Anger Management and Counseling in Long Beach, CA.

Anger is a common issue when you were raised by someone who was angry or you have trauma that causes your fear and anger to be easily triggered. I help you determine the root causes of your anger and treat both the symptom of anger and the root cause to maximize your success at overcoming anger! I also use proven anger management techniques in addition to holistic treatments for trauma, relationship problems, parenting, etc. I offer an individualized, holistic and creative approach to working with your anger issues. Call me! I can help!

Anger is a healthy expression of emotion. When anger and rage become the dominating emotion that rules our actions, a potentially serious problem exists. When this occurs we feel out of control, even frightened by the intensity of feeling. Scared by life altering actions and repercussions. We become lost and confused. We know this is not me but yet it is. This mystery is solvable. Sometimes when negative experiences happen we hide and bury them, We do this so well we forget why the anger is there. Over the years these experiences multiply, fester and grow. A time bomb waiting to be triggered. We can help you unearth the issues, defuse and help you to dismantle the bomb. Call! We can help.

If you and your partner are feeling emotionally disconnected, you may find yourself drawn into repeated arguments with each other about seemingly unrelated issues -- such as money, parenting, chores, and sex. Hiding within these disagreements are painful questions: Can I reach you? Do I matter to you? Can I count on you if I need you? Once these deep, hidden questions are calmed, and you both feel safe and loved, you and your partner will find it much easier to resolve other issues.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

With a partner, I have developed a new and effective model of anger management that teaches you eight proven tools for anger control. These skill-based tools include; (1) reducing stress in your life, (2) developing empathy, (3)learning to respond instead of react, (4) changing self-talk, (5) communicating assertively, (6) adjusting expectations, (7) learning to forgive, and (8) retreating and thinking things over. These tools are taught to clients both in individual consultation and in anger management classes. They are also taught in online anger management programs I have produced.

Anger when used appropriately can be a useful tool to give us the aggressive energy we need to take action when we are feeling helpless or victimized. Unfortunately, it is often misused and becomes abusive, creating whole new problems for relationships and careers. I work with clients to first learn to control their emotional expressions, define the underlying feelings creating the hostility, and learn new skills to better utilize their feelings to resolve conflict in more adult ways.

Rightful anger has an important place in life where and when it must be expressed. However, there are many forms of anger that are internally destructive and can become externally dangerous to ourselves and others. Some forms of anger come from long term contentious relationships and occurrences which can never go away or decrease in pain and agitation. Some forms of anger are explosive on the moment and other anger comes as a gradual escalating irritation that then reaches its limits. Counseling serves to teach skills of anger management and can defuse and even prevent out of control anger from erupting. Counseling is known to be very effective for addressing and safely controlling anger.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger management counseling will help you recognize what makes you angry, as well as many other intense emotions felt throughout the body. We will explore thought processes, triggers, raise awareness and provide tools for each individual case. Counseling will help create problem solving techniques as well as identify different communication styles (assertive vs. aggressive). Everyone feels angry, the anger is not the problem, rather the forms of expression.