Great Couples Counseling in Sutter Creek, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. I specialize in working with affairs and broken trust, abgtneuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Gaining the support of a trained therapist when you desire to improve your relationship with someone can be incredibly valuable. It can often feel like you are stuck in patterns of how you are responding to the other person, maybe you even notice how hard it can be to be honest and vulnerable with other person, despite desiring increased connection. I am trained in couples therapy and use a variety of approaches to support a couple in improving their relationship, depending on the needs of the couple. I am skilled in the Gottman approach and EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples), and I also use IFS (Internal Family Systems). Call to discuss how I can support your relationship growth.

I am a Certified Gottman Therapist and use the world famous, clinically proven Gottman method in my work with you. The Gottman Method is backed by 40 years of research establishing what makes marriage succeed or fail. I bring a deep, abiding passion to helping you and your partner get back to the love that you have for each other. Using the Sound Marital House to asses your relationship strengths and weaknesses, according to the research, I customize our work together, focussing on the areas you need help and education with to restore trust, intimacy & friendship. Most people contact me for painful fighting that creates emotional and sexual distance. Learn tools to restore your relationship!

Every marriage has its ups and downs. In fact, it is not the absence of conflict that makes a difference, it is how you manage conflict when it does arise that determines whether a marriage will survive. Successful couples have learned HOW to manage their conflicts in a way that honors the needs of both partners.

Couples counseling can help when your are having difficulties in your relationship. Whether you are in a relationship, looking for pre-marital counseling, living together, or married, therapy can help you with your connection, communication, your ability to reduce conflicts, reduce resentments, and restore passion and intimacy. It can help your relationship if even just one of you come without your partner. When one person makes shifts in the relationship it can make positive changes as well. Many couples wait longer than necessary hoping the problems will just go away. Don't wait until it's too late. Get help and change the course of your relationship.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

You want to: • Stop walking on eggshells • Actually relax together • Enjoy sex again • Enjoy more connection • Have fewer arguments • Feel heard and understood • Feel loved, cared for, and cherished I help couples work through all of these issues in twelve sessions or less. I want you feel better after your very first session with me, and after twelve sessions (or less) I want you out the door and never coming back. I love my clients, but I love it even more when they don't feel the need to schedule another session because things are already so much better. Just text me in a year to let me know how you are doing!

FREE 30 zoom call - text/call 510-335-5222. Couples therapy lights me up! Not feeling heard, understood, valued or supported? Toxic conflict? Withdrawing? Longing for help? Utilizing research-backed EFT & powerful tools from PACT, NVC, & IFS, I help couples create a secure bond & safe haven with each other. You'll learn to trust, support, hear & "be there" for each other. Discover your attachment styles & learn about the brain & nervous system, survival parts and trauma that may be damaging your relationship. Develop self-awareness, accountabiity & WE instead of just ME mentality. Turn towards each other instead of away with authenticity, compassion, attunement & understanding.

Strong and loving partnerships require commitment, respect, honesty, and a willingness to work as a team. I can teach you new ways to communicate with your partner that will allow you to resolve the recurring stressors in your relationship, handle disagreements with love and respect, and bring you to peaceful resolution. I also specialize in sexual issues and can help you bring a renewed and revitalized intimacy to your relationship.

Nothing means more to you than your relationship with your partner. It's why it hurts so much when you try to get close and they shut down or find some other way to pull away. Or maybe you feel suffocated, criticized, and not enough because it feels like too much is wanted from you. You're not alone. I get how important this person is to you, and want to help you to recognize your stuck push/pull pattern so that you can feel satisfied and understood in your relationship. This is also true when there are more serious problems, like affairs or addictions. As you learn what motivates you as well as your partner, you can again renew the bond of this most important relationship.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

“I work to help couples understand and communicate with each other better. I help them uncover the complex and varied realities that impact them while moving them to a better and healthier relationship.” I have a passion for working with all ages, races, cultures and orientations. I incorporate mindfulness techniques, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and methods by Satir and Minuchin into my sessions. My goal is to help couples to regain healthier ways of communicating and the ability to live with themselves as well as each other.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Couples therapy is my area of specialization and I love this part of my work. Many couples I see are in significant distress in their relationship and we work toward understanding what is causing and maintaining the distress. We will identify and explore the relationship patterns that lead to disconnection as the first step toward positive change and then work toward the development of greater intimacy, trust, safety and emotional connection. I have helped many couples who are on the brink of separation and divorce, as well as couples who are recovering from affairs, betrayals, and addiction.