Anger Management and Counselling in Cumberland, BC.

Anger is an emotion that we all have experienced – it is natural, normal and healthy. However if it gets to be too much it can become destructive and damaging to those around us and ourselves. It can lead to problems in our personal lives as well as at work and play. How we express our anger can be the key to learning to better manage our angry emotions. Anger is a biological reaction and yet we can learn to manage it better. We can learn to express what we are feeling and to use various calming strategies that help us to identify our triggers and learn to control our reactions. The benefits to learning manage our anger are endless and often life transforming.

You did it again. You lost your cool and you blew up. And this time, the consequences are serious. Your job is at risk, your family is hurt, or your partner has finally said, “this is it.” Yet, for some reason, you just can’t seem to stop it. One minute you’re fine, then BOOM... 0 to 100. Know this: there is a path to change. Using evidence-based and cutting-edge techniques, I can help you: cool down from intense stress, communicate with others in a way that inspires both love and respect, catch anger-flare-ups (before they happen), and have healthy outlets for intense feelings. Together let's keep your relationships, career, and emotions in harmony. There is an answer to anger.

Anger and violence are wildly misunderstood issues. I believe that it is important to explore the context in which the anger or violence occurs. For example, does it happen at home, or at work, or in public? Who is impacted by the anger or violence? How do the individuals who are impacted resist and respond to the anger/violence? Through counselling we will explore the context of the interactions. Once we understand the context (who is doing what to who?) I will respectfully invite responsibility taking and strategies for more helpful communication and responses.

My approach is to use a step-by-step process that follows an evidence based approach: goal setting; self awareness; cognitive reframing; behavioural modification; review of progress. Fundamental to the work is a good therapeutic relationship. That is, we have the collaboration and trust to combine your knowledge of yourself and your situation and my skills and knowledge of the clinical issues to make change happen.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Our anger can be a sentry, a protector and a wise indicator that our boundaries have been transgressed or that something vitally important to us is threatened. It can also be a raging tyrant, a short fuse, a simmering internalisation that off-gases through passive-aggression, or a childish tantrum. Becoming intimate with our anger is synonymous with becoming intimidate with our power. In anger therapy, we will work to understand the unique way your anger process happens through somatic awareness, mindfulness and emotional intimacy. We will look at your history with anger, your family lineage, and you will learn tools to channel this fire in ways that support rather than hinder your life.

Anger is generally masking other feelings beneath it. By exploring our family dynamics and history we can come to an understanding of the underlying feelings that trigger our anger and the thought processes and inner narrative we've built around it. I use an MCBT approach to facilitate this process. Enabling people time to think about consequences and their emotional triggers before reacting is part of my process.

Anger is called a secondary emotion, brought on by a triggering event and or thought. What I'm interested in was a therapist, is what is behind the trigger. What are the fears, the needs that aren't being met. By identifying different triggers, and the the triggering thoughts behind them, we can depersonalize a situation so that it simply becomes a problem to be solved, without fault or blame, and discover alternative thoughts and behaviours that lead a path to better choices, without shame or guilt.