Anger Management and Counselling in Courtenay, BC.

Anger is an emotion that we all have experienced – it is natural, normal and healthy. However if it gets to be too much it can become destructive and damaging to those around us and ourselves. It can lead to problems in our personal lives as well as at work and play. How we express our anger can be the key to learning to better manage our angry emotions. Anger is a biological reaction and yet we can learn to manage it better. We can learn to express what we are feeling and to use various calming strategies that help us to identify our triggers and learn to control our reactions. The benefits to learning manage our anger are endless and often life transforming.

You did it again. You lost your cool and you blew up. And this time, the consequences are serious. Your job is at risk, your family is hurt, or your partner has finally said, “this is it.” But for some reason, you just can’t seem to stop it. One minute you’re fine, then BOOM – 0 to 100. Know this: there is a path to change. Using evidence-based and cutting-edge techniques, I can help you: cool down from intense stress, communicate with others in a way that inspires both love AND respect, catch anger-flare-ups (before they happen), and have healthy outlets for when they do. Together let's keep your relationships, career, and emotions in harmony. There is an answer to anger.

Anger is generally masking other feelings beneath it. By exploring our family dynamics and history we can come to an understanding of the underlying feelings that trigger our anger and the thought processes and inner narrative we've built around it. I use an MCBT approach to facilitate this process. Enabling people time to think about consequences and their emotional triggers before reacting is part of my process.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

Anger is a healthy and natural emotion. There is a time and place for anger (victimization); however, when we use anger to try to control our environment, it causes us problems in our personal and professional lives. Anger will control the way you think and distorted thinking affects behaviour in negative ways. Our counsellors will help you learn what is in your control to change and help you let go of the rest. For many, the anger response is as natural as needing to scratch when we have an itch. Clients will learn the skills and tools necessary to clean up their distorted thinking and beliefs and learn to improve their overall happiness.

Anger is a powerful emotion that often gets a bad reputation. If you are struggling with anger, one of the most important things to do is to hear the messages anger has for you. I have worked with anger with many clients and truly believe that understanding the deeper layers underneath anger is imperative. I will work with you to process anger and help you uncover what is going on deeper.