Grief and Loss Counselling in View Royal, BC.

Through safety, support and compassion, Shelley helps her clients through the difficult process of grief and loss. Encouraging clients to be compassionate towards themselves, as well as promoting self care as they move through the different stages of grief. Shelley normalizes and teaches clients about the grief process as she holds out the possibilities of hope and recovery from this painful period of time. Shelley helps clients to find meaning and purpose as they embrace their grief with the underpinnings of growth and healing.

Losing someone through a relationship break up, the loss of life, or a major change in life circumstances can be the most profoundly sad experiences we endure in this life. A loss may feel insurmountable or you may be numb, rejecting the loss, avoiding the suffering that comes with acknowledging a new reality. It is sad but true that suffering is a part of human existence. But so is joy, happiness and contentment. Counselling can help you understand what you need in order to grieve. Recognizing the importance of your loss, accepting it and making plans for moving forward can help you continue on your path and learn to cope and survive your grief.

In grief and loss counseling, I create a flexible space that adapts to your needs. Whether you need patient listening or feel stuck and need guidance through open-ended questions, I meet you where you are. I'm genuinely curious about understanding you as a whole person and your unique loss—there's no shallow or rushed approach here, no platitudes or quick fixes. Something resourceful I offer is a therapeutic goodbye letter adapted from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's work, helping you express complex, contradictory emotions—what you regret and don't regret, miss and don't miss. What makes this different is it honors the fullness of ambivalent feelings. Clients report feeling truly heard, not judged or rushed, as they move forward in their own time.

I will listen to the client's accounts of their loss. identifying the critical issues that are involved and validating their loss. The I will contextualize the loss(es) in terms of the meaning it has upon their life, and the general issues that are involved. Usually, I outline the stages of the grieving process and prepare the client for this, including some assignments that will assist them inexperiencing their losses and letting go eventually. This is avery delicate and intimate sharing process which I try to remain sensitive to as we proceed.

Grief and loss can be all consuming in one's life. Therapy can move you through the pain to a place of honouring that which was lost. Our body holds onto grief. Instead of "leaving it all behind", healthy grieving is a way of creating space to carry forward the helpful and beautiful essence of people, moments, events and items that are important to us.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Our natural response to any loss is to grieve. Maybe there is grief for a loved one, for a broken promise or betrayed trust, for lost opportunities, for the suffering of another, for the end of a relationship, or the loss of a job. It can be a complicated process involving a complex (and often confusing) array of painful feelings that often affect us on all levels - mind, body and spirit. In my practice, I help people to work through the mourning process, exploring ways to honor their loss, and begin to adapt to changes and new realities. Maybe together, we can find a way through.

I use my own experience of loss and relevant therapeutic insights to guide you through the grieving process. When your grief hurts those closest to you or interferes with your day to day functioning, you need to give attention to your hurt. This is where a trained outsider can be of help. We all go through similar stages of grief when faced with a significant loss, but in our own unique way. We need to take the time and address what is possible at each moment. By making sense of where you are in the grieving process, clarifying your beliefs and expectations of how much time grieving should take and what the end result should be, you will be able to integrate your experience.

I believe that grief and loss are part of being human. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, though. Whether you’re mourning the death of a loved one, grieving the loss of a relationship or a dream for the future, grief and loss are the cold, marble floors upon which our hearts shatter. Our task is to surrender to the lessons they have to teach us and put ourselves back together with the help of that new-found knowledge. And no, I don’t think grief ever goes away. But I do believe we can integrate it into the tapestry of our lives to create a richer, more meaningful experience. That’ll be part of the work we do together. Ready for a different relationship to grief and loss? Let’s get started.

Grief and loss can feel overwhelming and isolating, but you don’t have to face it alone. In therapy, I provide a compassionate, safe space to explore your unique experience, process difficult emotions, and find ways to heal at your own pace. Together, we’ll honor your journey, build resilience, and help you rediscover hope and meaning. If you’re ready, I’m here to walk alongside you through this challenging time.

Loss can break, alienate, initiate, and open. It can lead to oceans of feelings looming over us, a sense of being distanced from oneself and others—far away adrift at sea, rage at the injustice of loss, and even shame at experiencing rage. I can't predict what the waves may be like for you, but I can help you respond to them. Whether your instinct is to hold, brace, jump, dive, run, scream, float, or let the waves wash over you, together we can feel out what to do and what to make of it all.

Loss is an inevitable & deeply human part of life. If you live long enough, you will likely suffer loss of loved ones, relationships, health, valued identities, and ideals. You are not meant to grieve in isolation and reaching out for help is wise. Skilled support can allow you to be with loss in genuine ways and come to terms with difficult transitions. Despite the challenges, you can emerge with gifts of insight, meaning, and deepened connection to self & life. My approach is based in contemplative & depth psychotherapy, which helps you to cultivate mindful & compassionate awareness, open to life's mysteries, and make sense of the passages you navigate towards wholeness.

Working through grief and mourning, is often a long-term process. There can be a range of emotions, thoughts and physical experiences as you adjust to your life after a loss. Significant life changes may include the loss of a loved one, pet, relationship, pregnancy, job, divorce, a move and relationship. I can help by listening to however you need to speak about your loss, at anytime in your experiences. Mourning is a normal and very personal process that does not have a time limit. Yet, sometimes you may feel stuck and at those times, it can be helpful to use on EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to work through those sticking points.