Anger Management and Counseling in Long Beach, CA.

When I ask a child if anger is bad, their immediate answer is "yes". When I tell them it isn't bad, they look puzzled and horrified. I explain to them that it's what we do when we are angry that can make it bad or okay. I draw concepts from the book A Volcano in My Tummy to point out the helpful terms "clean" and "dirty" anger, i.e. punching a ball verses punching a teacher. I approach adults with the same concepts only on a more advanced level of course. God created us with a diverse set of emotions that signal warnings to us at times. Anger is one of those necessary emotions, but it does need to be released in healthy ways. I help clients explore acceptable ways to express it.

Anger when used appropriately can be a useful tool to give us the aggressive energy we need to take action when we are feeling helpless or victimized. Unfortunately, it is often misused and becomes abusive, creating whole new problems for relationships and careers. I work with clients to first learn to control their emotional expressions, define the underlying feelings creating the hostility, and learn new skills to better utilize their feelings to resolve conflict in more adult ways.

Clients from various backgrounds take many different approaches to think about, feel and express anger. However, when anger negatively impacts one’s relationships, it is important to explore what is contributing to an unhealthy experience of anger. In my collaboration with clients, we venture out to explore the conscious and unconscious factors that may need to be brought to light, in the context of perhaps other biopsychosocial (biological, psychological or social) factors that may need attention. Clients who learn to understand, better identify and manage their impulses, cultivate insight and explore opportunities to practice developing skills to have an improved sense of self-mastery.

With a partner, I have developed a new and effective model of anger management that teaches you eight proven tools for anger control. These skill-based tools include; (1) reducing stress in your life, (2) developing empathy, (3)learning to respond instead of react, (4) changing self-talk, (5) communicating assertively, (6) adjusting expectations, (7) learning to forgive, and (8) retreating and thinking things over. These tools are taught to clients both in individual consultation and in anger management classes. They are also taught in online anger management programs I have produced.

Rightful anger has an important place in life where and when it must be expressed. However, there are many forms of anger that are internally destructive and can become externally dangerous to ourselves and others. Some forms of anger come from long term contentious relationships and occurrences which can never go away or decrease in pain and agitation. Some forms of anger are explosive on the moment and other anger comes as a gradual escalating irritation that then reaches its limits. Counseling serves to teach skills of anger management and can defuse and even prevent out of control anger from erupting. Counseling is known to be very effective for addressing and safely controlling anger.

Anger management counseling will help you recognize what makes you angry, as well as many other intense emotions felt throughout the body. We will explore thought processes, triggers, raise awareness and provide tools for each individual case. Counseling will help create problem solving techniques as well as identify different communication styles (assertive vs. aggressive). Everyone feels angry, the anger is not the problem, rather the forms of expression.

If you and your partner are feeling emotionally disconnected, you may find yourself drawn into repeated arguments with each other about seemingly unrelated issues -- such as money, parenting, chores, and sex. Hiding within these disagreements are painful questions: Can I reach you? Do I matter to you? Can I count on you if I need you? Once these deep, hidden questions are calmed, and you both feel safe and loved, you and your partner will find it much easier to resolve other issues.

Do you feel angry all the time? Do your levels of frustration interfere with your work and personal relationships? Do you feel like you might explode? You do not have to go through this alone. Together, we will work to improve your frustration tolerance and to reclaim your life from your anger. By working from an evidence-based approach, we will help you to cope.

Anger is a healthy expression of emotion. When anger and rage become the dominating emotion that rules our actions, a potentially serious problem exists. When this occurs we feel out of control, even frightened by the intensity of feeling. Scared by life altering actions and repercussions. We become lost and confused. We know this is not me but yet it is. This mystery is solvable. Sometimes when negative experiences happen we hide and bury them, We do this so well we forget why the anger is there. Over the years these experiences multiply, fester and grow. A time bomb waiting to be triggered. We can help you unearth the issues, defuse and help you to dismantle the bomb. Call! We can help.

Anger is a common issue when you were raised by someone who was angry or you have trauma that causes your fear and anger to be easily triggered. I help you determine the root causes of your anger and treat both the symptom of anger and the root cause to maximize your success at overcoming anger! I also use proven anger management techniques in addition to holistic treatments for trauma, relationship problems, parenting, etc. I offer an individualized, holistic and creative approach to working with your anger issues. Call me! I can help!