in ways we may have never been privileged to before. It opens us to the appreciation of the full depth and breadth of human erotic expression. I work with individuals and couples. My approach is informed by training as an Erotic Blueprint Coach, somatic attachment and conscious kink. All forms of love, relationship structures, and sexual expression welcome.

Dr Sloat's couples counselling is based on the belief that we are all in this world to be happy, and in order to be happy we must have our needs met. When in relationships, people sometimes fail to get their needs met, and when this happens there is conflict and discord. Dr Sloat helps people to clarify and articulate their needs in relation to their partners, and thus facilitates harmony between them. She does not take sides, but instead focuses on helping partners to renegotiate and/or redefine their relationships such that they become viable on both sides. Also see - http://CouplesCounsellingVictoria.info