Anger Management and Counselling in Merville, BC.

If you have ADHD, you may notice that anger or frustration arises more quickly or intensely than you expect. This is common for adults with ADHD because the brain’s executive functioning and emotional regulation systems can make it harder to manage strong emotions, respond to stress, or pause before reacting. In therapy, I take a strength-based, affirming approach to help you understand these patterns and develop strategies, coping tools, and practical systems that work with your brain. Together, we’ll help you manage anger more effectively, respond to challenges with greater calm and clarity, and build emotional resilience while honoring your experience.

Anger is an emotion that we all have experienced – it is natural, normal and healthy. However if it gets to be too much it can become destructive and damaging to those around us and ourselves. It can lead to problems in our personal lives as well as at work and play. How we express our anger can be the key to learning to better manage our angry emotions. Anger is a biological reaction and yet we can learn to manage it better. We can learn to express what we are feeling and to use various calming strategies that help us to identify our triggers and learn to control our reactions. The benefits to learning manage our anger are endless and often life transforming.

Anger is one of the core emotions that all of us experience in our life - it can be a helpful emotion to explore in counselling because it tells us what is most important to us. However, when we don't understand where our anger comes from, or what role it plays in our life, it's hard for us to manage the actions that often come along with that feeling. Counselling with me can help you to cultivate awareness about your anger, which helps you choose what actions to take when you experience it.

When anger gets the best of us, we can say and/or do things that we later wish we could change or take back. Anger is an instinctive universal emotion, one in which we all have, but not all expressions of anger have to be hurt. In fact, anger works as a great informant and can motivate us to take action to improve our own lives and the lives of people that we care about.

If you find yourself snapping at loved ones and feeling awful afterward, I help you step back, understand what’s underneath your reactions, and respond with greater clarity and control. When you keep saying, “I should be able to handle this,” but can’t, I help you stop hiding and start healing. And if your relationships feel like walking on eggshells, I guide you toward deeper trust, safer communication, and genuine connection. Real change begins here.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

In anger management, we start with your story: understanding your concerns, what triggers your anger, and how it's impacting you and your loved ones. Often anger affects relationships, work, or your wellbeing in ways that feel out of control. Together we'll build awareness about the patterns and underlying emotions driving your anger. Sometimes it masks hurt, frustration, or feeling unheard. Then we work on practical strategies: recognizing early warning signs, reframing triggering situations, and developing healthier ways to express feelings. Our therapeutic relationship provides the foundation where you bring knowledge of yourself and I bring clinical perspective. You'll learn to respond rather than react, communicate more effectively, and regain control of your emotions.

Anger is called a secondary emotion, brought on by a triggering event and or thought. What I'm interested in was a therapist, is what is behind the trigger. What are the fears, the needs that aren't being met. By identifying different triggers, and the the triggering thoughts behind them, we can depersonalize a situation so that it simply becomes a problem to be solved, without fault or blame, and discover alternative thoughts and behaviours that lead a path to better choices, without shame or guilt.

At Soul Fire Counselling, we understand that managing anger can be a challenging journey, but you don't have to face it alone. Our personalized anger management program is designed to help you identify triggers, develop healthier coping strategies, and cultivate emotional resilience. Through a combination of evidence-based techniques and compassionate support, we empower you to transform anger into a positive force for change. Let us guide you towards a more balanced and peaceful life, where you can thrive emotionally and relationally.

Olivia is skilled in helping clients work through anger issues, guiding them to understand the underlying causes and triggers behind their emotions. She uses a cognitive behavioural approach to help clients manage their anger in the immediate moment, offering practical strategies to respond constructively. Olivia collaborates with clients to identify support networks that can provide ongoing care. Her compassionate and non-judgmental approach fosters self-awareness and empowers clients to channel their anger in healthier ways, promoting personal growth and stronger relationships. Through her guidance, clients develop tools to manage their emotions and build a foundation for lasting change.