Great Couples Counseling in Lennox, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Married, dating, heterosexual, gay, or bisexual? I specialize in emotional intimacy, sex, addiction, and trauma, any of which can derail a relationship. You can heal your relationship or end it. I can help either way. Improve communication and handle conflicts better. Get your emotional baggage out of the way so it doesn’t hurt your relationship. Better for the couple and especially better when there are kids. Have kids and you’re divorcing? You’re still tied together. We can make that less damaging for everyone. Kids do better when their divorced parents work together for the kids’ best interest – dealing with emotions and communication better and not putting kids in the middle.

All couples will face challenges. Let's face it, it's hard to live with another person. Some conflict is healthy and normal. But when it seems like you're arguing all the time, feeling negative about your partner, or feeling disrespected, it is time for help. I will teach you positive communication techniques, ways to feel like a team again, and regain the love in your relationship.

Many people can benefit from couples therapy sessions, even if their relationships do not have obvious problems. People often wait until very late in the game before seeking help, often times after one or both have already decided to end the relationship. Seeking the help of a psychologist can strengthen the behavioral and emotional bonds that keep couples together. Couples therapy changes the way that couples behave with each other. Sessions focus on improving interactions and building resilience. By focusing on the “Three C’s” of intimacy (closeness, communication, and commitment), partners learn how to achieve intimacy with their romantic partners rather than isolation

Research shows that couples come to therapy an average of 6 YEARS later than when the problems started; accordingly, they can be very hostile at the beginning of treatment. I work with highly conflict couples to reduce the reactivity through making them aware of the meaning they make of their partner's behavior in relationship. I also do discernment counseling for couples who are undecided if they want to stay in their marriage; pre-marital counseling for couples who are considering the important step of marriage; blended family couples counseling for couples who are coming together with children from previous relationships; and coaching to help divorcing couples to uncouple amicably.

Relationships can be difficult. Intimacy can be uncomfortable. Communication can be strained. Even though 2 people love each other, sometimes that just is not enough. When I do couple's work, it is very important that both people feel heard and can express their thoughts and feelings openly. Sometimes, help is needed to assist the expression of these thoughts and feelings. I provide a safe and secure environment to allow this process to occur and hopefully, a couple can work through their issues together resulting in a stronger and more satisfying union.

As a couple certified in couples therapy, we understand betrayal, abandonment, feeling unappreciated, ignored, misunderstood, and having the same repeated fight. We know that troubles with family, finances, and substance use can strain even the healthiest of relationships. Our work as co-therapists in the room together brings balance and fairness so you can move through the rupture and into repair. We offer unique insight into how you can manage each other and life's challenges. Can you imagine feeling connected, making mutual agreements, experiencing intimacy and getting what you need from your partner without arguing over who is right? We can help.

Couples therapy can greatly enhance a couple’s communication patterns, identify specific ways to develop or regain trust, and help both partners feel heard and satisfied in the relationship. My role is to be an unbiased third party that can help the both of you gain awareness and understanding and develop healthier ways of dealing with the problems that brings you in. Investing in your relationship through counseling can be a valuable step in making important decisions and having the healthy relationship you desire.

What do you hope for with your partner? In couples therapy, we improve communication, bridge differences, and promote change. People come to couples therapy at many stages of relationship: pre-marital counseling; navigating differences in time management; blending households and families; birth of a child; infidelity; divorce -- any time a couple is seeking to change behaviors that are causing pain. When a life stressor has begun to affect your partnership in an unwanted way, or if you are seeking to be heard differently by your partner, the skills you learn in couples therapy will create a more mutually satisfying relationship.

According to a leading couple's therapist, David Schnarch, differentiation is a crucial aspect of intimacy for couples. My approach to couples therapy emphasizes the importance of differentiation in couple relationships. I believe that a healthy couple is one where individuals can share deeply personal parts of their selves with their partner, while also being secure enough to handle however their partner responds. This approach also incorporates exploration of attachment style and intergenerational relationships. I also incorporate aspects of Gottman therapy when treating couples and helping them to enhance intimacy and differentiation.

Every relationship experiences arguments and conflict. That is an inevitable part of being in an intimate relationship. These differences do not have to undermine a relationship so long as the underlying patterns of interaction which keep these conflicts active can be understood and resolved. As a specialist in couples counseling, I seek to help a couple identify these patterns and learn how to listen with understanding while promoting the authenticity of each individual. I use an emotionally focused treatment which allows a couple to work through their conflicts while enhancing their feelings of attachment and closeness. With 32 years of experience, I have helped many couples do this.

Practice communication skills to powerfully begin resolving those angry and blaming arguments. Write brief notes about what was said and have expert training to show your partner the love you feel and need. Learn how to express disagreements as well as affection that can transform your relationship. Find how to identify and manage the emotional baggage you are bringing to each other.

My approach to counseling couples is to believe that all people in relationships want two things: To be loved and to be accepted. When couples seek psychotherapy, they are fighting because they do not feel loved but instead are feeling rejected, abaondoned or alone. People also are not feeling accepted but instead are feeling judged, criticized, or blamed for who they are. Couples will benefit from my approach as I help people learn how to work through hurt, anger and blame, love and forgiveness, and boundaires and acceptance. When you feel loved and accepted, you will benefit from wanting to work with one another to solve relationship problems and find success in being a couple.

We have been sold a bad story about love. The truth is perfect is the enemy of the good in love and even in the good there are rough patches. But that doesn't mean you can't have a joyful and romantic relationship. I can help learn to handle painful relationships more effectively and engage fully in the process of living and loving together to build a life together.