Anger Management and Counseling in Long Beach, CA.

With a partner, I have developed a new and effective model of anger management that teaches you eight proven tools for anger control. These skill-based tools include; (1) reducing stress in your life, (2) developing empathy, (3)learning to respond instead of react, (4) changing self-talk, (5) communicating assertively, (6) adjusting expectations, (7) learning to forgive, and (8) retreating and thinking things over. These tools are taught to clients both in individual consultation and in anger management classes. They are also taught in online anger management programs I have produced.

Anger is a common issue when you were raised by someone who was angry or you have trauma that causes your fear and anger to be easily triggered. I help you determine the root causes of your anger and treat both the symptom of anger and the root cause to maximize your success at overcoming anger! I also use proven anger management techniques in addition to holistic treatments for trauma, relationship problems, parenting, etc. I offer an individualized, holistic and creative approach to working with your anger issues. Call me! I can help!

Anger is a healthy expression of emotion. When anger and rage become the dominating emotion that rules our actions, a potentially serious problem exists. When this occurs we feel out of control, even frightened by the intensity of feeling. Scared by life altering actions and repercussions. We become lost and confused. We know this is not me but yet it is. This mystery is solvable. Sometimes when negative experiences happen we hide and bury them, We do this so well we forget why the anger is there. Over the years these experiences multiply, fester and grow. A time bomb waiting to be triggered. We can help you unearth the issues, defuse and help you to dismantle the bomb. Call! We can help.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

When I ask a child if anger is bad, their immediate answer is "yes". When I tell them it isn't bad, they look puzzled and horrified. I explain to them that it's what we do when we are angry that can make it bad or okay. I draw concepts from the book A Volcano in My Tummy to point out the helpful terms "clean" and "dirty" anger, i.e. punching a ball verses punching a teacher. I approach adults with the same concepts only on a more advanced level of course. God created us with a diverse set of emotions that signal warnings to us at times. Anger is one of those necessary emotions, but it does need to be released in healthy ways. I help clients explore acceptable ways to express it.

Anger management counseling will help you recognize what makes you angry, as well as many other intense emotions felt throughout the body. We will explore thought processes, triggers, raise awareness and provide tools for each individual case. Counseling will help create problem solving techniques as well as identify different communication styles (assertive vs. aggressive). Everyone feels angry, the anger is not the problem, rather the forms of expression.

If you and your partner are feeling emotionally disconnected, you may find yourself drawn into repeated arguments with each other about seemingly unrelated issues -- such as money, parenting, chores, and sex. Hiding within these disagreements are painful questions: Can I reach you? Do I matter to you? Can I count on you if I need you? Once these deep, hidden questions are calmed, and you both feel safe and loved, you and your partner will find it much easier to resolve other issues.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I help people struggling with anger management by working with them to develop awareness of their anger experience in their body and mind and how it is impacting their body. I help you learn and practice strategies for regulating your body and mind so you do not lose control of the anger. I help you to learn healthy communication of anger, and the development of conflict resolution skills. I support you in exploring issues of transference from past relationships and experiences that may be contributing to your strong feelings of anger in present circumstances and relationships. We create safety, increase positive expression of anger, and reduce or eliminate sources of anger when possible!

Do you feel angry all the time? Do your levels of frustration interfere with your work and personal relationships? Do you feel like you might explode? You do not have to go through this alone. Together, we will work to improve your frustration tolerance and to reclaim your life from your anger. By working from an evidence-based approach, we will help you to cope.