Great Couples Counseling in Signal Hill, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Many couples find themselves having the same argument over and over in different forms, never quite reaching what it's really about. That repetition doesn't mean your relationship is broken; it means something underneath the surface hasn't been heard yet. I help you slow the cycle down and see what each of you is reaching for beneath the friction: the longings and fears that are hard to put into words. So much of what strains a partnership lives in what goes unsaid, and as it comes into the open, real understanding and closeness become possible again. I don't take sides. I've watched many discouraged couples rediscover each other, and I'm confident you can too.

All relationships take work and effort, however that doesn't mean a relationship should only feel like work. Having different likes, viewpoints and drives doesn't necessarily equal incompatibility. Communication and conflict resolution skills are key to a successful relationship. In my work with couples, I engage with each partner as a unique person, however the relationship as a whole is my priority.

Couples come into counseling for various problems. Couples therapy can be very helpful to identify negative patterns of behavior which cause unhappiness, it also can point our strengths in the relationship which are causing a great deal of satisfaction in the relationship. I work from a Christian based Gottman model to help couples to quickly determine what is going wrong for them and help them to solve these issues and have the happy relationship they desire.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Couples are often asked to participate first individually in a pre-counseling consultation. The following goals are then planned around improving strategies as a couple. My initial approach is directed at improving communication skill; listening and how verbal information and body language are being delivered to the other. The couple learns how to work together in a stimulating specific behavioral change. Sessions promote conversation about the couple's differences and similarities. Individually, you will find ways to unlearn old negative patterns to interpersonal related conflicts. Negative behaviors from the past and the memories, can often weaken the couple relationship in the present.

Do you feel like your relationship is in a rut? Are you struggling to intimately connect with your partner? Over the course of my 30 years as a psychotherapist, I have helped many couples build deeper emotional connections and stronger communication through Imago Relationship Therapy and Safe Conversations. Through couples counseling, you can heal and strengthen your bond learning to communicate more effectively and honestly with your partner. You can learn to fully express your needs and get what you truly desire out of your relationship.

Couples have come to see me for a variety of reasons throughout the years, but I find that no matter what the presenting problem may be, being able to effectively communicate with each other is vital to restoring the relationship. Often couples have a completely different style of relating to one another and resolving conflict. I work with couples to better understand their partner and I help each person to communicate in a way that they can finally be heard. It doesn’t matter what you are fighting about if the other person can’t hear what you are saying. Call 714-751-0888 so I can help you express yourself more effectively so you can stop the fighting and start the healing process.

Are you questioning whether to remain invested in your current relationship? Would you like to learn ways in which to strengthen your existing relationship? Learn effective ways of communicating with your partner that can help bridge the gap of misunderstandings, focus on strengths and identify tools that are already building on your commitment to one another.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Couples come in all sorts of configurations, from Mommy/baby, to employer/employee, to parent/child/adoles. and of course husbands/partners/wives. Each of these couples are tremendously intimate and are often the very place we act out, feel grave disappointments and experiences some of our highest joys. This can be an optimum place of growth for both participants. It takes courage, honesty and a willingness to look inward and outward.

The main thing I notice couples coming in for is to work on trust issues, communication problems, and lack of intimacy within the relationship. This can manifest into anger, affairs, shutting down, and a number of other behaviors. I work with couples FIRST on what does work, so that they can build upon skills they already possess within their relationship. 2: Teaching basic listening skills so that partners feel heard. 3: Teaching the couples how to communicate without attacking. 4: implementing those skills at home. Therapy is much more complex than this, and there are many more aspects of communication, but building strengths is very important to relationship success.

Couples therapy should not be about hashing over old wounds. Getting what you want from a relationship involves good communication and active listening, tolerance and forgiveness, emotional intelligence, having common goals and working cooperatively and, like all the bets things in life, presents us with a challenge. Relationships can be hard work but the work is rewarding and life-enhancing. I love to work with couples who are committed to improving their future rather than reliving their past.