Family Counseling Services in Alondra Park, CA.

Family therapy looks at the entire family system—parents, children, extended family members—to identify strengths and problematic behaviours. I collaborate with families on strategies for utilizing their own capabilities for resolving problems, and on developing effective communication and problem-solving skills for preventing conflicts. I specialize in working with families of teenagers, which is an age that can be challenging for both the teenagers and their parents.

My approach in family therapy is to focus on the problem or set of problems, not to assign blame to a person or the family as a whole. In family therapy, we will hear how problems affect everyone. There is not always a "solution," but more often than not there are untapped resources that a family can call upon to help reduce a problem's influence on each person's life.

Families are complicated machines. There are many parts, all of which must work in unison and balance with one another. When this balance is disrupted because one or more family members are having an issue or a hard time, the entire machine (family) stops functioning optimally. Like any machine would, your family may need a "tune up" at that time. You must relearn how to function at your best.

In working with families, we will collaborate on addressing the couple's need to be in charge. Family rules and boundaries are sometimes unclear to children. We will work together to communicate your expectations. When acting out, underachievement, conduct problems, defiant or oppositional behaviors present in the children, the the parents need to be on the same page. Your family will learn, insession, preferred communicatin styles; empathic listening, group problem solving skills, tolerance, respect and acceptance of each other. Family members will learn to interact without anger, resentment, sarcasm or disrespect. Parents need to be authoritative without being authoritarian.

Family life can be greatly rewarding and extremely challenging. Whether seeking therapy for issues arising from starting a family, preparing to launch children into adulthood or any stage in between, the difficulties cause concern and deserve attention. At all ages, the creation of a family structure with consistent boundaries and expectations can contribute to healthy lives, both as individuals and as a group. Common Areas of Focus: •Communication patterns •Rules and discipline •Regulating emotions and behavior •Effects of separation, divorce, blending families •Drugs, Alcohol, Sexual Activity •Freedom vs. Limits •School performance •Sibling/peer relations •Responsibilities and Goals

I use a family systems approach in my therapy, so having family members in the room, in my opinion, is the most efficient route towards healing and growth in individuals. I encourage clients to address relationships that are causing distress in their lives and work towards healthy differentiation of self. This can be done in individual therapy as well, but is more effective when all members of the relationship are present.

Families enter therapy for different reasons. Many families are seeking help for an immediate problem or crisis, while others need support changing long standing negative patterns. Family therapy can be beneficial as, it provides opportunities to identify and build on strengths, improve communication, and better understand roles and dynamics that shape the family system. I have experience working with families in crisis and am skilled at assisting parents and children/adolescents increase positive communication and connectivity.

When I work with families, a large focus of the work is learning to communicate with each other. It is also learning to hold space for one another and heal attachment wounds. My space is nonblaming and nonjudgemental. I am always aware of the power dynamics in the room. When I work with minors, I like to involve family members. That can be a caregiver or other family members.

Family therapy sessions aim to strengthen all members of the family so they can work out problems together. Often, if one family member is identified as having an illness, the cause can be traced back to a larger family problem. If the person with the illness is treated while the rest of the family does not change, then the symptoms will persist. Family therapy breaks these cycles by teaching everyone to better interact with one another.

I have found in my many years of experience that many emotional issues and dysfunctional patterns occur in the context of the family system. In family therapy, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. This means that the family system can influence the emotional well being of its members. In our family therapy sessions, we understand the presenting issues through the lens of the family. For example, what are the relationships and connections that provide the foundation for a particular behavior? What is the structure of the family and how does it support the members' behavior? Many behavior patterns and issues respond well by working with the family

Every family has some sort of dysfunction since individuals are not perfect. I have worked for over ten years with youth and their families. I believe family therapy is essential when working with youth since children and adolescents have limited insight and need structure, guidance, and discipline from parents/caregivers. I begin the initial session meeting with the parents/caregivers to identify and discuss problems and confidentiality. I then meet with the youth/children with the parents to work on agreed treatment goals. The ultimate goal of family therapy is to increase open and respectful communication and improve parent/child relationships.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

A family is not just a collection of people. Everyone in the family impacts the family dynamic, how the people relate to each other. And, each person changes that dynamic, in a unique way, even when they may not intend to. If you’re having difficulties in your family, we can address how the family’s rules of relating and the patterns of relationships can help to make things better. We’ll also see how unproductive patterns can be eliminated.