Anger Management and Counseling in Lomita, CA.

Anger management isn't meant to rid you of anger, or "fix" your feelings. People who tell you that you feel "too much" or "shouldn't" feel a certain way may be uncomfortable with how you relay emotion, but that doesn't mean you need "fixing." I can help you learn how to work with, not against, your emotions -- whether anger or another strong sensation. The key is practicing forms of expression that support your highest interests rather than sabotaging yourself, your career, or personal relationships for the short-lived relief of either emotional outbursts or self-numbing. Instead, I can teach you to tap into the wisest parts of yourself, so that emotions and behavior synch up healthily.

Anger is a normal emotion. What often needs to be controlled is how we respond to our angry feelings. Our therapy work will include practical techniques of how to know when your anger is building and what triggers it in the first place. We will also explore if there's other overwhelming emotions that trigger your anger (sadness, anxiety, and embarrassment).

Anger is a legitimate emotion in response to injury or for self-defense. But if survival defenses are out of conscious control, it is then considered lack of impulse control. Your anger by passes the rational part of your brain and you react instantly without thinking or choosing how to react. In order to interrupt that automatic reaction, you must slow it down. Do that by taking deep breaths until you have calmed down and are able to make a rational decision of how to react.

Rightful anger has an important place in life where and when it must be expressed. However, there are many forms of anger that are internally destructive and can become externally dangerous to ourselves and others. Some forms of anger come from long term contentious relationships and occurrences which can never go away or decrease in pain and agitation. Some forms of anger are explosive on the moment and other anger comes as a gradual escalating irritation that then reaches its limits. Counseling serves to teach skills of anger management and can defuse and even prevent out of control anger from erupting. Counseling is known to be very effective for addressing and safely controlling anger.

We all get angry, but it’s how we express it that really makes the difference. Some people struggle with controlling their reaction to anger. They can either internalize it, which can lead to depression or they can externalize it, which could lead to outbursts and aggression. Both of these scenarios can be helped with learning some anger management techniques. I can help you learn to recognize your triggers and utilize your coping skills to slow down your reaction to anger so that you can identify the true reason for your feelings. Learning how to control them will result in more confidence, but will also allow you to have better relationships with those around you.

If you and your partner are feeling emotionally disconnected, you may find yourself drawn into repeated arguments with each other about seemingly unrelated issues -- such as money, parenting, chores, and sex. Hiding within these disagreements are painful questions: Can I reach you? Do I matter to you? Can I count on you if I need you? Once these deep, hidden questions are calmed, and you both feel safe and loved, you and your partner will find it much easier to resolve other issues.

I have witnessed first hand the radical transformation that comes with anger management counseling. So many men come into my office suffering from anger issues. Through working together collaboratively the anger dissipates, and what is underneath is usually much more nuanced then originally thought. Men and women suffer from anger differently. Anger Management counseling is a transformative process which creates space for ones' preferred identity to emerge.

Anger expressed in raw form, typically is destructive to relationships and hurts reputations. Raw anger can harm others and results in property damage, jail time, loss of children, divorce, or unemployment. In contrast, anger can be presented in honest but thoughtful ways, leading toward problem-solving and closer relationships. Each explosive angry moment is different. Each person vexed with chronic anger requires different tools and interventions. In order for an angry person to become calm, clear, trustworthy or even reliably loving -- deep work with past abuses, injustices may need reworking. Learning verbal skills & impulse control, help too. DrCarolFrancis.com and 310-543-1824.

With a partner, I have developed a new and effective model of anger management that teaches you eight proven tools for anger control. These skill-based tools include; (1) reducing stress in your life, (2) developing empathy, (3)learning to respond instead of react, (4) changing self-talk, (5) communicating assertively, (6) adjusting expectations, (7) learning to forgive, and (8) retreating and thinking things over. These tools are taught to clients both in individual consultation and in anger management classes. They are also taught in online anger management programs I have produced.

I have a great deal of experience working with anger issues and domestic violence situations. DV is especially important to address because of the reaction of the children pulled into this dynamic. Cognitive Behavioral methods are taught which are easy to implement. We will look for the source of anger and find different redirected behaviors to replace anger. Mindfullness and various relaxation methods will be discussed. However, you will have input and final say in setting goals and in laying out our approaches to dealing with anger. We work together as equals, without judment.

When I ask a child if anger is bad, their immediate answer is "yes". When I tell them it isn't bad, they look puzzled and horrified. I explain to them that it's what we do when we are angry that can make it bad or okay. I draw concepts from the book A Volcano in My Tummy to point out the helpful terms "clean" and "dirty" anger, i.e. punching a ball verses punching a teacher. I approach adults with the same concepts only on a more advanced level of course. God created us with a diverse set of emotions that signal warnings to us at times. Anger is one of those necessary emotions, but it does need to be released in healthy ways. I help clients explore acceptable ways to express it.

Anger is not wrong. How we hurt others or ourselves in anger is damaging. I work with clients to release their anger and frustration in healthy ways prior to interacting with anyone. We then work on how to release tension and understand their feelings so that when they discuss challenges they do not re-ignite and exacerbate the sitaution. We explore the cycle of anger and violence and create saftey measures so this cycle is altered. Self-responsibility is critical. We work on body relaxation, visualization, and breath work to help the client understand their body and utilize it more effectively.

I am a counselor specializing in grief and loss. When a loved one dies anger is often a feeling that looms large and can feel frightening. Anger at God, the person that died, the medical system or other people in your life is a normal feeling after a loss. As a bereavement therapist we will work together to understand these feelings and the myriad of other emotions that accompany a difficult transition.