Family Counselling Services in Courtenay, BC.

The dynamics within our family contribute to our inner narrative of how we see ourselves and who we are. From an attachment theory framework I look the connection between parents and children to facilitate better understanding of how each member might function in the larger social realm. I love seeing the impact of family therapy after a family has expressed a struggle with a child's behaviour when they are empowered to see their own part in it and that there are things they can do to support eachother.

Despite the best intentions of ourselves and our family members, we are often tangled in patterns of invalidation, rejection, frustration and blame. It can feel so messy that we operate in a constant state of fear and a crippling sense of unworthiness. I’ve worked as a family therapist for 6 years. I offer a safe and non-judgmental space for all voices to be respectfully heard, while helping to identify bigger ‘systems’ patterns that keep you stuck in pain and finger-pointing. I will help to smooth out communication, make room for wants and needs and to heal the old wounds.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Today family can mean different things to different people. Each family structure is challenged with their own set of difficulties and problems. Whether you are a blended family, single parent family due to divorce or loss, adoptive family, same sex parents, or traditional, we recognize family dynamics can be complicated. Together we will work to develop strong communication skills between each family member, while nurturing and solidifying the family unit. We will work to overcome conflict, heal the wounds of the past, build parenting skills and create a safe environment where all family members can be heard.

Families who are finding it difficult to communicate in a respectful and healthy way benefit from cognitive behavioural programs. Parents and their children learn how to be flexible in their thinking, manage their emotions and moderate their behaviour. Children learn their role in the family, how to stay out of the middle and how to cope with family stress.

Family therapy can be helpful to enhance family communications and address various behavioural issues that may be affecting the entire family. Benefits often include improved communication, learning about collaborative problem-solving, exploring various coping skills used by individual family members and a heightened sense of connection to one another. The approach is based on systems theory and uses various methods depending on the situation including cognitive-behavioral and solution focused techniques. There are times in life when life is stressful such as during financial hardship, deaths or divorces which may affect family functioning.

Families can be complicated, and being able to speak about issues in a safe environment is an excellent way to work towards more respectful and supportive relationships. It is important to hear the voice and story of each family member in order to understand the full picture of the problem. I believe a successful home life depends on the quality of the relationships and sometimes communication can get in the way of that. Using a Systemic Family Therapy model the goal is to understand unhelpful patterns and support families in breaking them.