Family Counseling Services in Rolling Hills Estates, CA.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently dysregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dystunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

When working with children and youth, the therapist cannot ignore the family system in which the child lives. I work with parents in multiple ways to help support youth in treatment, which may include separate parent sessions, co-parenting sessions, systemic family therapy, or Filial Therapy, a play therapy practice that coaches and guides parents in special play sessions with their child to decrease unwanted behaviors, improve relationships and communication, increase the child's emotional vocabulary, and increase the child's self-esteem.

When working with families, I create a safe and supportive space where each member feels heard and understood. Together, we’ll explore the patterns, roles, and unspoken dynamics that may be causing conflict or distance. I help families improve communication, repair trust, and navigate challenges such as generational trauma, parenting struggles, or life transitions. My goal is to support your family in building stronger connections, fostering empathy, and creating a healthier, more balanced home environment.

In a society that has become extremely technological, many sensitive young adults have disconnected from nourishing relationships in favor of virtual ones. Connecting with parents, siblings, friends and neighbors, has been replaced by less emotionally fulfilling forms of interaction. My specialty is improving relationships. I can help you build better communication with your child. I can also assist your family in resolving issues from the past for a fresh start. I will support you in creating a more peaceful home environment. So, as difficult as things may seem right now, in working with me your can rest assured that better times ahead.

When communication inside a family breaks down, people slip into fixed roles and stop saying what they truly feel, often to keep the peace. Over time that silence breeds distance and resentment. In our work, we slow things down so each member can actually be understood, while paying attention to the deeper currents underneath the friction — the unspoken expectations, old hurts, and recurring scripts that drive conflict on every side. As those come to light, family members begin to hear one another differently, and situations that felt stuck start to move. I hold space for everyone fairly, without judgment. I'm confident we can rebuild trust and care in your family.

Family Therapy is essential when a family is unbalanced and in need of guidance on how to become a family unit with a healthier structure. Working with a therapist you will be able to validate each family members desires, discuss family goals and improve communication skills to continue using even after therapy ends. Family therapy is not only essential to the family unit but for each individual to be able to feel important and included in family decisions.

When a crisis hits it can be hard to know what to do. Family can be messy, my role is to help you and your family come together in a deeper more meaningful way. Not only will we be looking at the specifics of the conflict/situation at hand, we will also work on developing tools and strategies that uniquely meet the needs of you and your unique family's dynamic. If you feel we might be a good fit--I'd love to hear from you and see how I can be of support.

In working with families, we will collaborate on addressing the couple's need to be in charge. Family rules and boundaries are sometimes unclear to children. We will work together to communicate your expectations. When acting out, underachievement, conduct problems, defiant or oppositional behaviors present in the children, the the parents need to be on the same page. Your family will learn, insession, preferred communicatin styles; empathic listening, group problem solving skills, tolerance, respect and acceptance of each other. Family members will learn to interact without anger, resentment, sarcasm or disrespect. Parents need to be authoritative without being authoritarian.

As a family therapist, I facilitate fair discussions, offer suggestions for changes, teach communication skills and new ways of coping. This helps with understanding each other and finding solutions. I look at the whole family to see whether certain patterns or traits were learned from the previous generation without realizing that some of them may have been ineffective or harmful, even though they seemed familiar and "normal.” Since parents are the heads of the family, they need to work together, not against each other. It's important to make sure that boundaries between the family members are clear, visible, and consistent. This all can improve your family life considerably.

Every family has some sort of dysfunction since individuals are not perfect. I have worked for over ten years with youth and their families. I believe family therapy is essential when working with youth since children and adolescents have limited insight and need structure, guidance, and discipline from parents/caregivers. I begin the initial session meeting with the parents/caregivers to identify and discuss problems and confidentiality. I then meet with the youth/children with the parents to work on agreed treatment goals. The ultimate goal of family therapy is to increase open and respectful communication and improve parent/child relationships.

My approach in family therapy is to focus on the problem or set of problems, not to assign blame to a person or the family as a whole. In family therapy, we will hear how problems affect everyone. There is not always a "solution," but more often than not there are untapped resources that a family can call upon to help reduce a problem's influence on each person's life.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Often times we don't realize the impact our birth families have on how we function on a day to day basis and the difficulties we face. Take this opportunity to explore the dynamics of your childhood, learn how your relationships with immediate and extended family members has impacted your approach to current relationships, work, changes in life and potential stressors.