Great Couples Counseling in Cheviot Hills, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

How do you rate your partner? Do you just KNOW your relationship could be better? With Kevin Bergen, you'll find a specialist who can get you over your hurdles to relationship bliss. Are you tired of arguing? Is trust a problem now? Has one of you checked out of the relationship? Feeling alone or more like roommates? Kevin understands what you're feeling. He understands each of you equally, he'll affirm you when your partner is off track, and kick your butt when it's you who's out of line. If you want understanding and honesty, call Kevin for your couple's needs.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Many couples present in distress with a strong desire to enhance their relationships. I like to work with communication styles as well as explore some old patterns of relating that may have their history in early childhood experiences with their own families. Being able to identify these old patterns of relating to a significant other can help couples to understand why they bring these old patterns into their current relationship. After these patterns are identified, new ways of relating and communicating are explored and practiced. Listening skills and acceptance are important areas of exploration throughout therapy as well. Couples find new & satisfying ways of relating with each other.

Couples come into counseling for various problems. Couples therapy can be very helpful to identify negative patterns of behavior which cause unhappiness, it also can point our strengths in the relationship which are causing a great deal of satisfaction in the relationship. I work from a Christian based Gottman model to help couples to quickly determine what is going wrong for them and help them to solve these issues and have the happy relationship they desire.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Do you feel like your relationship is in a rut? Are you struggling to intimately connect with your partner? Over the course of my 30 years as a psychotherapist, I have helped many couples build deeper emotional connections and stronger communication through Imago Relationship Therapy and Safe Conversations. Through couples counseling, you can heal and strengthen your bond learning to communicate more effectively and honestly with your partner. You can learn to fully express your needs and get what you truly desire out of your relationship.

All couples experience challenges. I specialize in helping couples through challenging times. Whether you are struggling with communication, sex and intimacy, or parenting, we work collaboratively to gain understanding and insight into the issue(s) so that the relationship can deepen and grow. I also help couples who are considering marriage and are not sure if they are a good fit. Even the best of relationships can feel difficult or discouraging at times. Together we can work through such difficulties so that your relationship can feel rejuvenated and fulfilling again.

Couples' therapy is a particular love of mine. The bond between intimate partners is compelling, powerful and hard-wired for us mammals, and the pain of missing our connections with one another is deep. Together, we can discover the patterns that don't work, and then join to find ways to reach out and respond to one another that bring security and joy.

Abby offers couples therapy designed to improve communication, deepen connection, and resolve conflicts in a supportive, nonjudgmental space. Using a trauma-informed, relational approach, she helps partners understand patterns, express needs, and rebuild trust. Abby guides couples in developing healthier ways to navigate challenges, strengthen intimacy, and create lasting, fulfilling relationships grounded in mutual respect and empathy.

Therapy offers a supportive environment where you can communicate in a safe way... learn to calm down, listen and validate the other person... become more aware of each other's over-reactions and vulnerabilities... understand each other's needs... clarify commonalities and differences in your relationship goals... negotiate, accept and move on to a better emotional state. By understanding and empathizing with both of you, I can provide you with insights, exercises and concrete skills to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship... or find the courage to end what cannot be repaired.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

Couples struggling with repeated conflict, emotional injuries, and feelings of loneliness will find solace and rejuvenation in the therapy process. My approach to couples counseling is centered on healing attachment wounds and fostering a deeper connection between partners. By creating a compassionate and non-judgmental space, I guide couples in uncovering the underlying emotions that have led to the disconnection. Together, we will work to develop effective communication skills, rebuild trust, and cultivate empathy. You will experience relief from past hurts and discover new pathways to improved relational functioning, leading to a more satisfying and harmonious partnership.

Couples therapy is about breaking painful cycles and rediscovering connection. Many couples come to me feeling stuck in the same arguments, exhausted by disconnection, or longing to feel like true partners again. I help couples identify hidden patterns, improve communication, and smooth out subtle misunderstandings that erode trust. With a direct but compassionate approach, I provide tools to rebuild closeness and strengthen teamwork. The goal is not blame, but clarity and connection—so couples leave therapy with greater trust, intimacy, and lasting calm in their relationship.